I don’t know about you, but this week hasn’t gone as planned … not even close. Oh well, it happens. I initially planned the next act of Life: The Musical, but I didn’t provide the criteria on Monday. Once again, it happens – so I’ll push that into next week with hopes of remembering on Monday. That’s just an example of my blog life, but the first two days have been a bit more hectic than I planned. Oh well, it happens.
Enough of my week, how’s yours going so far?
On to your dose of mid-week satire to provide some humor to propel you toward the weekend. Below are headlines from The Onion. Is there one that you find the most humorous? For those wanting more of a challenge, try forming your own original headline with the words in the headlines below the pic. My combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.
New Toyota “Driver Easy Speak” feature helps parents yell at children in back of car
Guy in front of you ordering for entire construction crew
Grandpa looking absolutely precious in new baseball cap
Nation’s gratuitously sexual couples announce plans to wait in line at amusement park
Doctors say average heart attack victim doesn’t clutch at chest nearly dramatically enough
Area man somewhat disturbed to think perfect woman for him out there somewhere
Study finds college still more worthwhile than spending 4 years chained to radiator
Open-minded man willing to look past Jennifer Lawrence’s flaws
New study finds running 20 minutes each day could add years of soreness to life
Man hates being in position to think, feel, and act
My Combo: Jennifer Lawrence find 20 minutes to think, feel, and act like grandpa
A Frank Angle 
Man hates being in position to think, feel, and act…….ok, this was my favorite!
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Cindy,
But that guy represents only 0.001% of males.
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I’ve been editing all day so am too tired (and my vision is too blurred) to create my own combo. But I love yours! Everyone should get to think, feel, and act like a grandpa at least some time. 🙂
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Carrie,
Your blurred eyes and tiredness are a day of editing is understandable. Hopefully you don’t have to do it two days in a row.
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I have to do it several days in a row. Want to finish and get the manuscript off to a publisher. 🙂
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Good luck … and it will be a good feeling to moving it on!
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Yes it will. Thanks. 🙂
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Milton and I did not see any films at the New York Film Festival on Tuesday nor are we going today, Wednesday. I feel like I’m in withdrawal. But we’ll be back Thursday through Sunday. That’s how my week’s been, Frank.
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Lame,
Hang in there with the withdrawal by looking ahead to a fantastic finish. Enjoy!
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Grandpa in new baseball cap doesn’t clutch perfect woman nearly dramatically enough for entire construction crew to look past Jennifer Lawrence’s flaws…..
Did not know who Jennifer Lawrence was… if it is the actress google showed me … no flaws there that I could see….
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Bulldog,
Your combo is along the line that I considered as I had grandpa going after Jennifer Lawrence’s chest … but I restrained myself.
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Perfect woman chooses 4 years chained to radiator over disturbed “open-minded” man clutching precious new baseball cap.
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Ponder,
That’s awesome!! as I’m still laughing.
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Good!!
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I was able to see the Blood Moon this morning – great way to start my day. Week is moving fast, don’t want time to slip away. Have a nice rest of the week Frank.
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Mary,
Cheers to you seeing the Blood Moon … so cheers that it leads to a great day.
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Grandpa chained to radiator, looking disturbed, to think perfect woman plans to wait in line at amusement park.
This week is going to fast, and with the impending Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend, I am not the least bit prepared for our Trash Can Turkey.
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Catherine,
Who would ever chain grandpa to the radiator while he’s thinking about the perfect woman? …. or was he chained to the radiator because he was thinking about the perfect woman? ….. Now … Trash Can Turkey?
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Oh you make me laugh. Inserts Chuckle.
We take a 20lb turkey, I baste it, hubby puts it in the wire contraption he made, ground is covered in foil, hang turkey on steel rod which was pounded into the ground, cover with steel trash can. Arrange charcoal around can and on top, lit, and bake turkey. Turkey is done in approximately 1.5 to 2 hours. Eat. Delicious.
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Thanks for the explanation …. especially because I haven’t heard of anyone doing this!
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Well I will have to do an in-depth blog post for you, though if you YouTube it, you will find many.
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Well thank you .. I’ve never seen or heard of this before. Do you put coals on top of the can?
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All around the bottom of the can, and on top of the can.
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Good to know. I just asked my wife, and she has heard of this method.
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That does not surprise me. 🙂
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Oh you women just stick together.
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Quite a good set of Onions today. Based upon my Afrankangle Onion Headlines: What Hit Me In The Face First evaluation system (loosely based on your “Design-Conditioning-Playability-Cost-Overall General Effect” golf course evaluation system), “New Toyota “Driver Easy Speak” feature helps parents yell at children in back of car” was my favorite, with “Open-minded man willing to look past Jennifer Lawrence’s flaws” in 2nd place.
P.S. I’m on pins and needles wondering if Stonelick Hills made the cut on your lifetime Top 10 golf course list? (based upon your system)
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Tim,
Thanks for your Onion favs … but I hate to disappoint you, I don’t keep a list of Top 10 Courses I’ve played. But because I haven’t played that many, it probably would.
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I am home again after 3 weeks away. A lot happened…too much to elaborate here. It was a good 3 weeks. And, it is good to be home.
I saw and photographed the lunar eclipse this morning. It was a beauty. Post on it soon.
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Jim,
Welcome home …. and from your past posts, a wonderful trip. While I was watching the eclipse this morning, I thought, “I bet Jim is capturing this.” 🙂
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I got some good pix of the eclipse. Posting soon.
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My week is also running away with me. 😦 “Area man finds perfect woman for entire construction crew.” 😕
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Sylvia,
Whoa … I won’t venture into that one! 😉 A question for you … are you in the place you bought or our you in a different residence as you work on the other?
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Very wise, Frank. 😀 We’re in the villa we bought three and a half years ago, where hubby remodeled the kitchen and put wood floors in and did a few other improvements. This other house is in the same area, and a whole different ball game, but is detached and bigger, so worth the effort. We’ll move in when he’s finished it. 🙂
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Thanks for the update!
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Hi Frank! Week’s been busy — so glad tonight’s not the next act.
I love this headline: New Toyota “Driver Easy Speak” feature helps parents yell at children in back of car. But really, I’m wishing Toyota would teach its drivers where the gas pedal is found in their cars — many drive maddeningly slowly!
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Elyse,
Well now, I wonder how Toyota demographics are different from other makers. Meanwhile, busy is a good thing … well .. as long as not too busy.
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Sexual couples look past Jennifer Lawrence’s life.
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Resa,
Jennifer Lawrence is getting a lot of attention here!
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Well, it’s timely!
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Open-minded man willing to think perfect woman for him out there somewhere and look past gratuitously sexual history
Still in Mt. Vernon…getting colder. Love the houses here but haven’t seen much else.
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Val,
A big WOWZA to that headline!!! Has the local Chamber of Commerce or Visitor’s Center asked about your availability to be the Vacation Mt. Vernon spokesperson?
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No, I am thinking that I wouldn’t be a good spokesperson Frank.
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Now that’s a bummer.
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I do understand about a week not going as planned! Mine has been fine, but last week was so hectic I’m still tired. 🙂 I’m glad you gave yourself a little breathing room and just roll with the changes. I sometimes wonder how it is that any of us have time to blog! I’ll look forward to the musical next week.
Average man finds position in back of disturbed guy at baseball park.
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Debra,
“Rolling with it” took me a while to truly believe it … and once I got there, it’s easy to embrace … and actually a bit of freedom! Then again, one never knows what can be encountered at the ballpark.
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“Study finds college still more worthwhile than spending 4 years chained to radiator” Really??? 😀 Love your combo Frank. Hope the rest of the week is less hectic.
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Madhu,
As you well know (and as some say), it takes all kinds of people to make the world go around.
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Heart attack still more worthwhile than soreness, doctors say. Cheers, Frank!
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Cynthia,
That a way as the bright side of a heart attack is something that societies worldwide should know.
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OMG–that first one cracks me up, Frank. My week hasn’t gone as planned either. I have ended up with a damn cold! Hate it when that happens.
Hugs from Ecuador,
Kathy
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Kathy,
Bummer on the cold … Smiles that Toyoto’s Speak Easy feature create a chuckle … Hope the cold (not the chuckle) clears up soon.
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Grandpa finds gratuitously open-minded amusement in construction of sexual position.
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Jim,
Just another example of grandpa being a big winner today … and I originally had him doing something with Jennifer Lawrence’s chest, but thought better of it.
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Thank you for your shared smiles Frank.. This week has flown by… I have been busy doing all sorts and feeling Iike I haven’t achieved much at all… But been resting in between the hectic bits.. Take care… and thank you for your humour.. 🙂
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Sue,
Being busy and not feeling achievement isn’t a good thing. I’m considering dedicating a day for something … a day to write … a day to clean house … etc. … and thanks for the kind words.
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Oh I so so know what you mean Frank… I dedicated my day yesterday to finishing off my Black milk churn.. And spent time in the kitchen making Fresh tomato soup and baking an apple and raspberry pie.. Apples from my daughters garden and raspberries from the allotments.. Today for an hour trying to catch up with my lovely comment left.. Then I have my granddaughter this afternoon.. Life is full.. And that’s how it should be… I hope you enjoy your ‘Time Management Scheme’ 🙂 Hugs Sue
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Wow .. you are quite busy!
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Grandpa finds feel of New sexual position more worthwhile than Doctors say 🙂
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Fasab,
Another one for grandpa … but I wonder why you didn’t include Jennifer Lawrence.
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I think he’s more of a Jennifer Aniston type of guy.
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Now that explains it.
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Mine hasn’t gone as planned either. So – we are on the same boat. See me? I’m the whacko jumping up & down saying – Hey Frank – It’s me – RoSy!!! 😉
Glad I didn’t miss the musical this week. Hope to catch it next week though.
My fave: Grandpa looking absolutely precious in new baseball cap
Made me think of my cute dad. He most always wears a baseball cap. 😀
My combo: Doctors say average man hates being chained to Jennifer Lawrence for 20 minutes each day while running.
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RoSy,
Yep … you missed the musical because I didn’t announce it on Monday … so I’ve already included it on this Monday’s post! Meanwhile, sounds like the average man is too stupid to stop running in that situation!
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