On Satire Bits: Vol. 110

How’s your week gone so far?

With today being a dreary day in Cincinnati, I decided to start my quest of dedicating as much of one day as possible to writing. So, hey … I now have some posts already in the queue!

No golf league in my schedule means I get an extra evening at home. But, that also means I will prepare dinner. My wife had to leave quickly this evening, so I kept it simple – spaghetti with a personally made meat sauce with Italian sausage, onions, fennel seed, basil, red wine, and tomatoes – and then top the plate with crumbled feta cheese.

A reminder that the next act of Life: The Musical goes live Wednesday, 9:30 pm (Eastern US). Because we know life is more than work, Play (as in having fun) is the theme, so get your songs reading with any of the following in the title: Play, Playing, Fun, or a fun activity (such as swimming). The producer is worried about this one, so good luck.

It’s time for that mid-week boost of satire to give you a burst toward the weekend. You also have a chance to create your own, original satirical headline by using the words in the headlines below the image. Have a good rest of the week.

Embed from Getty Images

Going-out-of-business sign thanks neighborhood for 3 months of no support whatsoever

More couples using wedding drones to film nuptials

Entirety of man’s personal data protected by reference to third season of West Wing

Homosexuality only thing parent can accept about son

Employer totally botches job interview

New law requires welfare recipients to submit sweat to prove how they are looking for a job

Wife already knows the one thing she’ll say that can never be taken back

Drug company releases new drug to treat people who feel sort of weird sometimes

New Kindle helps readers show off by shouting title of book loudly and repeatedly

Groundbreaking young adult novel features protagonist who’s a bit of a loner

My Combo: Loner wife helps drug company treat wedding couples with no drugs

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51 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 110

  1. This is my first attempt at the headline – it is more of a story really ……
    Groundbreaking new law requires drug company to prove they are looking for no support whatsoever.

    I’m ready for your Wednesday night 🙂 And your ‘simple’ meal left me feeling a bit ashamed – mine tends to be salad greens and colours from the garden or market with a bit of feta crumbled on top ……..

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  2. Wife bit man’s son using groundbreaking weird nuptials.

    We have a big batch of great chocolate chip cookies. Mine went well with spiced rum.

    We made yogurt today. Found out heating milk at 108˚ for 6 hours only makes warm milk. You have to add the cultures, too. Now we will be up until 11 when it is finished.

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  3. I have a song in mind for your musical, Frank, but Milton and I are going to see an off-Broadway play downtown tomorrow night after work. The play is a long one and I probably won’t make it home until close to midnight. So, it might behoove me to think of a backup song. First world problems.

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  4. I burst out laughing over the drug to treat transient weird feelings–sign me up for an Rx! Here’s my contribution:

    “Botched litigation (their suit didn’t prevail) prompts couple to thank drug company for going out of business–when their new drug failed to protect wife from weird neighborhood drones who pestered her with loud and repeated shouts for nuptial welfare support. Husband was unavailable for comment.”

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    • Kay!!!!
      Hope all is well with you in NYC. Maybe the recipients have to bottle the sweat in a government-approved container that can only be bought in certain places on the third Wednesday following a blue moon in even-numbered months during leap years..

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  5. “Going-out-of-business sign thanks neighborhood for 3 months of no support whatsoever” and “More couples using wedding drones to film nuptials” have been fighting it out all morning but at present are still tied for best Headline.

    Speaking of ties (the Bengals’ 37-37 sister kisser), I’m wondering if like Tom Hanks saying there isn’t any crying in baseball, you think there shouldn’t be any ties in professional football?

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    • Tim,
      Good choices on your Onion favs. Regarding ties in the NFL. People are getting the shorts in a knot over this one simply because they aren’t used to ties … so there’s one obvious solution that nobody has mentioned … the NFL needs more ties.

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  6. Frank, good for you to make dinner. It sounds yummy. Let’s see. About “Wife already shows off sweat to prove how people who feel weird sometimes botch job interviews.” I’m sure that makes no sense! It’s a fun exercise.

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  7. LOL! They’re all good, but these two made me laugh hardest:

    Wife already knows the one thing she’ll say that can never be taken back
    New Kindle helps readers show off by shouting title of book loudly and repeatedly

    Your spaghetti dinner sounds delish! 🙂

    Like

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