On Satire Bits: Vol. 115

Greetings for cold Cincinnati. Today was a chance to hit a record “cold” … that is, a record lowest high temp for this day in history (21F, -6C). As I write this, I’m not sure if it happened, but given the wind, I stayed in as much as possible today. The good news is that we should see 50 F (10 C) this weekend. How’s the weather in your part of the world?

Although we expected some difficulties, we were surprised to learn that our dance studio is closing at the end of the week, so the process has started on locating a new private instructor. Fortunately, we have resources to ask.

Hooray … most of you seemed to enjoy the previous post about perceptions!

Due to the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday in the US, Life: The Musical returns next week at a special time … so I will announce the theme in Friday’s Opinions in the Shorts.

Time for your mid-week boost of satire from The Onion to energize your week. Most of you know the drill, but for those who need encouragement, try the Combo Challenge. That is, make your own new headline from the words in the headlines below. My Combo is at the end.

Have a good rest of the week.

Embed from Getty Images

Farmer chases fifth wedding party out of barn this month

Casino reporting steady profits from slot machine that promises players they will lose

Middle-aged man having best snacks of his life

Bank introduces underdraft fee

Every one of man’s priorities unrecognizable to grandfather

Job applicant totally nails interview with person who will make life a living hell for next 5 years

Horrified Subway execs assumed people were buying footlongs to share with a friend

Housefly drops everything to go stand on watermelon slice

Lunch barely misses man’s vital organs

Man kicking self for wasting valuable plate space at beginning of buffet line

My Combo: Horrified Man promises bank execs his organs as fee for buying fifth buffet