On Satire Bits: Vol. 116

Greetings everyone. How’s your week so far?

My week started with a planned minor surgery (removing a ganglion cyst from my lower leg). Although the worst part was arriving 2+ hours early, I’ll take it easy for a few days, which include no ballroom. On the other hand, I have time to a) prepare the next act of Life: The Musical, b) wrap the gift bags for the 2014 aFa Holiday Gathering (date TBA), and c) try to catch up on visiting your blogs.

This week will always be one that touches our hearts with memories as Monday has the 3rd anniversary of losing this wonderful friend (tribute post), while Tuesday was the 1st anniversary of my mother-in-law’s (MIL) passing (tribute post with good music). For me, I look back at the positive reminders that each of these ladies gave me. Meanwhile, I talked to the surviving spouse on Monday, plus we went to dinner with my father-in-law on Tuesday. Here’s a handbell piece that we played for our friend and fellow ringer above, plus my MIL would have loved it.

Enough of that, after all, the mid-week posts are about boosting your energy. Because the holiday crazies have begun, so it’s time for my annual video demonstrating frantic. Besides, I know Eleanor loves this video … and that crazy woman will get up, move, and shake it to this tune.

Now that the music is done, it’s time for your mid-week dose from The Onion. As is the custom, those desiring an extra challenge can create their own satirical headline by using the words from the headlines below. It’s easy, just think nouns, verbs, adjectives, prepositions, and whatever parts of speech you need – but you can only use the words below. My “combo” is at the end.

Have a good rest of the week.

Man given 3 months to live throws in one or two non-sexual things to do

Parents considering second child so daughter can have someone to grow apart from

Toll booth attendant wishes just one high-speed chase would crash through entry bar

New study finds humans shouldn’t spend more than 5 consecutive hours together

Study: 63% of all human speech occurs under breath

Area dad wants to watch one 7-hour block of television without interruption

New biodiversity program busses in species from outside ecosystems

Hospital comforts patients with new therapy oyster program

Woman worried student loans could prevent her from one day owning entirely different kind of crippling debt

Man stuck in dead-end body

My Combo: Worried woman spends 5 hours outside toll booth to comfort non-sexual area man with oyster therapy without interruption

42 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 116

  1. Yes, I did boogey down to Wizards in Winter. Very cool bell arrangement and choir. Just topped off the tree, hung the lights, and pinned the stockings. Wizards in Winter was a perfect topper.

    P.S. Thanks for the mention! 🙂


  2. Praying for your complete and quick recovery, Frank–empathizing with loss anniversaries, too.

    63% of parents considering all non-sexual things to do; crippling, dead-end–in therapy together….


    • Ponder,
      Thanks for the best wishes on both counts … meanwhile .. oh no! … the couple’s therapy industry can’t be crippled!

      BTW … if I recall, you like handbells, so I hope you watched both of these!


  3. Oh, Frank. Thanks for the laugh. We have been on the phone with Cox, which provides our cable and internet and phone all evening. So this one absolutely cracked me up: “Area dad wants to watch one 7-hour block of television without interruption.”


  4. No face-hitting Onions today but I enjoyed the bell choirs. Comments on their performances to follow during UC-San Diego State TV timeouts, starting with me not thinking the Bearcats are very good yet.


  5. Cheers to being a little lighter on your foot! Bet you will now be flying on the dance floors!
    Add me too to the list of people who love this handbell piece [both actually].
    …and for a surreal attempt:
    ‘Hospital considering humans under television could prevent ecosystems crash 63% of all high-speed crippling species.’
    Happy Wednesday, Frank and -as we say here- ‘perastika’ [may you heal soon] 🙂


    • Marina,
      Thanks for the well wishes. I think i’ll be back on the dance floor very soon, but I will follow my surgeon’s directives. It feel much more normal today, so I anticipate normalcy next week.

      Meanwhile, cheers to you for working a lot into your combo!


  6. Hope your leg soon heals, Frank. Any procedure, however small, isn’t a pleasant experience. Love the hand bell pieces, but the second one is really great. “Area man shouldn’t spend more than five consecutive hours stuck in toll booth.”


    • Sylvia,
      Many thanks … and I’m confident that healing will be quick. I know you enjoy the handbell pieces, but they deliver different moods! … Meanwhile, stuck in the toll booth would be horrible, but at least the area man has a time limit.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Study: 63% of all human speech occurs under breath. lol! That’s especially true if there are teenagers around. I hope you’re healing quickly and smoothly, Frank. Enjoy your rest time. 🙂


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