On Satire Bits: Vol. 120

Happy Midweek from chilly Cincinnati. Brrrr … but at least it’s not as cold as it was … and warmer weather is on the way. To those to my north, I know it’s colder for you, and we northerners envy the southerners and those in the southern hemisphere.

I just saw the movie Selma. I hope to post about it soon, but the bottom line is that I recommend the movie.

Some of you may recall that our dance studio closed. Fortunately for us, another studio picked up our lessons with no strings attached. Because we had already paid for them, that’s huge. At the new venue, so far, so good. My wife was out tonight, so I went to a group class for basic steps of bachata. It’s not me, but that it was fun to try. For the curious, here’s a video of steps with the basics. Then again, this couple is smokin’ with more advanced steps.

On to your midweek collection of satire from The Onion. Which of these give you the biggest chuckle? For those desiring a challenge, make your own original satirical headline by using only the words in the headlines below the image. My Combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Embed from Getty Images

Area man self-conscious about the wrong things

Man too exhausted to repress both anger and sadness

After careful thought, teen applies to college where family donating building

Man’s whole job undoing handiwork of self-checkout machine

New census study finds that 40% of US population is filler

Restaurant patrons rapidly losing faith parents going to do something about 4-year old

Delicate little man kept awake all night by having coffee after 4 pm

Job applicant blows away interviewer with intimate knowledge of company’s About Us page

Report: 79% of world’s attics remain unexplored

Man’s heart stopped as speaker asks audience to turn to person next to them

Four angels banished from heaven for attempting to unionize

Crowd outside of White House hoping to catch glimpse of President naked

My Combo: Restaurant banishes patrons for intimate antics with coffee machine

55 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 120

  1. Wait. How can I be first commenter? I’ve been so far behind!

    OK, I loved this headline: “Area man self-conscious about the wrong things.” It sounds like Mitt Romney, to me, and the fact that he (1) wants to run for Prez again and (2) wants to do it on a POVERTY platform. I know I blogged about it myself, but I can’t stop laughing about it. What a totally unaware human.


  2. Um Frank – your basics step video was SMOKIN’ HOT! Really, I’m not sure a woman of my advanced years and single status should be watching that 🙂 I wonder how Right feels about you dancing this without her? 🙂 But seriously, I hadn’t seen this dance before and like to keep my eddication up, so thank you!

    There were some good headlines this week and I don’t think I can out do them – I particularly chuckled over the attics percentage – I wonder if that is where all the missing bodies are…….


  3. I judged today’s Onion group to have an overall General Effect score of 6.2 out of 10. “Report: 79% of world’s attics remain unexplored” and “New census study finds that 40% of US population is filler” scored highest in the Individual Performance category.

    I plan to see “Selma” soon and look forward to your review.

    Great to hear that your dance studio change worked out!


    • Tim,
      Don’t know how long we will stay with the new studio, but we appreciate what they’ve done!!! …. and good instruction, too! Meanwhile, given your experience as a performance judge, 6.2 is decent … but it wouldn’t qualify for Indy.


  4. This was an especially good set of headlines… 40% of the US population being filler and the job candidate’s dazzling knowledge of the About Us page both really tested my ability to keep a straight face at work. I’ll attempt my own as tribute:

    “New study: US Census wrong about 40% of the population”


  5. Okay, all that hip action would through my back out indefinitely! I enjoyed the song though, hubby and I danced to it at our wedding so long ago.

    Four angels hoping to catch delicate little man, remain banished from attics.


  6. My RSS Feed Reader has a real problem with your blog site Mr Frank. It keeps asking me if I am “sure you want to continue to this site?” so obviously your infamy proceeds you ;). I can’t remember the last time that I went to the cinema to watch a movie on the big screen Mr Frank. There is something wonderful about craning your neck whilst eating synthetic popcorn that can only be experienced in a cinema but eating homemade butter popcorn in your pajamas whilst watching a movie in the comfort of your own home takes a lot of beating ;).

    I am UBER impressed with you and your wife’s dance lessons. The day Stevie-boy and I take up ballroom dancing is the day that hell freezes over so I am really glad that at least one couple of our ilk is taking up and maintaining the dancing status quo. Holy smoke those people can dance!

    That photo is a replication of every single one of my children s favourite face-pull Mr Frank. I am not sure that they gave you permission to replicate it here…

    Oh MYYY on your combo Mr Frank…I am blushing!

    Here’s mine… “79% of angels too exhausted to catch a glimpse of President banished from heaven for rapidly losing faith”. I like WalkToRio’s contribution (blushing…)


    • Narf,
      I can’t say that we are avid movie goers, but we go in spurts … and this time of year is normally on of those times.

      Glad to know that I’m officially declared as riff-raff by your cyber security. Don’t know if I’ve ever received a higher honor.

      Regarding dance, we do this for fun … and it has been, plus we’ve got to know many good people … so know we have a circle of dance friends.

      About the combo … Rio’s is a great one … and I considered one along those lines, but I held myself back. Meanwhile, I imagine those angels are either shedding a tear or laughing.


  7. How great it is that you were able to get picked up by another studio and no additional fees – that’s pretty good. I’ll bet you had a good time, even thought the new steps might not have been your cup of tea. Have a wonderful evening, week is half-over and so is our cold. Our temps will be in the 60’s this coming weekend!


    • Mary,
      Oh yes … the warming trend is heading our way in a few days, which means 40s for gas.

      I have no idea how a competitor picked us up … but I understand why. Nonetheless, we are taking advantage of the situation and they are treating us well. At least I can I say tried bachata … and dance friends chuckle when I tell them.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. LOL on the bachata. Every time a bachata song comes out on the radio – my hubby comments on how he thinks the bachata dance is ugly. I admit – I do like some of the songs. The bachata version of Stand by me is one that I do like.


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