Happy Midweek from chilly Cincinnati. Brrrr … but at least it’s not as cold as it was … and warmer weather is on the way. To those to my north, I know it’s colder for you, and we northerners envy the southerners and those in the southern hemisphere.
I just saw the movie Selma. I hope to post about it soon, but the bottom line is that I recommend the movie.
Some of you may recall that our dance studio closed. Fortunately for us, another studio picked up our lessons with no strings attached. Because we had already paid for them, that’s huge. At the new venue, so far, so good. My wife was out tonight, so I went to a group class for basic steps of bachata. It’s not me, but that it was fun to try. For the curious, here’s a video of steps with the basics. Then again, this couple is smokin’ with more advanced steps.
On to your midweek collection of satire from The Onion. Which of these give you the biggest chuckle? For those desiring a challenge, make your own original satirical headline by using only the words in the headlines below the image. My Combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.
Embed from Getty ImagesArea man self-conscious about the wrong things
Man too exhausted to repress both anger and sadness
After careful thought, teen applies to college where family donating building
Man’s whole job undoing handiwork of self-checkout machine
New census study finds that 40% of US population is filler
Restaurant patrons rapidly losing faith parents going to do something about 4-year old
Delicate little man kept awake all night by having coffee after 4 pm
Job applicant blows away interviewer with intimate knowledge of company’s About Us page
Report: 79% of world’s attics remain unexplored
Man’s heart stopped as speaker asks audience to turn to person next to them
Four angels banished from heaven for attempting to unionize
Crowd outside of White House hoping to catch glimpse of President naked
My Combo: Restaurant banishes patrons for intimate antics with coffee machine
A Frank Angle 
Wait. How can I be first commenter? I’ve been so far behind!
OK, I loved this headline: “Area man self-conscious about the wrong things.” It sounds like Mitt Romney, to me, and the fact that he (1) wants to run for Prez again and (2) wants to do it on a POVERTY platform. I know I blogged about it myself, but I can’t stop laughing about it. What a totally unaware human.
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Elyse,
Cheers to you being first … then again, queens simply work we plebes in whenever they can. As for Mitt, what cracks me up are the ones who thought he was a lousy candidate want him to run.
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I thought he was a lousy candidate and I’d be happy if he ran again … but then, perhaps I have an ulterior motive.
Nah.
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Not you … interestingly, he would have to run against himself.
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“Delicate little man blows away to college to catch glimpse of wrong things”—Because let’s face it, there are lots of wrong things going on in colleges…
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As for your great combo–Ouch!
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Hmmm … wonder what part got hurt?
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That’s for the doctors and nurses to know…
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… and probably laugh about in private.
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Bingo.
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Carrie,
Absolutely … blaming more problems on colleges seems reasonable. I wonder if this delicate little man was on the windy plains of states like Nebraska.
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Probably. If so, I hope he wore plenty of layers.
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The nightmare scenario, “self-conscious teen kept awake all night After intimate glimpse of parents naked”.
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Fasab,
Simply fabulous … and a prize for your efforts … a pun-less week!
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😉
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I am dying to see Selma. I think I will cry most of the movie, though. MLK, Jr. is one of my biggest heroes. His life and words have such power.
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Angela,
Go!!!! The movie has a mix of emotions … and is powerful. If I can get it together, I hope to feature it on my next post.
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Please do. I’d love to read your review. And I will go see it, very soon. Maybe when I visit my daughter next week in Portland. She’ll cry, too, so I’ll have company!
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I can say that it will be my next post, but it’s a mix of review and the event.
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Um Frank – your basics step video was SMOKIN’ HOT! Really, I’m not sure a woman of my advanced years and single status should be watching that 🙂 I wonder how Right feels about you dancing this without her? 🙂 But seriously, I hadn’t seen this dance before and like to keep my eddication up, so thank you!
There were some good headlines this week and I don’t think I can out do them – I particularly chuckled over the attics percentage – I wonder if that is where all the missing bodies are…….
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Pauline,
Oh yes … hot for sure! Right had no problem with me going to the class. Besides, the class focused on steps, thus dance partners were a bit further apart. But hey …. age isn’t a factor. Did you watch the other video?
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Yes I did – a young couple with less heat dancing on a wooden deck. I watched that first then went looking for the basic steps and found the smokin’ hot one. I thought I was going to see ‘step one two three, four and five, sway those hips…… six, seven, eight…….’ 🙂
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Ah ha … in the first one, the steps were basic … but I can see the sense of steam. 😉 How about this one for basic basics? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhHGdBBF7Xk
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Ahha! Thank you Frank – the steps are pretty much mine now. But I think my days of moving hips like that may be over – though the exercise was really good -pant, pant, huff – it’s the ‘lift’ bit that gets me 🙂
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Glad this helped … now return to the first one to spot the basics.
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Study finds 79% of population donating heart to wrong person.
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X,
Oh my … does that mean we should change our donor cards?
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To “donate my organs to the right person only”?
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I can see a stipulation list in the future … a possible post from the King of Lists?
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Self checkouts are the work of Satan!
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GFB,
… and now Satin has taken it to another level with hand scanners to scan and bag as you shop.
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Leave me alone Scanner!
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President too exhausted after attempting to do 79% of world’s blow jobs.
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Leo,
i considered going in this direction, but took the high road … so many thanks for taking the leap!
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I judged today’s Onion group to have an overall General Effect score of 6.2 out of 10. “Report: 79% of world’s attics remain unexplored” and “New census study finds that 40% of US population is filler” scored highest in the Individual Performance category.
I plan to see “Selma” soon and look forward to your review.
Great to hear that your dance studio change worked out!
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Tim,
Don’t know how long we will stay with the new studio, but we appreciate what they’ve done!!! …. and good instruction, too! Meanwhile, given your experience as a performance judge, 6.2 is decent … but it wouldn’t qualify for Indy.
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This was an especially good set of headlines… 40% of the US population being filler and the job candidate’s dazzling knowledge of the About Us page both really tested my ability to keep a straight face at work. I’ll attempt my own as tribute:
“New study: US Census wrong about 40% of the population”
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Twixt,
I aim to get you laughing aloud at work! Regarding the US Census, and to think so many decisions are based on 40% error. 😉
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Okay, all that hip action would through my back out indefinitely! I enjoyed the song though, hubby and I danced to it at our wedding so long ago.
Four angels hoping to catch delicate little man, remain banished from attics.
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Catherine,
Even when I read your posts and comments, your back conditions pops into my head … but hey … glad to bring back a musical memory for you! … and oh no … Angels banished from the attics … hmmm … sounds like a song title.
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Thanks Frank.
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My RSS Feed Reader has a real problem with your blog site Mr Frank. It keeps asking me if I am “sure you want to continue to this site?” so obviously your infamy proceeds you ;). I can’t remember the last time that I went to the cinema to watch a movie on the big screen Mr Frank. There is something wonderful about craning your neck whilst eating synthetic popcorn that can only be experienced in a cinema but eating homemade butter popcorn in your pajamas whilst watching a movie in the comfort of your own home takes a lot of beating ;).
I am UBER impressed with you and your wife’s dance lessons. The day Stevie-boy and I take up ballroom dancing is the day that hell freezes over so I am really glad that at least one couple of our ilk is taking up and maintaining the dancing status quo. Holy smoke those people can dance!
That photo is a replication of every single one of my children s favourite face-pull Mr Frank. I am not sure that they gave you permission to replicate it here…
Oh MYYY on your combo Mr Frank…I am blushing!
Here’s mine… “79% of angels too exhausted to catch a glimpse of President banished from heaven for rapidly losing faith”. I like WalkToRio’s contribution (blushing…)
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Narf,
I can’t say that we are avid movie goers, but we go in spurts … and this time of year is normally on of those times.
Glad to know that I’m officially declared as riff-raff by your cyber security. Don’t know if I’ve ever received a higher honor.
Regarding dance, we do this for fun … and it has been, plus we’ve got to know many good people … so know we have a circle of dance friends.
About the combo … Rio’s is a great one … and I considered one along those lines, but I held myself back. Meanwhile, I imagine those angels are either shedding a tear or laughing.
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Area teen exhausted self-checkout machine by having restaurant coffee all night.
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Brilliant collection and combo, Frank. I hear that… unexplored knowledge of 79% of heaven blows away exhausted self-conscious angels and rapidly losing faith.
Happy Hump Day! 😉
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Marina,
Blowing away angels is quite the feat!
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How great it is that you were able to get picked up by another studio and no additional fees – that’s pretty good. I’ll bet you had a good time, even thought the new steps might not have been your cup of tea. Have a wonderful evening, week is half-over and so is our cold. Our temps will be in the 60’s this coming weekend!
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Mary,
Oh yes … the warming trend is heading our way in a few days, which means 40s for gas.
I have no idea how a competitor picked us up … but I understand why. Nonetheless, we are taking advantage of the situation and they are treating us well. At least I can I say tried bachata … and dance friends chuckle when I tell them.
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I’m loving the Pacific NW! It was 50 degrees and sunny today! Do I sound like I’m bragging? 😉
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Lorna,
Oh no … you’re not bragging, but I detect thrilled!
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Good detective work! 🙂
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I wasn’t familiar with Bachata, but it looks like fun! I think it would take a lot of practice to look like those, too! Well, to actually look like those two would require much more than just practice! 🙂
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Debra,
It would require a lot of practice for me, but it is natural for some … just not me. Oh well … maybe the partner makes the difference. 😉
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LOL on the bachata. Every time a bachata song comes out on the radio – my hubby comments on how he thinks the bachata dance is ugly. I admit – I do like some of the songs. The bachata version of Stand by me is one that I do like.
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RoSy,
Ha ha … now that made me laugh! No ugly to me, but smokin’!
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