On Satire Bits: Vol. 122

The nor’easter storm pounded the New England coast this week. Although Lame in NYC got lucky, I’ve got the feeling Audra took the brunt. Maybe Cynthia can give us a report from Vermont. Good luck to everyone up there.

Meanwhile, Cincinnati received a dusting and cool temperatures.

In the spirit of my education series, The Onion’s archives provides this week’s Wednesday satire to spring you toward the weekend. Even though these are from the vault, the Combo Challenge is still available – so hey – make your own headline from the words in the headlines below the image. My Combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Students thankful standardized curriculum sparing them from free-spirited teacher antics

Parent urges child to invest in improv comedy education

Study: Most high school graduates woefully unprepared for high school

Instruction in Internet negates need for sex education

Education is our passport to something or other

Are tests biased against students who don’t give a shit?

Study finds college is more valuable than spending four years chained to radiator

Importance of education given valuable lip service

Dept of Education study reveals Seniors Rule

Parents of nasal learners demand odor-based curriculum

Progressive charter school doesn’t have students

Report: Chinese third graders falling behind US high school students in science and math

My Combo: Progressive charter school students who don’t give a shit urge woefully unprepared parents to invest in free-spirited improv sex education curriculum 

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48 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 122

  1. Love the idea of nasal learners. Maybe bloodhounds could be hired as their teachers!

    We are up to our armpits in snow, here in western Maine, but the worst of it is high winds and drifting. They say it will let up, wee hours of Wednesday. Being a hermit, I don’re suffer from cabin fever, but I’ve got fingers crossed against losing the heat and lights…that could be serious trouble for an oldie like me….

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  2. That last one about the Chinese 3rd graders cracked me up – you are on an education theme of late, eh? Well, we’re freezing up here. Clear skies and no snow, but under minus 20 C with the wind.

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  3. I am so thoroughly gobsmacked by the Onion’s headlines and your compilation, Frank that I wouldn’t even try to compete! However, I am inspired to suggest that public education should abandon all rules and let teachers compete based on a parental evaluation vote once a year.

    We are heating up down here at the edge of the Ozarks. The high today is predicted at 71°!!! Students, can you spell “climate change”? 😆

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  4. The high snark content of today’s Onions made them miss my face. These however made me duck:

    1. Progressive charter school doesn’t have students.
    2. Study: Most high school graduates woefully unprepared for high school.
    3. Report: Chinese third graders falling behind US high school students in science and math.

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  5. Oh, Frank those students are quite …progressive!!! 😉 Maybe that explains why:
    Instruction in Dept of Education negates need for odor-based curriculum, chained to radiator for unprepared students. 🙂 Happy Wednesday!

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