On Satire Bits: Vol. 126

Welcome to midweek. How’s your week been so far?

March weather in Cincinnati is quite wide-ranging with cool to warm and snow to thunderstorms. Whew! The last half of the week looks to be cold. Yuk! That’s OK because my golf clubs remain in the backroom.

A reminder that Thursday is Name Your Own Holiday Day. Do you have any suggestions? I’m proposing Flying Rutabaga Day, Turtles with Prehensile Tails Day, and Hats Off to the Women of CNN Day.

This week’s midweek dose of satire is for RoSy, whoΒ (long ago) requested a sports set from The Onion’s archives.

Don’t forget the Combo Challenge – that is, making your own satirical headline from the words in the headlines below. My Combo is at the end.

Have a good rest of the week.

Embed from Getty Images

New report suggests it kind of weird baseball uniforms have belts

Man watching World Cup thought he would have seen more bicycle kicks by now

Goalkeeper announces plans to frantically wave and yell at teammates before corner kick

Exhausted cyclists ask for some drugs so they can finish Tour de France

Michael Phelps apologizes to entire nation after tasting Subway for the first time

Amnesty International blasts hockey league for penalty box conditions

Hockey jersey tucked in for date

Student athlete graduates with 3.8 grade point average

Player’s season depends on if he can stay healthy

Report: Majority of baseball players swallow up to six baseballs during sleep each year

My Combo: Exhausted hockey players frantically swallow entire Subway in penalty box causing goalkeeper to wave and yell for first-time date

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62 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 126

  1. Hi Frank!
    Thanks for the topic & the mention. πŸ˜€

    My fave: Hockey jersey tucked in for date
    (All three of my kids wore their Bruins hockey jerseys for their school photos.)

    My combo: Michael Phelps apologizes for wearing tucked in hockey jersey with baseball uniform while watching World Cup.

    Your combo: Love it! Right up my alley with my girls being hockey chicks & my family loving hockey. And – both have been in the penalty box too. LOL

    Nighty-night πŸ˜‰

    Like

  2. Amnesty International apologizes for plans to ask for Exhausted Student athlete baseball players to swallow entire Cup of weird tasting drugs before watching teammates for the first time

    Like

  3. As this is sports oriented I’ll update you on the Cricket World Cup currently being played at venues in New Zealand and Australia who are the joint hosts. I am pleased, proud and happy to state that NZ is playing well. We have the best team since the halcyon days of the 80’s and early 90’s. For the first time we have made it to the finals and will front up to either Australia [boo-hiss] or India, depending on who wins their battle tomorrow.

    I realise this information is of zero interest to most Americans, but as I hear constantly about American football and American baseball from my American friends, I thought I’d tender one of our national passions πŸ™‚

    Like

  4. Sports are fun to watch when there are more than one TV in the house! That way, should the sport being watched be of no interest to the other, they are not stuck…

    Weird Goalkeeper suggests teammates stay healthy and frantically wave for some drugs in penalty box

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Good to see my AFA blog favorites starting to come back. None of the Satirical Headlines came near my face today, but my soccer friends might have been grazed by “Man watching World Cup thought he would have seen more bicycle kicks by now.”

    Thanks for getting me online to see what your “Hats Off to the Women of CNN Day” was all about.

    Like

  6. Hi Frank. Here’s a feeble attempt on a topic which is completely unknown to me! [you wouldn’t have guessed, would you?] πŸ˜‰
    Exhausted Goalkeeper kicks hockey jersey and cyclists for watching World Cup.

    Like

  7. Invent your own day eh Mr Frank, well the mind boggles really. How about “Three cheers for obsolete clauses Day” or “Bring it ON Day” or “Social media free day” or “Bite me, I parked here first Day”? I brainstormed the billions of word combinations around for about 20 seconds and in the end I settled for “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Day”. I feel it is suitably optimistic whilst maintaining a kind of aloof smugness that occurs when a word knows that just about everyone is going to have to go to Google to look up how to spell it (as I did, thus I am NOT one of the “in” group when it comes to spelling πŸ˜‰ ).

    Here’s my combo suggestion
    “Man watching World Cup blasts six baseballs after tasting Subway for the first time. Apoligises to entire nation.”

    Have a great rest of your week Mr and Mrs Frank and keep up those dancing feet. You are foxtrotting for us all πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Amnesty International asks Michael Phelps to swallow up to six baseballs.

    For Thursday, March 26th, I go with your own selection of “Cloud of Distraught” Day. (You thought I had forgotten.) Cloud of Distraught Day could reappear on April 15th as well.

    Like

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