Welcome to midweek. How’s your week been so far?
March weather in Cincinnati is quite wide-ranging with cool to warm and snow to thunderstorms. Whew! The last half of the week looks to be cold. Yuk! That’s OK because my golf clubs remain in the backroom.
A reminder that Thursday is Name Your Own Holiday Day. Do you have any suggestions? I’m proposing Flying Rutabaga Day, Turtles with Prehensile Tails Day, and Hats Off to the Women of CNN Day.
This week’s midweek dose of satire is for RoSy, who (long ago) requested a sports set from The Onion’s archives.
Don’t forget the Combo Challenge – that is, making your own satirical headline from the words in the headlines below. My Combo is at the end.
Have a good rest of the week.
Embed from Getty ImagesNew report suggests it kind of weird baseball uniforms have belts
Man watching World Cup thought he would have seen more bicycle kicks by now
Goalkeeper announces plans to frantically wave and yell at teammates before corner kick
Exhausted cyclists ask for some drugs so they can finish Tour de France
Michael Phelps apologizes to entire nation after tasting Subway for the first time
Amnesty International blasts hockey league for penalty box conditions
Hockey jersey tucked in for date
Student athlete graduates with 3.8 grade point average
Player’s season depends on if he can stay healthy
Report: Majority of baseball players swallow up to six baseballs during sleep each year
My Combo: Exhausted hockey players frantically swallow entire Subway in penalty box causing goalkeeper to wave and yell for first-time date
A Frank Angle 
Hi Frank!
Thanks for the topic & the mention. 😀
My fave: Hockey jersey tucked in for date
(All three of my kids wore their Bruins hockey jerseys for their school photos.)
My combo: Michael Phelps apologizes for wearing tucked in hockey jersey with baseball uniform while watching World Cup.
Your combo: Love it! Right up my alley with my girls being hockey chicks & my family loving hockey. And – both have been in the penalty box too. LOL
Nighty-night 😉
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RoSy,
Being so long ago, do you recall requesting sports? … and cheers for your three kids loving hockey. Meanwhile, Michael Phelps needs to apologize for being confused.
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Yes – I do remember requesting that. 😀
Ha – he sure does.
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Amnesty International blasts baseball uniforms because they have belts!
I mean really????
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Cathy,
After all, it is Amnesty International.
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How about if I declare Thursday “NO Sports on TV Day”? Will that work? Please?????
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Elyse,
Sorry … it won’t work because Thursday has 4 NCAA basketball tournament games … and John must see them all. Closest thing you will get is the day after baseball’s All-Star game … so you must wait until July.
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If I live that long …
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Ah … you’ll be fine … after all, basketball will be over next weekend … then Opening Day for baseball! … and I imagine John is excited about the Nats chances this season.
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Groan. (I wouldn’t really mind him watching it. But he gets too involved. I would rather he not die of a heart attack over a —– fill in the blank game
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I like watching sports … but I maintain my emotions. Then again, that’s my general demeanor.
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A nice new banner up there. Looks like spring colors.
Man belts Phelps on first date.
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Jim,
I think the green and purple go well with the rest of the template. Glad you like it … and good one with using belts as a verb. Looks like Michael Phelps could be popular in this post.
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Amnesty International apologizes for plans to ask for Exhausted Student athlete baseball players to swallow entire Cup of weird tasting drugs before watching teammates for the first time
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Fasab,
Yowza!!!! That’s awesome. Has potential for winner winner chicken dinner.
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Amnesty International plans to frantically wave and yell to entire nation for baseball players 3.8 grade point average.
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Bulldog,
Just went one thinks Amnesty International is getting their act together, the yell at good people!
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As this is sports oriented I’ll update you on the Cricket World Cup currently being played at venues in New Zealand and Australia who are the joint hosts. I am pleased, proud and happy to state that NZ is playing well. We have the best team since the halcyon days of the 80’s and early 90’s. For the first time we have made it to the finals and will front up to either Australia [boo-hiss] or India, depending on who wins their battle tomorrow.
I realise this information is of zero interest to most Americans, but as I hear constantly about American football and American baseball from my American friends, I thought I’d tender one of our national passions 🙂
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Pauline,
Thanks for the update and best of luck of your national team. As a whole, Americans (including me) don’t know much about cricket. I knew India was a traditional power, but I didn’t realize that about Australia and NZ.
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Oh yes – we both stand every morning imploring God to save our Queen, and here in NZ lead the world in rugby [surely you’ve heard of the All Blacks] and play cricket on the beach every summer. One of these statements is not quite true. 🙂
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I have heard of the All Blacks! … so I’m not totally clueless.
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Lucky I am not a sports fan (at ALL) Ms Pauline or some lines might have to be drawn in some sand with some sticks about now! 😉
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Oh, we don’t include Tasmanians as Aussies at all – quite a different species altogether. Cuddly and warm and scuffly like a wombat 🙂 xoxo
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Ah ha … Fran gets a free pass!
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Are you calling me FAT Ms Pauline?! ( 😉 )
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Ms Pauline is obviously into the World Rugby Championships, so don’t cross her, or else no more shipment of goodies.
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Er…not rugby Mr Frank, cricket. That sport where you get a bat and you tap a ball nicely to the nice man at the other end of the cricket pitch where he taps it rather nicely on a set of nice stumps and nicely calls out “Er…I think I have you stumped old fellow…time for cucumber sandwiches and tea old chap”…
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Oops … I stand corrected … but being one who doesn’t know much about either (other than knowing they are different) … an easy mistake to make.
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I am very surprised that “I” know anything about it but my ex husband was a rugby fan so I know that there is a difference there and that soccer is just rugby for nancies 😉
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I have nothing, guess I am just not sports minded enough to understand the references.
Name my own holiday? How about: No Fox Day?
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Val,
There’s a holiday that I celebrate every day!
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Sports are fun to watch when there are more than one TV in the house! That way, should the sport being watched be of no interest to the other, they are not stuck…
Weird Goalkeeper suggests teammates stay healthy and frantically wave for some drugs in penalty box
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Dale,
My wife doesn’t understand that sometimes I like watching a game in which I have no interest in who wins. Meanwhile, we both know that goalies can be a bit quirky.
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😉
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Good to see my AFA blog favorites starting to come back. None of the Satirical Headlines came near my face today, but my soccer friends might have been grazed by “Man watching World Cup thought he would have seen more bicycle kicks by now.”
Thanks for getting me online to see what your “Hats Off to the Women of CNN Day” was all about.
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Tim,
The sports collection was a bit quirky, but that’s OK. Meanwhile, I look forward to your language demo later today.
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I declare Thursday to be – Practice to make sure you get it right rather than winging it later day.
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Vanessa,
Perfect timing because I’m in the midst of getting my taxes clarified.
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I think there should be a Great Blue Heron Day. My week is really busy so far. Would love to do your Combo challenge, but time doesn’t permit. Loved yours though. I definitely couldn’t better it.:)
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Sylvia,
Great Blue Heron Day it is … and I imagine you have seen them today. Meanwhile, some have the knack of quickly putting together a Combo Challenge, but not the majority – including me.
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I can’t do it when I have a myriad other things on my mind. 😕
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True for me as well.
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Hi Frank. Here’s a feeble attempt on a topic which is completely unknown to me! [you wouldn’t have guessed, would you?] 😉
Exhausted Goalkeeper kicks hockey jersey and cyclists for watching World Cup.
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Marina,
Can’t blame the goalkeeper because all they want is other to focus!
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Hrm, how about “Stay Confident” Day. Not sure if that’s a good one, but that’s what I tell myself everyday. Great post my friend.
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Kay,
Stay Confident Day works because it’s Name Your Own Holiday Day.
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World cup goalkeeper blasts majority of graduates during Tour de France.
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Catherine,
Goalkeepers are in a world all to their own.
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Invent your own day eh Mr Frank, well the mind boggles really. How about “Three cheers for obsolete clauses Day” or “Bring it ON Day” or “Social media free day” or “Bite me, I parked here first Day”? I brainstormed the billions of word combinations around for about 20 seconds and in the end I settled for “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Day”. I feel it is suitably optimistic whilst maintaining a kind of aloof smugness that occurs when a word knows that just about everyone is going to have to go to Google to look up how to spell it (as I did, thus I am NOT one of the “in” group when it comes to spelling 😉 ).
Here’s my combo suggestion
“Man watching World Cup blasts six baseballs after tasting Subway for the first time. Apoligises to entire nation.”
Have a great rest of your week Mr and Mrs Frank and keep up those dancing feet. You are foxtrotting for us all 🙂
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Narf,
We are happy to dance our share for you and the others here. Meanwhile, Man watching the World Cup in the presence of baseballs obviously has issues.
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It would appear he was a baseballer masquerading as a soccer lover eh? 😉
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The most reasonable explanation yet!
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Amnesty International asks Michael Phelps to swallow up to six baseballs.
For Thursday, March 26th, I go with your own selection of “Cloud of Distraught” Day. (You thought I had forgotten.) Cloud of Distraught Day could reappear on April 15th as well.
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Mudge,
Cloud of Distraught Day works … and perfect for you any day. Meanwhile, that a reasonable request for AI … then again, others may say how dare they!
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Entire nation exhausted after tasting hockey jersey.
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Resa,
Oh no … the jerseys must have been after a game.
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Yes… that mellow flavor! “lol”
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Have a wonderful rest of the week Frank!!
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Mary,
Thank you and cheers to your rest of the week.
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Thursday should be: “Take a Dizzy Blonde to Dinner Day.” No shameless self-interest involved, just a random idea…
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Lorna,
That’s a good one, but I know it has nothing to do with self-interest.
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You’re so smart and perceptive!
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