How’s your week so far? I’ve been using mine to make up for lost time while trying to balance life.
The rain stayed away long enough for me to go into the city for the Opening Day parade. Wow … a lot of people missed work on Monday. The city was buzzing, and the day ended with a dramatic Reds win.
By not posting Tuesday, I was able to get back to visiting. Therefore, I will not post tomorrow, thus Opinions in the Shorts will be the next post.
On to your midweek satire from The Onion. Any favorites below? As with most collections like this, there’s always the Combo Challenge to spark your neurons. For those needing an introduction, create your own satirical headline by using the words (and only those words) that are in the headlines below the image. My Combo is at the end.
Have a good rest of the week.
Band dreams of one day becoming popular enough to alienate early fans
All cheapest items on wedding registry already purchased
Woman transitioning from being terrified of getting pregnant to being terrified she can’t get pregnant
Navy forms elite SEAL Team to write best-selling tell-all books
Study: Beginning email with short, disingenuous inquiry into personal life best way to network
Scientists require $10 million grant to melt stuff
CIA admits role in 1985 coup to oust David Lee Roth
Consumer entering that awkward age between target demographics
Nation doesn’t know if it can take another bullshit speech about healing
Father-in-law think thank issues one-sentence solution to immigration, unemployment, and crime problems
My Combo: Woman dreams of cheapest way to get David Lee Roth pregnant