On Satire Bits: Vol. 127

How’s your week so far? I’ve been using mine to make up for lost time while trying to balance life.

The rain stayed away long enough for me to go into the city for the Opening Day parade. Wow … a lot of people missed work on Monday. The city was buzzing, and the day ended with a dramatic Reds win.

By not posting Tuesday, I was able to get back to visiting. Therefore, I will not post tomorrow, thus Opinions in the Shorts will be the next post.

On to your midweek satire from The Onion. Any favorites below? As with most collections like this, there’s always the Combo Challenge to spark your neurons. For those needing an introduction, create your own satirical headline by using the words (and only those words) that are in the headlines below the image. My Combo is at the end.

Have a good rest of the week.

Embed from Getty Images

Band dreams of one day becoming popular enough to alienate early fans

All cheapest items on wedding registry already purchased

Woman transitioning from being terrified of getting pregnant to being terrified she can’t get pregnant

Navy forms elite SEAL Team to write best-selling tell-all books

Study: Beginning email with short, disingenuous inquiry into personal life best way to network

Scientists require $10 million grant to melt stuff

CIA admits role in 1985 coup to oust David Lee Roth

Consumer entering that awkward age between target demographics

Nation doesn’t know if it can take another bullshit speech about healing

Father-in-law think thank issues one-sentence solution to immigration, unemployment, and crime problems

My Combo: Woman dreams of cheapest way to get David Lee Roth pregnant

67 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 127

  1. So far – so good. And – with it being a work from home week for me & taking half day off work tomorrow – I think (& hope) that it’ll will continue to be a good one.
    Looks like your Reds & my Red Sox are off to a good start. I know – long season ahead. But – gotta’ keep the faith! πŸ˜‰

    LOL on your combo.
    Here’s mine: Woman to write best-selling tell-all books about her personal life with David Lee Roth.


  2. Here’s a couple of combos for ya. One of them is true, can you guess which one?

    “Father-in-law transitioning from being Woman terrified of becoming pregnant”

    “CIA dreams of being popular one day”


  3. Overall, one of your best lists, with many interesting subjects catching me in the face. For Number one, I’ll go with “All cheapest items on wedding registry already purchased” and for Number two, “Consumer entering that awkward age between target demographics.”


  4. Good morning Frank! Glad your team won! I’ll be at our opening day game this Friday – Go Tribe! I have a very busy week work wise, but I guess that’s good to keep my mind off missing my son. Here’s my combo…Woman transitioning from being terrified of getting pregnant entering that awkward age between dreams, wedding, and bullshit. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kelly,
      A good Wednesday morning to you in the northern part of our state. I know Cleveland has a streak of opening day sellouts, so you must have planned on attending for some time. Have you attended other openers? In terms of your combo, that seems like reality to me. πŸ™‚ … then again,, good satire seems real.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’ve been to openers in the past, but this year we were invited by friends who had tickets that include lunch first at The House of Blues. We’ve got the Rock Hall inductions coming up as well – seeing Green Day with my son when he returns (it’s a total surprise for him.) Glad you liked my satire πŸ™‚


  5. Hi Frank.. My Week has been fabulous so far.. I had my Granddaughter stop for two days… and we had her learning to ride her bike. ( she is 4 ) and the weather has been Brilliant.. So the garden, allotments also got some attention..
    Just resting my back now as I over did the weeding this morning..
    Have a wonderful week.. and yes sometimes life is a balancing act.. All good fun though.. Nice to know all is well and Big hugs your way..
    Sue x


    • Sue,
      Cheers to having your granddaughter for a few days. I’m guessing she kept you moving. Could she be a future gardener? This tis the season, so I’m sure the garden is getting much of your attention.


    • Kay,
      Somehow, you picking the wedding registry headline is not a surprise to me. Meanwhile,an Opening Day win is always a good thing … especially here where Opening Day is a big deal. But as I say, you can’t win the second game without winning the first.


  6. So good Frank! On my way to studio – can’t wait to get into my paints. First rose opened during the middle of the night, with many more to follow – this is my favorite time of year. Have a lovely rest of the week, go Reds!


  7. I am down with the frog Mr Frank. I have just about finished making a shawl for my sister who turns 50 this month. I had to learn a lot of skills in the making of it. Not sure who is getting the better deal. My sister who gets the shawl or me, who got the skills ;). Here’s my attempt…

    “Father-in-law beginning email with another bullshit speech about getting pregnant. Scientists require women transitioning to oust David Lee Roth.”


    • Narf,
      What do scientists have against David Lee Roth?

      Cheers to your shawl effort for your sister … and as you mentioned, you picked up a couple of techniques along the way. I imagine Ms. Pauline will be requesting one. πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  8. So pleased to hear that you were able to enjoy Monday’s Opening Day festivities! The Dodger’s did well, too! Here’s my Onion mash-up:

    Woman doesn’t know father-in-law already beginning awkward inquiry about personal life. πŸ™‚


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