How’s your week so far? I’ve been using mine to make up for lost time while trying to balance life.
The rain stayed away long enough for me to go into the city for the Opening Day parade. Wow … a lot of people missed work on Monday. The city was buzzing, and the day ended with a dramatic Reds win.
By not posting Tuesday, I was able to get back to visiting. Therefore, I will not post tomorrow, thus Opinions in the Shorts will be the next post.
On to your midweek satire from The Onion. Any favorites below? As with most collections like this, there’s always the Combo Challenge to spark your neurons. For those needing an introduction, create your own satirical headline by using the words (and only those words) that are in the headlines below the image. My Combo is at the end.
Have a good rest of the week.
Embed from Getty ImagesBand dreams of one day becoming popular enough to alienate early fans
All cheapest items on wedding registry already purchased
Woman transitioning from being terrified of getting pregnant to being terrified she can’t get pregnant
Navy forms elite SEAL Team to write best-selling tell-all books
Study: Beginning email with short, disingenuous inquiry into personal life best way to network
Scientists require $10 million grant to melt stuff
CIA admits role in 1985 coup to oust David Lee Roth
Consumer entering that awkward age between target demographics
Nation doesn’t know if it can take another bullshit speech about healing
Father-in-law think thank issues one-sentence solution to immigration, unemployment, and crime problems
My Combo: Woman dreams of cheapest way to get David Lee Roth pregnant
A Frank Angle 
“Scientists study if David Lee Roth can melt.”—My money says yes.
Love your combo!
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Carrie,
I’m wondering if being pickled influences melting.
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Ha! It might very well do so.
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I feel like my brain isn’t working, Frank. Here goes: CIA admits role in bullshit speech about healing and melting stuff. Ok, I cheated a little. 🙂
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Amy,
I commend any effort with a frazzled brain! … and yes … I spotted the -ing addition. 😉 Good job at getting the CIA to admit something!
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Seal Team issues awkward email to David Lee Roth to know if woman can alienate CIA
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Dale,
I can see numerous links between CIA and Seal Team, but via David Lee Roth is unexpected.
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I should think so 😉 Apparently the man can no longer sing, maybe he’s forgotten the words to his songs because he is too busy working undercover!
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… .then again, maybe the CIA brainwashed him …. and Good Morning, Ms. Dale.
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Ha ha! Maybe at that! A good morning to you, Sir Frank!
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I’m guessing you didn’t sleep well … thus a the Costco reminder.
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What makes you think I didn’t sleep well? I’m up and at ’em at 6:30, make the boys their lunches then off to the gym by 7:30; now it’s breakfast time before Zeke gets his walk. The lady is on a mission! But, other than the dog waking me up at 3:00 for God only knows what reason, I did sleep well!
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Cheers to you sleeping well. The comment is based on your previous comments about generally not sleeping well. Oh well … on with your mission for the day. 🙂
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Ahhhh.
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See … I had my reasons.
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Bullshit speech between scientists and CIA require tell-all inquiry.
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ohh! Good one!
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Raye,
I’m wondering which group got the other group to talk.
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Scientists think bullshit best solution to awkward inquiry.
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Cynthia,
That’s real!!!!! … .thus not satire. 😉
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So far – so good. And – with it being a work from home week for me & taking half day off work tomorrow – I think (& hope) that it’ll will continue to be a good one.
Looks like your Reds & my Red Sox are off to a good start. I know – long season ahead. But – gotta’ keep the faith! 😉
LOL on your combo.
Here’s mine: Woman to write best-selling tell-all books about her personal life with David Lee Roth.
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RoSy,
Chance of our teams going undefeated is still possible. Well now, readers will eagerly await the release of any steamy, tell-all book!
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Here’s a couple of combos for ya. One of them is true, can you guess which one?
“Father-in-law transitioning from being Woman terrified of becoming pregnant”
“CIA dreams of being popular one day”
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CIA issues tell-all book about nation’s personal life.
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X,
Given all the information, I wonder how many volumes will be in the series.
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About 315 million, according to the latest census.
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Overall, one of your best lists, with many interesting subjects catching me in the face. For Number one, I’ll go with “All cheapest items on wedding registry already purchased” and for Number two, “Consumer entering that awkward age between target demographics.”
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Tim,
It’s always interesting to be judged by the moving target known as the in-your-face scale.
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Good morning Frank! Glad your team won! I’ll be at our opening day game this Friday – Go Tribe! I have a very busy week work wise, but I guess that’s good to keep my mind off missing my son. Here’s my combo…Woman transitioning from being terrified of getting pregnant entering that awkward age between dreams, wedding, and bullshit. 🙂
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Kelly,
A good Wednesday morning to you in the northern part of our state. I know Cleveland has a streak of opening day sellouts, so you must have planned on attending for some time. Have you attended other openers? In terms of your combo, that seems like reality to me. 🙂 … then again,, good satire seems real.
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I’ve been to openers in the past, but this year we were invited by friends who had tickets that include lunch first at The House of Blues. We’ve got the Rock Hall inductions coming up as well – seeing Green Day with my son when he returns (it’s a total surprise for him.) Glad you liked my satire 🙂
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Sounds like a good day, so now we hope for good weather! … and Induction Day sounds like fun, too!
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Yes so ready for nice weather! Usually we’re somewhere warm for spring break, but with both kids at private schools, and THEIR own spring break trips this year, it’s not in the cards. But we did buy a new grill last night – after much research, the Weber Genesis won. Hope you have a good rest of your week!
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Hooray for the new grill …. and the upcoming first grilling!
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Oh lord. Baseball. Was that one of the Onion choices? 😉
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Elyse,
Baseball … the season that you love … and with high expectations for the Nats, John is excited and ready not to miss a pitch … which means more blogging time for you.
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“Nation doesn’t know if scientists require cheapest personal items to melt disingenuous CIA crime stuff.”
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Sylvia,
Thanks for confirming two points … a disingenuous CIA and an unknowing nation.
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Hehehe. 🙂
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Oh….forgot to say that I absolutely love your combo. 😆
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🙂
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Hi Frank.. My Week has been fabulous so far.. I had my Granddaughter stop for two days… and we had her learning to ride her bike. ( she is 4 ) and the weather has been Brilliant.. So the garden, allotments also got some attention..
Just resting my back now as I over did the weeding this morning..
Have a wonderful week.. and yes sometimes life is a balancing act.. All good fun though.. Nice to know all is well and Big hugs your way..
Sue x
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Sue,
Cheers to having your granddaughter for a few days. I’m guessing she kept you moving. Could she be a future gardener? This tis the season, so I’m sure the garden is getting much of your attention.
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The cheapest items on a wedding registry is always taken lol. You gotta be quick with that lol. And I already know you’re excited about your team winning ;).
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Kay,
Somehow, you picking the wedding registry headline is not a surprise to me. Meanwhile,an Opening Day win is always a good thing … especially here where Opening Day is a big deal. But as I say, you can’t win the second game without winning the first.
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Father-in-law think tank doesn’t know if it can take another bull-shit speech about target demographics…
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Cathy,
A father-in-law think tank may be similar to the Illuminati.
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So good Frank! On my way to studio – can’t wait to get into my paints. First rose opened during the middle of the night, with many more to follow – this is my favorite time of year. Have a lovely rest of the week, go Reds!
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Mary,
I’ve got the feeling that the first blooming rose of the season may be an inspiration with the paints. 🙂
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So darn pretty Frank, but as luck would have it the rose is way down within the bush – several more and starting to open so I’ll definitely have a photograph or two.
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Love the frog. Here’s my combo: Awkward navy SEAL team target CIA bullshit.
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LB,
Navy Seal team going after the CIA isn’t satire … it’s wishful thinking. 😉
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I am down with the frog Mr Frank. I have just about finished making a shawl for my sister who turns 50 this month. I had to learn a lot of skills in the making of it. Not sure who is getting the better deal. My sister who gets the shawl or me, who got the skills ;). Here’s my attempt…
“Father-in-law beginning email with another bullshit speech about getting pregnant. Scientists require women transitioning to oust David Lee Roth.”
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Narf,
What do scientists have against David Lee Roth?
Cheers to your shawl effort for your sister … and as you mentioned, you picked up a couple of techniques along the way. I imagine Ms. Pauline will be requesting one. 😉
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CIA admits transitioning $10 million grant to bullshit.
Actually, that may be true…
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Mudge,
Link to reality is one aspect of good satire … well, at least to me.
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Scientists beginning to think best bullshit in best-selling tell-all books. 🙂
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Lorna,
Nothing like a good book of tell-all bullshit.
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Guaranteed best-seller!
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Band dreams of one day becoming popular enough to alienate David Lee Roth.
Loved your combo and the frog.
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Val,
Whew … vengeance on David Lee Roth continues. 🙂
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It seems so, can you imagine if it had been someone of more ‘stature’. Poor David.
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Each week, I never know who takes the brunt of the challenges.
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Baseball, hoo ha !
If I were an onion, then again not. I just can’t choose.
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Calvin,
Oh that’s right … you follow the Blue Jays. … and I imagine your expectations are high this year!
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So pleased to hear that you were able to enjoy Monday’s Opening Day festivities! The Dodger’s did well, too! Here’s my Onion mash-up:
Woman doesn’t know father-in-law already beginning awkward inquiry about personal life. 🙂
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Debra,
Dang that father-in-law … he’s nosy and she doesn’t know!
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