On Satire Bits: Vol. 129

Hey there? How’s your week going?

Mine has been OK to this point with some errands, visits, phone calls, etc. I cram those into the first part of the week because my part-time job occupies the end of the week. It’s another week without a golf league – but the season is early, so I’m hopeful that some opportunities will become available.

Several times I’ve mentioned that my wife and I are in a Quickstep formation at a local studio. So far, it has been quite the torture for numerous reasons, but we’re trying. Many readers probably do not know much about the dance, so the next post will be about Quickstep.

On to the mid-week satire from The Onion with hopes of delivering a chuckle. Don’t forget the Combo Challenge, which gives you a chance to make your own satirical headline. All you have to do is limit yourself to the world that are in the headlines below the picture. My Combo is at the end.

Any favorites? Have a good rest of the week.

Embed from Getty Images

Scout returns with news from quicker checkout line to the east

Study finds employees most productive they set their own salaries

Area man could have made same meal at home but worse

US Government offers 100 million Americans generous severance deal to leave country

Report: Reuben rated top mid-size sandwich in its class

Woman’s parents accepting of mixed-attractiveness relationship

Report: Mom has plans for tub of whipped cream in fridge – don’t eat it!

Area man only one with problems

Man looks on helplessly as friend tells him story he’s already heard

Mankind tired of having to remind itself of good in the world

Condo board maintains purity of bloodline through generations of intermarriage

My Combo: Rueben looks helplessly at woman’s generous offer to eat whipped cream from mid-size area on man

48 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 129

  1. Mom maintains mixed attractiveness good in the relationship world through generations of intermarriage.

    I’ve been suffering with blocked ears for ten days and finally caved today and sought professional help. International travel not good for ears!!


  2. Chuckling … I like – Man looks on helplessly as friend tells him story he’s already heard –
    unfortunately, I have a friend – she’s in her late 80’s – she tends to tell me stories I’ve heard a gazillion times. I don’t have the heart to tell her. 😳 It’s kinda sad but she’s a sweetheart otherwise.
    Have a Great Day aFrank !!! 😎

    Liked by 1 person

  3. No face hitters among the Onions today, but “Scout returns with news from quicker checkout line to the east” produced a slight breeze.

    After watching the Quickstep Dance video I sent you, I’m thinking the devil is in the details of that one (quick) step.

    As a man also without a golf league, tomorrow I start my new life as an itinerant golf league sub.


    • Tim,
      Regarding Quickstep, their are different styles/versions, thus tomorrow will counter the video you sent.

      In terms of the Thursday golf, I may be able to occasionally join, but not until June.


      • Itinerant Golf League Substitutes live a shadowy existence in which they cannot join, win prizes, or permanently have their name listed on the scorecard. They live only to post a score in place of the absent league member, which will then be factored into the league’s final tally at the end of the season.


  4. My creative imagination has flown out the window this morning, I have nothing. My favorite though is your combination, very nice. Hmmmm.

    Can’t wait to hear about quickstep and am hoping it is accompanied by video!


  5. Endless challenges here. Trying to catch up – what a week. The German arrived with crummy tummy (running every test under the sun except scope, waiting for results) and Molly, we almost lost her this morning (today’s post up now). So the grins from your posts are very much welcomed and cheery. Thanks


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