Greetings from San Diego … oops … I mean Cincinnati … but our current weather is fabulous! I spent the day on the golf course, but the weather and company was better than the golf. Oh well, that’s the way the game is.
Thanks for the positive reaction about the previous post about Martha. I enjoyed putting that one together, and the variety of emotions surprised me. As I mentioned to some in the comments, my intent was around a tribute – not sadness. Nonetheless, I’m glad to know that some were touched by the post.
Below the image are the headlines from The Onion for your mid-week bump in satire. Any favorites? Don’t forget the Combo Challenge by making your own headline from the words in the headlines below. My Combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.
Embed from Getty ImagesMother still searching for pre-school that focuses exclusively on her son
Email from Mom sent at 5:32 am
Man now too exhausted to repress both anger and sadness
Majority of Americans never use Physical Education after high school
Night of uninterrupted deep sleep really throws man’s day off
Breakthrough procedure allows parents to select sexiness of child
Trip to bar gives friends opportunity to sit around, do nothing in different place
Avoiding popular songs somehow accomplishment for local man
Study: Majority of frontal lobe occupied by thoughts of sausage links
Man on gurney has brief word with protagonist before entering ambulance
Apartment manager already knows to look out for tenant sending Minnie Mouse checks
Hollywood quietly shuts down after realizing entertainment a delicate matter of subjective opinion
My Combo: Man on gurney exhausted after searching for uninterrupted sausage links
“Majority of Americans select sausage links for sexiness.”—I think we choose our produce that way too.
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I will never forget the scene in Animal House with the cucumbers …
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I’d forgotten that scene, but I just googled it. Nothing like showing your cucumber to the dean’s wife!
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Oh … this one? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9ZjOCSLYlc
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Yup. That one!
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Carrie,
It appears many American grocery shoppers are seeking consistency.
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Majority of Americans Avoiding popular songs before sending Minnie Mouse checks.
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Elyse,
What people won’t do to avoid payments.
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Study links sexiness to delicate use of Minnie Mouse procedure.
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Cynthia,
The vanity of some people leads them to improve their sexiness at any cost.
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Man exhausted by sexiness of sausage links.
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X,
I wonder the cause is linked to sausages relationship with bacon.
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Breakthrough frontal lobe procedure allows exhausted Man to sleep Avoiding thoughts of searching for sausage
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Fasab,
This could be the first step of a similar procedure for bacon.
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Night of uninterrupted deep sleep throws email from mom sent at 5:32 am. Glad to hear you had a chance to visit San Diego. Oops, I mean glad you have some fabulous weather. I’m sure that helps you feel better about your golf score. Who cares, right? Enjoy!
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Amy,
Absolutely correct as the wonderful weather made for a great day on the course, even with the mediocre golf. Meanwhile, uninterrupted sleep has many odd effects.
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I wouldn’t know about uninterrupted sleep, Frank…I haven’t had it in eons!
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Breakthrough Study: Email from Mom focuses anger for local man.
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Patti,
Oh no … Aren’t moms supposed to be more encouraging?!!!
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Man now too exhausted by thoughts of sausage links, a delicate matter of subjective opinion. Weather has been wonderful here as well! Planning on a little golf myself over the weekend 🙂
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Kelly,
Exhaustion must also be making the man delusional. …. Hope you get some golf in this weekend!
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Me too! Between 2 grad ceremonies and hopefully Cedar Point!
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OH my … you will be busy!
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I think we’re supposed to get some nice weather here, too. We’ve had some warm and humid days, but fortunately my husband’s golf tournaments were not delayed or rained out. (He coaches high school golf–his last year doing it.)
“Study: Majority of frontal lobe occupied by Avoiding popular songs”
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Merril,
I imagine the the good weather arrives at your place today … so enjoy! … and cheers to your husband coaching HS golf! Meanwhile, given the frontal lobe’s capacity, that’s a lot of avoidance.
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🙂
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Email from mom parents allows uninterrupted thoughts of sausage links.
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Catherine,
Just another example how moms are always willing to help.
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Majority of Americans never use frontal lobe.
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Cathy,
… and that explains a lot!
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No face washings from today’s Onions.
I’m in total agreement on the delightful golfing weather and company yesterday.
Any advice on how I can improve my short game?
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Tim,
In terms of your short game, play weekly (at least) at GE. … and in your rush to hit the links, it appears you forgot Martha.
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Man now too exhausted after night of uninterrupted frontal sexiness.
(I was going to bring Minnie Mouse into this one but I thought that might be a step too far for this family-friendly blog!).
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Vanessa,
Oh my … Minnie’s naughty side must be unbelievable!
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Exhausted mother shuts down after frontal lobe thoughts never gives friends deep sleep opportunity.
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John,
Interesting mind meld going one as one is exhausted but the friend never sleeps.
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Majority of frontal lobe occupied by a delicate matter of subjective opinion.
Good for you on your brilliant weather and recognizing the game of golf is about friends and fun.
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Val,
Believe me …golfers want to play well – but on this day, the television cameras wouldn’t have gotten much footage for the sports highlights.
Because subjective opinion is delicate matter for the frontal lobe, I wonder about non-subjective opinions.
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Friends still around to select sausage for Hollywood high school entertainment.
Your weather sounds delightful! I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. 🙂
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Debra,
Weather is more of the same today … that will be 3 in a row … and a tad cooler than San Diego! … but delightful. Meanwhile, i would like a crystal ball to see what sausage the last survivor of the friends group will select.
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Hollywood protagonist trip to bar gives parents opportunity to repress anger after frontal lobe occupied by Minnie Mouse.
Happy sunny Thursday, Frank!!!! 🙂
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Marina,
So Minnie Mouse in the front lobe causes anger … who would have thunk it. … thus a reason to drink.
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😉
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Email from Mom focuses exclusively on sexiness of son. Child quietly shuts down before entering ambulance.
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Lorna,
Just another Mom focusing on her son.
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As we are so apt to do…
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