Hope you had a good weekend. What did you do? Besides time on the ballroom floor, we saw a good play (Native Garden) while ushering at the Playhouse in the Park, plus went the movie Brooklyn. (Thumbs up!) It’s abnormally warm in Cincinnati for January, so we also took several walks. Also worked on an interesting project in our home. Should be interesting if you can accomplish it.
Email is a wonderful thing. On the other hand, I get more spam email that the post office ever thought of delivering to one person.
This post is a combo-style marketing challenge. Below is a list of email subject lines I’ve spotted in my Inbox. Use the words in the lines below to develop your own subject line for spam email that emphasizes marketing. Good luck!
Buy burial insurance online
Watch anything and everything with cable TV
Find your wife in China now
Lower your funeral payments
Crazy engineer humiliates energy fat cats
You may qualify for dental implants
My ex is a whore
The exact way James grew by 2.7 inches
You qualify for a new mattress
Yummy food quickly to your door
Get tips on what is hot in penny stocks
Grant funding to those who qualify
Connect with singles today
Personable checking accounts with desirable perks
Solar power your home at no cost
Something important is going to happen in your life
Burn fat without the exercise
Hot Border Sex
My Combo: Exercise with crazy, hot whore for funeral tips
A Frank Angle 
What a fun way to deal with spam-line intrusions! My suggestion is YOU QUALIFY FOR HOT BORDER SEX AT NO COST! My day has been nice and leisurely. It is raining here in drought-stricken Bakersfield, CA–and has been all day with the promise of snow at higher elevations. I have been warm and snuggly inside listening to the rain and reading a murder mystery. Later I might binge watch a couple episodes of Downton Abbey.
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Patti,
Your state could use a good dose of rain … especially a long, steady rain (as opposed to the downpours). Higher elevation snows are always good too. Good luck!
Ah ha … another Downton Abbyey fan is identified (my wife watches). … and many thanks for the marketing combo. That’s definitely a tempting attention getter. … and thanks for sharing a bit of your weekend.
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You do get interesting spam Frank! Mine is very boring in comparison – just invitations to ‘Marry a Hot Genuine Russian Lady’ or buy Viagra – neither of which hold any really appeal!
My attempt: Buy funeral engineer, qualify quickly for grant funding.
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Pauline,
Some suggest strengthening the filters … and miss all this!!! Lately I’ve been receiving numerous emails offering to show me a lot of different things. Meanwhile, grant funding was on my mind, but ended up going in a different direction. Because a funeral engineer is new to me, this has to be a cheaper way to a funeral.
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I had visions of one of those old train engines and a man with a shovel ……….
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Solar power your dental implants to watch everything without cable TV!
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X,
Woo hoo … This is a marketing marvel!
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My kid was sick! Weekend flew by. Computer is sick, too, and in the shop! Are you ready for Iowa? I hope you’re enjoying your lovely weather, Frank. It rained here, but I’m not complaining.
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Amy,
Cheers to your rain!!!! … Hope your son gets well soon and your computer returns from sickbay better than ever!
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PS: I forgot to respond about Iowa. It is so interesting that so much time, effort, and money is spent on a such a small percentage of delegates. Besides, it’s not winner take all. Then again, the media is also feeding the frenzy … plus the candidates want a quick start out of the gate (although some are focusing on New Hampshire). I’m looking forward to Iowa being over, thus get the voting underway.
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They make such a huge deal about it. Almost over now! I guess a big voter turnout. We soon shall see, Frank.
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The big deal comes from being the first caucus … and New Hampshire being the first primary, I stand by my thought that March 1st is the key date for Republicans, and March 15th is key for the Democrats.
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Good guideline, Frank. Thanks for the tip!
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Happy February, week and Monday, Frank! Brilliant way to use spam!
“Important! Solar energy cats qualify for penny implants and a new mattress with desirable perks.” 🙂
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Marina,
Happy February to you … which also means an upcoming post with a new design to feature (which I look forward to seeing). I think your combo helps explain why cats like to sleep on the mattress in sun. Mine even moved on the mattress as the sun moved!
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😀 !!!!!!!!!!!!
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As you know I don’t do combos, but I found charming “Yummy food quickly to your door.”
Also glad you saw the movie “Brooklyn” which I liked especially for the lovely variety of Irish brogues.
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Tim,
You were one of several recommendations we got about the movie. Many thanks.
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I can’t top List of X with his “Solar power your dental implants to watch everything without cable TV!”, so won’t even try! But I did notice a significant thing about your subject lines: The absence of the word free. My, my, how did that happen? 😉
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Jim,
Absence of “free” is huge … great catch. Meanwhile, X’s combo is high caliber, so I understand your angst.
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Here’s a quick response using email titles here in the inbox:
Popular in your network, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar tweeted: :Nordstrom reviews A Frank Angle, Goldenvoice.”
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Bruce,
Oh my … using your own Spam mail is a creative response. Plus, this post got you to look at it!
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“The exact way to exercise fat cats in China.”—Well, I for one would like to know.
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Carrie,
The first time, I read it as the felines … ooops … definitely not it, and Chinese fat cats are probably on Easy Street.
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I haven’t got my own combo (there’s too much noise around me right now and I need silence to be creative!), but the one that made me laugh for some reason was “You qualify for a new mattress” – I didn’t know you needed to qualify in any way to get a new mattress! if it had the word “free” in there it would make sense, but without it, not so much.
I had a good weekend, on Friday evening I went to London to meet a few old school friends for drinks and dinner in Chinatown – we suddenly felt quite old when we realised that next year it will be 30 years since we left school! Then on Saturday I was being MC at a poetry recital regional final contest for schools, that was good fun. The rest of the weekend was mostly just driving my kids around various places!
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Vanessa,
Great point about qualifications regarding the mattress. As a matter of fact, a new one is on our radar.
Thanks for sharing your weekend. So the thought of a 30-year reunion is creating a bit of angst. Ahh … no problem as you are a young pup. 2016 will be the 45th for me. … You had quite the variety for the weekend. Good for you!
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My head just spins with these email subjects. I couldn’t even think of any combos because they’re so off the wall. They are extreme, at least from my experience. We had a very busy weekend hosting an anniversary party for my parents–their 65th! Rather amazing and wonderful! All is well, but I’m at work today so that I can rest. LOL!
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Debra,
Finding the off-the-wall subject lines is one of the reasons I like to check the Spam folder in my email. I’m always able to find a laugh.
65th anniversary for your parents? WOW!!!! … All the best to them from me … and cheers to you hosting.
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Hi Frank–a timely post as I’m trying to get through all my email. (Fortunately, not much spam).
I liked the movie, “Brooklyn,” too.
“Watch anything with solar power, and qualify for a new mattress!” 🙂
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Merrill,
I’m trying to think if you previously recommended Brooklyn to me … (I can’t recall) … The lady who played the lead delivered a wonderful performance. Meanwhile, a good marketing line involves incentive, and you hit it!
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I don’t remember if I recommended Brooklyn to you or not. I mentioned it in this post: https://merrildsmith.wordpress.com/2015/12/31/ringing-out-the-year-going-to-the-movies-with-the-smiths-redux/ There are so many movies I want to see. We’re trying to figure out how to squeeze them in. 🙂
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Ah ha … given that I read and commented on that post, you are on the official list of recommendations.
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🙂
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A funeral to your door without burial
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John,
Now that’s service!!!!!
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But what happened to the body?
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I think you have something for your next novel.
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Ha ha ha
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“Personal hot sex with desirable perks at no cost.” That should get them calling. 🙂
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Sylvia,
Free hot sex with perks? Where’s that phone number?
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😠
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Lol…you must be living a very interesting life these days, Frank.
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George,
Entertaining in the fast lane by reading Spam email. Woo hoo! Parrrrrrty!
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I am simply giggling, you have some twisted friends here Frank. You also have twisted spammers.
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Val,
Creating giggles is a good thing, so I’m glad this post came through.
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Sounds like a good weekend, Frank. Spam cracks me up. Sometimes, if I want a good laugh, I read some of it (the stuff in my blog spam filter, not my email because I don’t want to open anything in email that I identify as spam).
My combo: Grant funding to those who qualify for hot border sex.
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Robin,
99% of the time, I stick to reading the subject lines in the Spam email folder. Once in a while I open one because I’m not sure if its spam or not. Meanwhile, that sounds like a grant winner to me!
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Is the Onion spamming you, Frank?
I had a great weekend. I went to a birthday part for poet Robert Burns and ate haggis. many folks wouldn’t consider that to make up a good weekend, but there you have it!
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Elyse,
Oh no … not Onion spam, but the Spam folder does provide entertainment. A bit of haggis is fitting for the occasion. Did the honored guest appear?
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No. But there were bagpipes and drums (which delighted the neighbors, no doubt). And lots of kilts! If Bobby Burns had shown up, it would have been pretty gross. He’s been dead for what 200 years?
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I’m sure the sounds of the pipes and drums were a delight to neighbors. Too bad the honoree was a no-show.
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Qualify for hot yummy burial sex with new Checking accounts in China today.
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Resa,
Yummy burial sex is an intriguing thought that may influence believe in the after life.
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Who ya got this Sunday? Or don’t you care?
“Crazy border sex to those who qualify”. I have a question about this….does a wall hinder or help the offer?
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Cayman,
Still suffering from the debacle, I’ve stayed away from the playoffs. However, I hope to watch Sunday. Carolina is the better team, … very good … but because I think Peyton will retire, I would like to see him go out on top.
Meanwhile, Dang … I think the wall would hinder that headline.
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I would like to see Peyton go out on top as well, but it’s gonna be a hard earned ride into the sunset if it happens.
I KNEW the wall was a horrible idea. Yet another reason not to vote for that guy with the big hair.
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i continue to say the big-hair guy won’t make it. Meanwhile, sure hope Peyton doesn’t go out on the losing end of a blowout.
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