On The Room

Embed from Getty Images

 

The moon is bright in the night sky while casting shadows into the room. A beam illuminates a floor vase containing several rose stems – yet the floor was open.

They lock eyes. He gives a slight nod and extends his hand as he hears the music. She glances down, then slowly raises her head displaying her coy face. She gently touches his hand. Without words, he slowly leads her to the floor.

They stop. Without connecting their eyes she accepts by moving closer to him. He gently embraces her and awaits the right beat while slowly lowering their joint grasp nearer to them.

He moves is a subtle way. She responds to the signals as a language. She moves her legs indicating her presence and interest.

He slowly walks. Their heads are close, but their eyes do not connect. She wants to see him, but her eyes remain closed. Without sight, she responds. Their legs touch; sometimes as a slow caress. Other times as a sharp flick. He gently guides her sleek frame to swivel – sometimes slow – other than quick.

Their arms and the embrace physically connect their bodies as one. The music connects their souls. Although their mental images are different, their thoughts are the same – yet they move as one.

Their embrace strengthens – but not physically. They transport each other. He continues leading to the rhythms and images in his mind. She responds with her desires.

He slows – leading to a gradual stop. The music ends. They pause.

The room is empty. There is no music. The moon shines on them casting a shadow of one onto the floor. They stare into each others eyes … and a rose blooms.

 

Full Disclosure: As the Categories in the sidebar indicates, writing fiction is not my forte. Once I saw this video, a story unfolded in my mind, which led to another meager attempt at fiction. Even though fiction is outside my comfort zone, I appreciate your feedback. For those who don’t know, the dance is Argentine Tango. Thanks for reading the 282-word story.

Advertisements

81 thoughts on “On The Room

    • Carrie,
      The video gave me the images, so I had to develop the words. The blooming flower was much earlier in the video, but I knew I wanted to use it. I didn’t create enough doubt … that is making the reader wonder if it was real or just an imaginary event in one of their minds.

      Like

  1. This is beautiful, Frank. I think you described the essence of the tango wonderfully. Your words painted the picture so well, I didn’t need the video (but did watch it anyway because I love the tango).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Greta,
      Welcome first-time commenter … but I know you’ve read some of the posts here. Posting this on Valentine’s Day was unplanned … glad I did, but it was a coincidence. I intentionally left out the laughing because I was going for a different ending … plus I was watching my word count. Nonetheless, glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  2. What a nice Valentine’s Day gift – and well done with your writing! (I especially liked that you waited to the end for the rose to bloom.)

    I must attend a Tango dance contest sometime. I like watching videos of Tango dancers, but I sense I’m missing a lot by not seeing the chemistry in person.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tim,
      The Valentine’s Day thing was an unplanned accident that turned into a good thing. When the story was revealing itself in my mind, I knew I had to use the blooming rose … then the idea came to use it at the end. Meanwhile, a tango contest would be interesting!

      Like

  3. Aahhh …. I have watched the video 5 times. I know it is a bit much but I can view that over and over. I wish the ending hadn’t been the same as the beginning but I’ll take it anyway.
    Your words captured the feel of the dance. The two dancers joining as one in an attempt to let their partner know, without words, their emotions. Beautifully written, aFrank. A masterful way to describe the passionate sentiment of the tango. BRAVO …!!!
    Isadora 😎

    p.s. – a tango dance for your wife today would be a perfect gift. I’m sure you’ve got the music ready for the surprise. Happy VAlentine’s Day to you and yours … ❀️ ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I guessed the tango by the third sentence, Frank! I think your vivid description brought the dance to life. I was also envious of the two people dancing together as I read your piece. I didn’t see the video until the end. Well done! I think when we write fiction, we have to let our inhibitions go and not worry about how good or bad it is. Just do it! πŸ’ƒπŸ»

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pam,
      Thanks for the encouragement, but wow – how did you guess Tango so soon? I will share a secret regarding the ending – it was subtle, but I hoped someone would wonder if they actually danced or was it just the imagination of one person. The fact that nobody did tells me my words just weren’t right for that.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. There was no doubt that the dance would be a tango. Your words brought the movements to life in a bold and sensual way. I just wanted know a little more of the mystery at the end. I had the feeling that it could have all just been a dream for either of them. Well done with the merger!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jo,
      OMG …. if you were here I would give you a big hug! You are the only person who caught that at the end because that was my intent … intending to wonder if it was real, a dream, or in a person’s imagination.

      Look at the timeline above … I replied to Lynn (just above you at 6:07 … you commented at 6:10 …. I replied to Pam at 6:18 … you need to read what I wrote to Pam. Thank you Jo!!!!! … You made my day!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. A few sentences into your short story, I knew it had to be an Argentine tango. I was fortunate to see a tango performance in Buenos Aires a number of years ago and found it spellbinding.

    Now for the bad news: You may have given me inspiration for a future episode of Fallen Arches; Novellas of Broken Romance.

    Like

  7. Very nice, Frank. I’m glad you pointed me in this direction. First, I love dancing! Any kind, but the Tango is so romantic and can say so much as you’ve proven with your story. As other writers have mentioned, a few tweaks and it would be fantastic. For a man who says he doesn’t write well, you did very well. πŸ˜‰

    I could feel what you were wanting to make your reader feel. And for any writer that’s something worthwhile.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jackie,
      Many thanks for the encouragement and kind words. When Coastal Crone (Jo) made a comment about the ending, I was leaping with joy because she is the only one of mentioned one of the things I was aiming for.

      Like

  8. Pingback: ODDS AND ENDS AND CHECKING IN | THE COASTAL CRONE

Comment with respect.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.