On Satire Bits: Vol. 133

Greetings from San Diego … oops … I mean Cincinnati … but our current weather is fabulous! I spent the day on the golf course, but the weather and company was better than the golf. Oh well, that’s the way the game is.

Thanks for the positive reaction about the previous post about Martha. I enjoyed putting that one together, and the variety of emotions surprised me. As I mentioned to some in the comments, my intent was around a tribute – not sadness. Nonetheless, I’m glad to know that some were touched by the post.

Below the image are the headlines from The Onion for your mid-week bump in satire. Any favorites? Don’t forget the Combo Challenge by making your own headline from the words in the headlines below. My Combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Mother still searching for pre-school that focuses exclusively on her son

Email from Mom sent at 5:32 am

Man now too exhausted to repress both anger and sadness

Majority of Americans never use Physical Education after high school

Night of uninterrupted deep sleep really throws man’s day off

Breakthrough procedure allows parents to select sexiness of child

Trip to bar gives friends opportunity to sit around, do nothing in different place

Avoiding popular songs somehow accomplishment for local man

Study: Majority of frontal lobe occupied by thoughts of sausage links

Man on gurney has brief word with protagonist before entering ambulance

Apartment manager already knows to look out for tenant sending Minnie Mouse checks

Hollywood quietly shuts down after realizing entertainment a delicate matter of subjective opinion

My Combo: Man on gurney exhausted after searching for uninterrupted sausage links

On a Martha

Sorry … not Martha Stewart, Martha Graham, Martha White, or Martha Raye. Nope … not Martha Reeves, Martha Plimpton, Martha Quinn, Martha Raddatz, Martha from the Bible. Not even Martha in another language as Marta, Martina, Martine, Martella, Maruska, Marte, or even just simply Marti. I know some are guessing Martha Washington, wife of the first US President – na-baby-na … but this Martha is named the First Lady.

Martha literally means lady, so yes, the name fits. Martha has a royal significance in Scandinavia, so royalty is a suitable adjective, but this Martha isn’t Scandinavian and possibly never visited that beautiful part of the world.

There isn’t consensus on or where Martha was born, but there is no doubt about when and where she died .. nor her significance. This post is about Martha – Ectopistes migratorius – a passenger pigeon.

Living in enormous colonies, passenger pigeons were the most common bird found in the US. Their migratory flocks could darken a sky, causing famous bird painter James Audubon wrote in 1813,

I observed the Pigeons flying from north-east to south-west, in greater numbers than I thought I had ever seen them before, and feeling an inclination to count the flocks that might pass within the reach of my eye in one hour, I dismounted, seated myself on an eminence, and began to mark with my pencil, making a dot for every flock that passed. In a short time finding the task which I had undertaken impracticable, as the birds pouted in   countless multitudes, I rose, and counting the dots then put down, found that 163 had been made in twenty-one minutes. I travelled on, and still met more the farther I proceeded. The air was literally filled with Pigeons; the light of noon-day was obscured as by an eclipse, the dung fell in spots, not unlike melting flakes of snow; and the continued buzz of wings had a tendency to lull my senses to repose. The Pigeons were still passing in undiminished numbers, and continued to do so for three days in succession.

Overhunting, habitat loss, and possibly diseases sharply decreased their population. By mid-1910, Martha was the only remain of her species – and living at the Cincinnati Zoo. At 1:00 pm on September 1, 1914, Martha died. Shortly thereafter, zoo workers packed her in a 300 pound (140 kg) block of ice for transportation to the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, DC.

Enter my ties to Martha. Although, I’ve seen her memorials on numerous occasions at the Cincinnati Zoo and Cincinnati Museum Center, in 2014 I posted this image of a mural in downtown Cincinnati. The mural is a project by ArtWorks, a non-profit organization with one aspect being providing murals as public art. (For the interested, here’s a short video about ArtWorks)

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Later, I discovered that the mural is based on a painting by a famous wildlife artist, John Ruthven. His style is not only similar to John Audubon’s, Ruthven’s world has also traveled the globe and is found in numerous museums. Currently at the age of 91, he still resides in the Cincinnati area. In 2013, Ruthven completed an acrylic painting – Martha: The Last Passenger Pigeon.

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In the summer 2013, ArtsWork transformed Ruthven’s painting into a very large mural. Enjoy the time-lapse as Martha flies again.

 

On a Lindy Monday

The weekend is over – but that’s not sad because there are days ahead leading to another weekend – and for we in the USA, next weekend has an extra day. How was your weekend? What did you do?

Ours included two nights of ballroom, errands, dinner with my father-in-law, dinner with friends, work, (while my wife attended a neighborhood car show).

Act 4 of Meals: The Musical provided bacon, barbecue, beef, burgers, cheeseburgers, chicken, chicken wings, hot dogs, meat, meatballs, pork, pork chops, ribs, steak, t-bone, and turkey while including sides as beans, carrots, mustard greens, and potatoes. Meanwhile, I’m researching the next act’s theme.

Celebrations for Your Week

(Week) New Friends – Old Friends Week, Bike to Work Week, Pickles Week, Safe Boating Week, Emergency Medical Services Week, Dog Bite Prevention Week, Medical Transcription Week, Stationery Week, Heritage Breeds Week, Trade Week, Backyard Games Week, Educational Bosses Week, Coaching Week, Healthy & Safe Swimming Week, Police Week

(Mon) I Love Reeses Day, No Dirty Dishes Day, Bike to Work Day, Mother Whistler Day, Museum Day, HIV Vaccine Awareness Day, Visit Your Relatives Day, Accounting Day, HIV Vaccine Awareness Day, Cheese Souffle Day

(Tues) Devil’s Food Cake Day, Send an E-card Day, Boys Club Day, May Ray Day, Hepatitis Day, Autoimmune Arthritis Day, Bake Sale Day

(Wed) Turn Beauty Inside Out Day, Be a Millionaire Day, Pick Strawberries Day, Weights & Measurements Day, Eliza Doolittle Day, Emergency Medical Services for Children Day, Employee Health & Fitness Day, Quiche Lorraine Day

(Thurs) Rapture Party Day, I Need a Patch For That Day, Strawberries & Cream Day, Memo Day, One Day Without Shoes Day, American Red Cross Founder’s Day, Humus Day, Wait Staff Day, Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue & Development, Meteorology Day, Chardonnay Day

It’s time to start your week with a smile. Because I know you enjoyed the Caldonia clip from an old movie, I hope this Lindy Hop scene from Hellzapoppin’ (1941) makes you smile. Have a wonderful week.

On a Touch of Klee

Beauty is as relative as light and dark. Thus, there exists no beautiful woman, none at all, because you are never certain that a still far more beautiful woman will not appear and completely shame the supposed beauty of the first. (Paul Klee)

To emphasize only the beautiful seems to me to be like a mathematical system that only concerns itself with positive numbers. (Paul Klee)

The art of mastering life is the prerequisite for all further forms of expression, whether they are paintings, sculptures, tragedies, or musical compositions. (Paul Klee)

In the final analysis, a drawing simply is no longer a drawing, no matter how self-sufficient its execution may be. It is a symbol, and the more profoundly the imaginary lines of projection meet higher dimensions, the better. (Paul Klee)

Color possesses me. I don’t have to pursue it. It will possess me always, I know it. That is the meaning of this happy hour: Color and I are one. I am a painter. (Paul Klee)

Everything vanishes around me, and works are born as if out of the void. Ripe, graphic fruits fall off. My hand has become the obedient instrument of a remote will. (Paul Klee)

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 259

Got to wonder why I selected that opening image.

Love the fact Congressional Democrats are having a public family fight over trade.

Congress continues to shamefully ignore infrastructure.

Interesting that to be Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton signed of statement about separating herself from the Clinton Foundation – but would it have been prudent for her to have a similar written statement with the Clinton Foundation?

Senator Bernie Sanders (D-VT) is challenging Hillary Clinton for the Democratic Party nominee for president. Here’s The Onion’s introducing us to Senator Sanders.

The headline is interesting: South Carolina Republican Refused Obamacare, Now Going Blind, Blames Barack Obama (see for yourself)

Because there was no need, the events around the Tom Brady, the New England Patriots, and deflating footballs reminds me of the Nixon administration and Watergate.

The current season of Dancing with the Stars has been better than I thought it would be when it started. From Noah’s inspiration to the Nastia’s (now eliminated) athleticism to Riker’s full-speed approach to Rumer’s artistry, a tip of the cap to them.

Earlier this week I posted about my journey as one of the Cincinnati Burger Guys. Love the banner below that I found on a blog. Meanwhile, I hope to join them for a burger in the future.
BurgerBanner

Speaking of hamburgers, here’s one of my favorite burger places in Cincinnati. Come on now – click here to see the menu … so, what would you order?

A shout out to AbyssBrain for this brilliant problem-solving flowchart. It’s worth the visit.

I enjoyed this post by Ocean Bream about the internet, brain activity, and behaviors.

Act 4 (Meats) of Meals: The Musical seemed to throw many for a loop. As I write this, acceptable songs that haven’t appeared from artists like Alan Jackson, Roy Orbison, Uncle Kracker, Les Paul, Manhattan Transfer, Fats Waller, Doors, Andrew Sisters, Neil Young, Ike & Tina Turner, and more. As always, quite the musical selection has been gathered.

It’s spring in Cincinnati, and summer is approaching – but, this video is for my southern hemisphere friends.

There will be a Saturday post as the Explore series resumes.

To lead you into this week’s headlines from The Onion, here’s their explanation of Super PACS.

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Anthropologists discover Ancient Greek Super PAC that helped shape first democracy
One year old still waiting for father’s first words
God realizes he forgot to put souls in humans
Child visits Ellis Island to see where grandparents once toured
McDonald’s reintroduces Hamburgler as attractive suburban dad

Interesting Reads
Books about evolution published before Darwin
Berlin: Compared to 70 years ago
Generations and partisanship
Columnist David Brooks on the center-right
The bacteria at Yellowstone
A personal look at Ukraine

Your Weekend Celebrations
(Weekend) Art on the Square Days, Calaveras County Frog Jumping Days

(Fri) Straw Hat Day, Day of Families, Nylon Stockings Day, Peace Officer Memorial Day, Hyperemesis Gravidarum Awareness Day, Endangered Species Day, O. Henry Pun-Off Day, NASCAR Day, Bike to Work Day, Pizza Party Day, MPS Awareness Day, Defense Transportation Day, Tuberous Sclerosis Day, Chocolate Chip Day, Sauvignon Blanc Day, Dinosaur Day, Over-the-Rainbow Day, Kangaroo Care Day

(Sat) Mike the Headless Chicken Day, Do-Dah Day, Mimosa Day, Piercing Day, Sea Monkey Day, Biographer’s Day, Learn to Swim Day, Armed Forces Day, Love a Tree Day, Coquilles Saint Jacques Day, Wear Purple for Peace Day, Pickle Day, Spaghetti-O Day

(Sun) Morel Mushroom Day, Neighbor Day, Hypertension Day, Information Society Day, Telecommunications Day, Neurofibromatosis Day, Pack Rat Day, Cherry Cobbler Day, Walnut Day, Turn Beauty Inside Out Day, Merry-Go-Round Day

Here’s a two-fer to send you into the weekend – one questionable leftover from the latest Meals: The Musical Act and one for Dale who recently saw him in concert. Have a safe weekend and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Meals: The Musical – Act 4: Meats

The Story
Meals: The Musical is an original aFa production is about an important aspect of daily life – eating.

Whether it is snack, something on the run, a glorious sit-down feast, or something in between and regardless of the time of day, food is a life necessity. There are three aspects to a truly fantastic meal: the food, the occasion, and the company. We know Meals: The Musical is a festive occasion where friends gather to share wonderful music – thus the acts will focus on what the dining friends will encounter.

MealsPlaybillProgram (Past Posts)
Act 1: Meals
Act 2: Fruit
Act 3: Side Dishes

Act 4: Meat
Many use a meat dishes as the main course, but other incorporate meat into dishes. Then again, some diners prefer meatless. Nonetheless, this act is all about meat, so song titles must include a meat in the title

Producer’s Note: As a guideline, let a typical menu serve as a guide. Menu will include items as sausage, pork, bacon, and ham – but that doesn’t make pig(s) as an acceptable. The producer does not consider seafood or any meat-substitute as  meat.

Production Note
To prevent browsers crashing from loading too many videos, please 1) include the song title and artist in your text, and 2) paste the URL as part of your last line (not a new line). The latter will provide a link, thus not embed the actual video … but I don’t mind unembedding, so apologies are not necessary.

Announcement
Ladies and gentleman, Frank loves this group and this genre because its toe tapping sound is fun. A big round of applause for Asleep at the Wheel with Ain’t Nobody Here but Us Chickens.

On Satire Bits: Vol. 132

Hooray … the front has passed through, thus the backside will deliver several days of optimal weather. Simply fabulous … and this is great golf weather. Too bad I struggled in my last round.

Meals: The Musical is the next post. Act 4 features Meat, so song titles must include meat(s) or any meat commonly served. Caution against using animal(s) or any specific animal unless the specific animal appears on a typical menu. For instance, thumbs down to pig(s), but sausage, bacon, pork, and ham are acceptable. Seafood items are unacceptable. Curtain time is Wednesday, 9:30 pm (Eastern US).

Now for your mid-week boost in satire to lead you toward the weekend. Not only cheers to The Onion for their wonderful headlines, but don’t forget the Combo Challenge where you construct an original headline with the words from The Onion headlines below the image. My Combo is at the end. Any favorites below?

Have a good rest of the week. Hope to see you at the theater for Act 4.

Houseguest asks if host has blanket that’s never been washed he can use

Area woman can’t wait to get home and take-off uncomfortable persona

Study: Best method of finding job still excitedly circling newspaper listing with red marker

Barber’s paunch keeping touching customer

College encourages lively exchange of ideas

New poll finds 74% of Americans would be comfortable blaming female president for problems

Man always carries gun in case he need to escalate situation

Report: Majority of Earth’s potable water trapped in Coca Cola products

Man thinks going to Vegas for things other than gambling somehow less sad

Troubling report finds dreamingly sliding down back of door after kissing date on porch plummets 78%

My Combo: Area female finds gun in barber’s paunch