On the All-Time Willies

Music has brought forth legends as Willie Nelson and Boxcar Willie, but the song Little Willy (by Sweet) was never a favorite of mine. Free Wily made it to the big screen while Groundskeeper Willie appears on The Simpsons – but the most famous may be Steamboat Willie who became famous with a different name.

While Wiarton Willie is the famous Canadian groundhog who prognosticates the weather. Willie the Wildcat serve as mascots at Northwestern and Kansas State. Ever received a wet willie, tasted Famous Willie’s BBQ, gotten the willies while watching a movie, or know what the British call willie? I didn’t realize that the SS Wily served as a Dutch cargo ship (1938-1939). But it wasn’t a floating chocolate factory nor captained by Willy Wonka.

Nonetheless, these Willies are about baseball … yes baseball – our timeless national pastime – so why not a quote from a non-Willie: “The one constant through all the years has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It’s been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and what could be again.” (James Earl Jones from Field of Dreams)

Similar to the All-time Mickeys, not that many Willies have made it to MLB, Nonetheless, this team boasts some offense – even the bench is stacked with notable All-Stars. Opponents will fear the heart of the batting order, but will be eager to bat against a shaky mound corps. Even though the Willies will play good defense, given their pitchers, they must rely on out-scoring other teams in high-scoring games. One thing for sure, they will distance themselves from the All-Time Randys who have difficulty fielding, hitting, and pitching.

To see the All-Time Randys, All-Time Mickeys, and other all time teams, see Categories in the right-side sidebar, and then Sports > All-Time Teams or click here.

Ladies and gentlemen, now taking the field, the All-Time Willies.

1B – Willie Montanez (AS)
2B – Willie Randolph (AS)
SS – Willie Wells (HOF)
3B – Willie Kamm
C – Dan Willie Wilson (AS)
OF – Willie Mays (HOF)
OF – Wee Willie Keeler (HOF)
OF – Willie Stargell (HOF)
DH – Willie McCovey (HOF)

SP – Wee Willie Bill Sherdell
SP – Willis Willie Hudlin
SP – Willie Sudhoff
SP – Willie Blair
SP – Willie McGill
RP – Willie Hernandez (AS)
RP – Willie Frazier
RP – Willie Banks
RP – Willie Adams

Bench – Willie Davis (AS), Willie Horton (AS), Willie Jones (AS), Willie McGee (AS), Willie Wilson (AS), Willie Bloomquist

Mgr – Willie Randolph

All-Time Rons

Some Rons go by any of the variations of the name. Although we are most familiar with President Ronald Reagan – yet Mrs. Reagan commonly referred to him as Ronnie – while others used Ron. To the contrary, I cannot recall hearing Ronnie or Ronald for Representative Ron Paul – who oddly enough has a name of two first names like a famous Ronald McDonald who actually wasn’t a Ron, Ronnie, or Ronald, but this post is not about Willards or Scotts – it is a post about Rons like Ron Howard, who ironically also has two first names.

The music world gives us Ronnie Milsap, Ronnie Dunn, Ron Wood, and Do Ron Ron, yet another entertainment form made Ron Jeremy a star. King Arthur’s lance was Ron, but the king never faced Re-Open Nominations or had to deal with a Research Octane Number or Resilient Overlay Networks; but he spend more than one night in the same hotel on consecutive days, he was classified as Remaining OverNight. Yet, questions remain. Did he ever cross the Ron River in Switzerland? Did he ever play Rise of Nations? Did he ever file a Report of Nonconformance?

Regardless of the previous questions, there is no doubt that this post is about Rons, but not my cousin Ron – but MLB Rons. Interestingly, this post is actually a collaboration with Journey Towards Epiphany. Kimberly, the heart and soul behind that blog I enjoy reading, is from Chicago. Somehow, she mentioned that she wanted to write a post about a baseball Ron who Chicagoans adore – Ron Santo. Thus, we decided to release these to posts on the same day, so I encourage others to read her post about Ron the Beloved Cub.

The All-Time Rons surprised me. Although none have made it to the hallowed halls of Cooperstown, many Rons journeyed to baseball’s midsummer classic – the All-Star Game (AS). Although the offense lacks a main power source and the starting pitching lacks a dominant stopper, the offense will hold its own – but the pitching is a bit thin. Nonetheless, the All-Time Rons will easily outdistance the All-Time Randys who consistently languish near the basement.

To see the All-Time Randys and other all time teams, see Categories in the right-side sidebar, and then Sports > All-Time Teams or click here.

Ladies and gentlemen, now taking the field, the All-Time Rons.

1B – Ron Fairly (AS)
2B – Ron Hunt (AS)
SS – Ron Hansen (AS)
3B – Ron Santo (AS)
C – Ron Hassey
OF – Ron Gant (AS)
OF – Ron LeFlore (AS)
OF – Ron Northey
DH – Ron Cey (AS)

SP – Ron Guidry (AS)
SP – Ron Darling (AS)
SP – Ron Reed (AS)
SP – Ron Kline
SP – Ron Robinson
RP – Ron Peronoski
RP – Ron Davis (AS)
RP – Ron Valone
RP – Ron Bryant

Bench: Ron Belliard (AS), Ron Oester, Ron Coomer (AS), Ron Kittle (AS), Ron Karkovice, Ron Jackson

Mgr – Ron Gardenhire

On the All-Time MLB Foodies

A few years ago a guy named Mo asked, “What about a food team?” Sure, anyone can whip together names as Ice-T, John Candy, Coco Chanel, Eve Plumb, Jerry Rice, Jack Lemmon, Soupy Sales, Halle Berry, Carrot Top, Meatloaf, Kevin Bacon, Cookie Gilchrist, Warren Burger, Fiona Apple, Brutus Beefcake, Anthony Weiner, and a few Playmates named Candy or Cookie; but, what about baseball? After several years on my plate, here is a dish of delicacies for Mo.

The All-Time Foodies are a surprising lot as 11 Hall of Famers make the team. Problem is too many are outfielders. What a problem for rookie manager Peanuts: pick three, insert one as DH, and convert one to a first baseman.

This team is good enough to create havoc for the better teams and distance themselves from the All-Time Randys, who aren’t very good – but not the leagues worst! The lineup is a feast-or-famine lot and the starting pitching is good. However, if a team can get to a starter to put stress on the bullpen, this team could be in trouble. In other words, the All-Time Foodies no worse than a middle of the pack team with enough talent to create some havoc for the contenders. And who knows – even maybe pushing for contention.

To see the All-Time Randys and other all-time teams, see Categories in the right-side sidebar, and then Sports > All-Time Teams or click here.

Ladies and gentlemen, now taking the field, the All-Time Foodies.

1B – Mike Lamb
2B – Cookie Rojas (AS)
SS – Cookie Lavagetto (AS)
3B – Pie Traynor (HOF)
C – Johnny Oates

OF – Pick 3, one DH, and get one to learn first base: Sam Rice (HOF), Jim Rice (HOF), Zach Wheat (HOF), Turkey Stearnes (HOF), Goose Goslin (HOF), Chick Hafey (HOF)

SP – Catfish Hunter (HOF)
SP – Bob Lemon (HOF)
SP – Noodles Hahn
SP – Dizzy Trout (AS)
SP – Candy Cummings (HOF)

RP – Goose Gossage (HOF)
RP – Vinegar Bend Mizell (AS)
RP – Sugar Cain
RP – Frank Pears
RP – Stew Bolen

Mgr – Peanuts Lowry (Long-time coach, but never a manager)

Bench: (The extra outfielders would bump someone and some of these won’t make it,  but these players are worth mentioning.) Darryl Strawberry (AS), Pepper Martin (AS), Ruben Sierra (AS), Peaches Graham, Pickles Dilhoeffer, Ken Berry, Candy Maldonado, Salty Parker, Billy Bean, Chicken Wolf, Coco Crisp

On the All-Time Larrys

Larry King did the interviews, but Larry Gatlin sang. Larry Holmes provided the knockouts while Larry Csonka pounded for yards. Larry the Legend Bird performed basketball magic, yet Larry Hagman was the magic behind JR.

We can find Larry’s name on restaurants for hamburgers, New York pizza, and cheesecake. I graduated with a Larry, but it’s not the Nutball from the Sunshine state. Larry, Daryl, and Daryl, made Newhart frown, but does anyone remember Larry the Cucumber being the alter ego of Larry-Boy on Veggie Tales? By the way, who is not related to Larry the Lobster from Sponge Bob Square Pants.

No Larrys have occupied the Oval Office, St. Peters, or Buckingham Palace. Actually, Larry the Cable Guy isn’t a Larry (but a Daniel Lawrence), however, 3 Stooges provided a very Fine Larry. (Rim shot)

Despite suggestions from conspiracy theorists, there is no St. Larry Seaway, a TV bandleader named Larry Welk, or a film about Larry of Arabia. Plus, the Jayhawks’ hometown is not Larryville. In other words, how will I treat Lawrences who weren’t Larrys?

A baseball team of Larrys can hit, but pitching is skeptical. Although the staff has wily veterans, this team lacks a bonafide stopper and closer. Nonetheless, the Larrys will easily outdistance the All-Time Randy’s who have a difficult time competing with the average teams.

To see the All-Time Randys and other all time teams, see Categories in the right-side sidebar, and then Sports > All-Time Teams or click here.

Ladies and gentlemen, now taking the field, the AllTime Larrys!

1B – Larry Walker (AS)
2B – Larry Doyle (MVP)
SS – Larry Bowa (AS)
3B – Larry (Chipper) Jones (AS)
C – Lawrence (Yogi) Berra (HOF)

OF – Larry Doby (HOF)
OF – Larry Hisle (AS)
OF – Larry Parish (AS)
DH – Larry Herndon

SP – Larry French (AS)
SP – Larry Jackson (AS)
SP – Larry Dierker (AS)
SP – Larry Gura (AS)
SP – Larry Jansen (AS)

RP – Larry Anderson
RP – Larry Benton
RP – Lary Sorenson (AS)
RP – Larry Christianson

MGR – Larry Bowa

Bench – Larry McLean, Larry Gardner, Larry Kopf, Larry Brown, Larry Stahl, and Larry Haney

On the All-Time Jerrys

Jerry Lewis teamed with a famous Martin, but not the one that I know. Jerry Seinfeld made us laugh in his show about nothing while Jerry Springer had a show with nothing.

Ben and Tom each teamed with a famous Jerry, but Greenfield is the one associated with the ice cream, but the Jerry I know is linked to a namesake nursery. While Gerald (Gerry) Ford was never born, he was alive enough to become president after paying on the gridiron, as did recent Hall of Fame inductee Jerry Rice.

Whether Jerry, Gerry, Gerald, or even Jeron with a Julio – and no matter how you cut it, this team is not very good. Then again, being in a league with the All-Time Randy’s and a few others will keep them out of the basement. Besides, having two good starters will help. So why are so many Jerry’s middle infielders?

To see the All-Time Randys and other all time teams, see Categories in the right-side sidebar, and then Sports > All-Time Teams or click here.

Ladies and gentlemen. Now taking the field, the All-Time Jerry’s.

1B – Gerald Perry
2B – Jerry Lumpe (AS)
SS – Jerry Royster
3B – Jerry Hairston Jr
C – Jerry Grote (AS)
OF – Gerald Gee Walker (AS)
OF – Jerry Mumphrey (AS)
OF – Jerry Morales (AS)
DH – Jerry Lynch

SP – Jerry Koosman (AS)
SP – Jerry Reuss (AS)
SP – Gerry Staley (AS)
SP – Jerry Augustine
SP – Jerry Arrigo
RP – Jerry DiPoto
RP – Jerry Gleaton
RP – Jerry Walker
RP – Jerry Spradlin
Mgr – Jerry Manuel

Bench – Jerry Moses (AS), Jerry Browne, Jerry Adair, Jerry Remy (AS), Jerry Coleman (AS)