On Oreos

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Oreos – a long-lasting brand from Nabisco (National Biscuit Company). From its March 1912 patient/trademark registration to announcing its appearance to American consumers, Oreos have treated multiple generations.

From the Oreo Biscuit to the Oreo Sandwich to the Oreo Creme Sandwich to just Oreos, this cookie is an iconic American brand with global appeal. Think back to the days when Oreos were just Oreos – simply two embossed chocolate-flavored wafers with a sweet vanilla cream filling in between. Did you bite into them whole or did you separate the wafers to then scrape the creme with your teeth?

 

Yes – those were the days – the days when Oreos were just Oreos. To Nabisco’s credit (now part of the Kraft empire), Oreo is now more than a classic cookie – it is a very successful brand. A brand that has transformed the iconic treat into a buyer’s dilemma.

Do you want some Oreos? Do you want regular size, king size, Thins, Bites, or Thin Bites? Do you made a small package, family size, or just a sleeve? Oh wait – they also come in Go-Packs, lunchbox size, convenience pack, and party size! You should consider 2 packs, 4 packs, multiple packs boxed as 4, 12, or 18 counts . Don’t forget a case of boxes!

Do wafer do you want: Chocolate, Golden, Heads or Tails (one of each)? Reminder – there is also a triple layered! (That’s three layers with two layers of creme.)

If you want Chocolate wafers, what stuffing flavor do you want? Your choices are vanilla, strawberry cheesecake, pistachio, cherry cola, birthday cake, double delight, mint creme, cool mint, red velvet, Mississippi mud pie, chocolate egg, cookie dough, brownie butter, chocolate chip cookie, peppermint bark, strawberry creme, peanut butter creme, banana split, Reese’s peanut butter, butter creme, Dunkin Donut mocha, chocolate peanut butter pie, rocky road trip, hot & spicy cinnamon creme, fireworks with popping candy, spring, winter, and Halloween

Don’t forget the fudge dipped and white fudge covered – which is different from the white chocolate fudge.

If you want Golden wafers, what stuffing flavor do you want? Your choices are salted caramel, cinnamon bun, waffles & syrup, blueberry pie, fruity crisp, candy corn, lemon creme, pumpkin spice, chocolate creme, rainbow sherbet, jelly donut, strawberry shortcake, kettle corn, and popping candy.

How do you want the creme: double-stuffed, mega-stuffed, or just the standard?

Oh, you want Reduced Fat Oreos? That can be done – but the choices are limited.

For me on this day, I didn’t buy any Oreo’s because they didn’t have what I wanted – a snack pack of Mini Bytes Heads or Tails Thins with double-stuffed salted caramel filling that are dipped in fudge. What’s a person with a craving to do in the age of Oreos not being just Oreos any more?

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On a Bag Sale

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Occasionally, stores have a bag sale. A sale where the store gives a bag to each customer, then give a designated percentage off the price of everything fits in the bag. Not a bag as the above, but a large paper bag – one slightly larger than a large brown paper bag from a grocery store.

Besides the discounted percentage in large letters, phrases as “Even sale priced items” qualify” get the buyer’s attention. Although “No early discounts” apply because of the designated dates involved, nothing like a sale when lawyers get involved. After all, the fine print list is probably what has been tried by customers at past sales.

According to the fine print, In order to qualify for the discount,

  • All merchandise must fit inside the bag
  • All merchandise must fit inside the bag all at one time
  • No modifications to the bag
  • Products up to twice the height of the bag qualify as long as it fits inside the bag
  • If purchasing multiples of one item, all must fit inside the bag
  • No stacking beyond the height of the bag
  • All items inside the bag must remain in original packaging
  • Merchandise cannot be disassembled to fit in the bag
  • Not valid on Gift Cards, special orders, picking lists/invoices, rental agreements, self-service items, or the floozies in the backroom
  • No rainchecks
  • No price adjustments from previous sales
  • One bag per guest
  • In the spirit of the sale, please do not ask the cashier to split your purchase up across multiple bags held by family members.

Any morals to this story?