On Oreos

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Oreos – a long-lasting brand from Nabisco (National Biscuit Company). From its March 1912 patient/trademark registration to announcing its appearance to American consumers, Oreos have treated multiple generations.

From the Oreo Biscuit to the Oreo Sandwich to the Oreo Creme Sandwich to just Oreos, this cookie is an iconic American brand with global appeal. Think back to the days when Oreos were just Oreos – simply two embossed chocolate-flavored wafers with a sweet vanilla cream filling in between. Did you bite into them whole or did you separate the wafers to then scrape the creme with your teeth?

 

Yes – those were the days – the days when Oreos were just Oreos. To Nabisco’s credit (now part of the Kraft empire), Oreo is now more than a classic cookie – it is a very successful brand. A brand that has transformed the iconic treat into a buyer’s dilemma.

Do you want some Oreos? Do you want regular size, king size, Thins, Bites, or Thin Bites? Do you made a small package, family size, or just a sleeve? Oh wait – they also come in Go-Packs, lunchbox size, convenience pack, and party size! You should consider 2 packs, 4 packs, multiple packs boxed as 4, 12, or 18 counts . Don’t forget a case of boxes!

Do wafer do you want: Chocolate, Golden, Heads or Tails (one of each)? Reminder – there is also a triple layered! (That’s three layers with two layers of creme.)

If you want Chocolate wafers, what stuffing flavor do you want? Your choices are vanilla, strawberry cheesecake, pistachio, cherry cola, birthday cake, double delight, mint creme, cool mint, red velvet, Mississippi mud pie, chocolate egg, cookie dough, brownie butter, chocolate chip cookie, peppermint bark, strawberry creme, peanut butter creme, banana split, Reese’s peanut butter, butter creme, Dunkin Donut mocha, chocolate peanut butter pie, rocky road trip, hot & spicy cinnamon creme, fireworks with popping candy, spring, winter, and Halloween

Don’t forget the fudge dipped and white fudge covered – which is different from the white chocolate fudge.

If you want Golden wafers, what stuffing flavor do you want? Your choices are salted caramel, cinnamon bun, waffles & syrup, blueberry pie, fruity crisp, candy corn, lemon creme, pumpkin spice, chocolate creme, rainbow sherbet, jelly donut, strawberry shortcake, kettle corn, and popping candy.

How do you want the creme: double-stuffed, mega-stuffed, or just the standard?

Oh, you want Reduced Fat Oreos? That can be done – but the choices are limited.

For me on this day, I didn’t buy any Oreo’s because they didn’t have what I wanted – a snack pack of Mini Bytes Heads or Tails Thins with double-stuffed salted caramel filling that are dipped in fudge. What’s a person with a craving to do in the age of Oreos not being just Oreos any more?

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On Hot Sauces

Original Source Unknown

Original Source Unknown

A local grocery offers many oddities for shoppers. It’s a large store with many imports and hard-to-find items. I’m not one who enjoys serious heat with my food, but a trip to the hot sauce display is a source of cheap entertainment and a test for my content organizing skills.

Some name sauces after people as Crazy Jerry, Mountain Man, Captain Redbeard, Papa Jack, Melinda, Susie, and Dave.

Some sauces seek emotions for their names as Fear, Envy, Measure & Pain, Tropical Tears, Pain is Good, and Squeal Like a Pig.

Some sauces seek names from the dark side as Beyond Death, Sweet Death, The Ghost, Ghost Deadly, Red Ghost, After Life, Tortured Soul, Devil’s Lightning, The Reaper, Reaper Sling Blade, Liquid Lucifer, Pure Passion, Hot Sauce from Hell, Hell’s Passion, and Hell Sauce.

Some sauces seek fiery names as Fatal Fire, Ring of Fire, Jamaican Hell Fire, Hell’s Inferno, Mad Dog Inferno, Pyromania, See Jane on Fire, and Hot as Shit Hot Sauce.

Some sauces seek backside names as Ass Kickin’, Megasoreass, Asbirin, Ass in Space, Ass in Hell, Ass in Tub, Ass in Antarctica, JackAss, LazyAss, Hog’s Ass, Buttpucker, Butt Twister, and Brand New Asshole.

Some sauces seek names with results as Fiery Fart, Flamin’ Flatulence, Sir Fartalot, Queen of Farts, Old Fart, Red Rectum, Rectal Rocket Fuel, Rectal Ripper, Colon Blow, Holy Shit, and Screaming Sphincter.

Some sauces seek other sources for their names as Liquid Stooped, Hot Buns on the Beach, Pecker Power, Angry Cock, Peppers Hurt So Good, Sergeant Peppers, Bite Me, Crazy Mother Pucker’s, Sauce Bitch, and my favorite – Smack My Sweet Ass and Call Me Sally.

Which of these is your favorite? Viveka, did you find any potential remedies?

On Grocery Store Incidents

A grocery store is a wonderful place to witness a wide range of human behavior. Maybe that is a reason I used the marketplace in past posts. My recent trips brought these situations to my attention.

I cannot believe the idea came to me too late. A lady, who was buying a regular size bag of potato chips, was in front of me in the self-checkout aisle. I got the impression that she just put some money on a gift card, which had made its way through the cybermaze. The clerk got involved and directed the lady to the service counter. Then it hit me – I should have purchased the chips for her.

Some things make me feel guilty. For instance, one time I went back to the bank after discovering the clerk gave me 12 cents too much. Recently, I couldn’t pass on the calling from the Cadbury Egg display. Once I got to the car, I noticed I did not run egg through the scanner because it was still in the cart – not a bag. Heck yes I ate it, but several days later when I returned to the store, I paid for the egg with one from the display, and then returned the egg to the display

On the way out of the store, someone left a cart in the middle of a parking space, which was a space-and-a-half from the cart corral. To top it off, it was in the middle of a handicap parking spot. I pushed the cart into the stall, but I admit mumbling unkind thoughts. Later I wondered if the guilty party was physically capable of pushing the cart to its rightful spot. I will never know, and will not venture to guess – but I do wonder.

Past Grocery Store Posts

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 79

On the BCS
The BCS announced their bowl pairings, and the non-BCS affiliated bowls did the same. Blah blah blah. Regardless what BSC head Bill Hancock states, the BCS system has little to nothing to do with determining a national champion, and everything to do with revenue. The BCS is a cartel working to protect the financial interest of its members by locking in a significant portion of the bowl venue to the members. It is that simple.

On the Palin Wonder
Part of me has always thought that Sarah Palin stays in the news because of the money gained – thus nothing to do with running for the White House. Now that Kate + 8 Gosslin is to appear on the TLC show, that helps solidify that thought – thus Mama Grizzly and all her anger continue to smile all the way to the bank.

On Capitol Hill Shorts

  • Congress is currently in their lame duck session. At least in January they can return to just lame.
  • Alas – the Republicans extending unemployment benefits must mean they are socialists.
  • Speaking of the latest news from Washington, I appreciate this New York Times article.

On the Latest Theme Park
The Cincinnati area had Big Butter Jesus, which burnt to the ground in minutes after a lightning strike; BUT the church will replace it with something bigger. (My take on the burning.) On the other side of the Ohio River offers the Creation Museum, whose parent organization recently announced its intention to build a creation theme park with a huge ark. Oh boy … and in the spirit of Sonny and Cher, the beat goes on.

An addendum: Just discovered this free program at Evolutionary Christianity.

On Just Imagine
This past Wednesday marked the 30th anniversary of John Lennon’s death. Wow – to think he would now be 70. I invite you to stimulate your brain with this post by Al at 2012.

On a Classic Exit
Thank you Elizabeth Edwards for showing death with dignity – and you are at peace.

On a Simple Gifts of Handbells
Many of us associated Simple Gifts, the classic Shaker tune, with the current holiday season. Obviously, many arrangements exist Here is the one our handbell choir is playing this weekend, which includes a lively section.

On a Classic Angle
I must admit that one of my secret dreams is to be a traffic cop at a grocery store. Oh no, not in the parking lot, but inside the store because too many shoppers do not know how to operate a shopping card! Since this is the shopping season, this archived post is about a trip to the grocery store.

Have a safe weekend!

On a Grocery-Store Experience

There’s nothing like a trip to the grocery store to witness the diverse nature of our society; variety of shapes and sizes, varying socio-economic circumstances, varying dress, different behaviors, and countless of other human traits.

While entering the parking lot I see a car cutting across the lot. As we approach one another, I slowed down to prevent being broadsided if I turned down the wrong row, and then noticed the driver is also talking on their phone.

As I start turning into a prime parking spot, a loose shopping cart was also there. Of course it’s very close to the cart corral.

I move the cart to the corral, only to notice that other two carts were just outside the corral. How hard can this be? Maybe the prior shoppers lacked the ability to push their cart into the stall.

As I’m walking toward the store, a lady exits her car talking on her phone, and continues as she walks toward the store. Since she’s still babbling while I’m in the produce department, I quickly get my items and change my shopping route.

In the serenity of my next aisle I encounter a deliberate shopper – the one standing beside their cart and in front of the items while blocking the entire aisle. Since I’m the patient type, I determined what I could get in that area without taking my cart.

Able to move on, I rounded the corner toward the next aisle and saw the lady still on the phone. I come to a screeching halt, and off to another aisle.

Fortunately, an aisle with a clear path; unfortunately, an aisle with nothing I needed. Knowing my needs are in the next aisle, I turn the corner to be confronted by a two-shopper blockade holding a social court. No problem, off the next aisle where a shopper studying a kitchen gadget label is pondering her decision. This time I politely say, “Excuse me”

Time to go back an aisle – Oh no … she’s still talking! Since she lacked Secret Service Agents, she can’t be that important, so I got my items, and pass her (while mentally mumbling to myself).

In the next aisle I encountered a leisurely shopper slowly strolling aimlessly down the center of the aisle; meaning I can’t pass on either side. Since I needed items here, fell in line behind the parade’s Grand Marshall.

After two more stops I move toward checkout. While passing the express, self-check lanes I noticed the clueless shopper who thought the sign said, “Express Checkout for Shoppers 12 and Over.” The good news is that it wasn’t the lady with the cell phone.

Finally, I’m out of there; bags in the car; cart in the corral; and driving down the row, but not home free because as I drove in front of the store, I waited on the person slowly crossing at a diagonal because they don’t know the shortest distance between any two points is a straight line!

Yes, this all this happened on the same day. Yes, we encounter situations like this everyday. Yes, I too can (sometimes) be the cause. Today though, I wish I had some of Bill Engvall’s signs to distribute. So I leave this post with three thoughts and a very short closing.

Principle 1: Life isn’t about us as individuals.

Principle 2: The little things we do in life don’t take that much extra time and effort. Smiles, greetings, a multitude of niceties, and even putting shopping carts in parking lot corrals, go a long way. Many years ago, a friend of mine would say, “It doesn’t cost much more to be first class.”

Principle 3: Be aware of your environment, because every decision we make as individuals impact others – even those little things.

With not that much effort, these principles not only would improve our life, but just as important, they would better the life of others – and that’s what life is about.