On Satire Bits: Vol. 53

It’s mid-week and I just came off a lousy round on the golf course. On the plus side, the weather and the company were wonderful.

How’s your first part of your week going? Hopefully, this boost of satire will send you toward the weekend with positive vibes. Any favorites?

For those wanting the extra challenge, use the information in these headlines (and only these headlines) to form your new combination headline. Have a good rest of the week.

Company lacks manpower to complete latest round of layoffs

Area man panics after “liking” 381 of his ex-girlfriend’s Facebook photos

Website humiliates itself

Talk of crackers makes local thirsty

Report: Chinese third-graders falling behind US high school students in science and math

Inspirational teacher cancelled out by every other teacher at school

Retired pope vows to continue drawing “Papalpuss” comic strip

Community mourns death of beloved drunk driver

Danica Patrick flood with fan mail from nation’s inspired girl

Nostalgic warden has seen 3 generations of family come through the prison

Obnoxious friend won’t stop attaining major life milestones

Child who just lost balloon begins lifelong battle with depression

My Combo: Retired Pope vows to talk crackers with Danica Patrick

On Satire Bits: Vol. 50

How’s your week so far?

Warm weather has sudden burst onto Cincinnati the past few days … and we could break 80 F (26 C) for the second consecutive day. Well, all that before the bottom falls out very soon.

Any favorites?

For those desiring a creative challenge, it’s combination time – so use any of the information in this headlines to develop a new headline. Mine is at the end

Eccentric man introduces new sweater to closet pals Colonel Coat and Captain Blazer

Frustrated inner city students running out of ideas to motivate teachers

Millions of human beings experiencing emotions about JJ Abrams directing Star Wars

Half of 26-year old’s memories are Nintendo related

Area man compares circle of friends to cast of Lost

Study finds working at work improves productivity

Marxist student has capitalist parents

Congressional panel to investigate old mansion

Nation would not be surprised if Chris Brown allegedly travelled back in time to punch Anne Frank

Study exposes risk of conducting research while driving

Torrent of soap issues exits wildly from unexpected part of dispenser

Creep one-word message from mom could mean anything

My Combo: Eccentric Congressional panel exposes creepy Colonel Coat, Captain Blazer, and Chris Brown

On Satire Bits: Vol. 37

Interesting how things unfold sometimes. My week started with a relative calmness, and now a client wants something by next Tuesday. Oh boy. Guess letting you know that this midweek bite of satire is good timing for me – plus, sadly so, the work is going to cut into my time visiting your blogs.

This dose from The Onion actually is two lists in one. The first five are typical. However, the last five kind of a challenge from a frequent visitor here, Another Day in Paradise. One day she joking wondered if The Onion ever mentioned South Africa. Well, well, well … gotta love the archives as they provided the last five! I sure hope Bulldog also sees these! Any favorites?

Sensitive Scientists Report 5 in 5 Women Don’t Know How Beautiful They Are

Bold Talk about Making Broth Going Around Apartment Complex

Man Who Cried Himself to Sleep Last Night has some Great Ideas for Growing Company Brand

Hiring of Local Moron Gives Nation’s Unemployed Hope

Box of Old Playboys Found

South Africa Realizes All Its Things Were Stolen during World Cup

South African Vuvuzela Philharmonic Angered by Soccer Game Breaking Out during Concert

Rhino and Tickbird Stuck in Dead-End Symbiotic Relationship

Oprah’s African School Forced to Cut Oprahmatics, 20th Century Oprah History

Somali Pirates Steal Stadium