On Satire Bits: Vol. 57

Greetings everyone! Hope all is going well for each of you.

My week hiatus is progressing, although I haven’t visited others as much as I hoped. Then again, my break isn’t over yet!

Since our last communication, we’ve made it to the dance floor, attended a euchre party, hosted friends, moved 10 cubic yards of mulch (that’s 7.6 cubic meters elsewhere in the world), played lousy golf, and a few other odds and ends.

Although this isn’t a normal week, I could use a dose of satire for my mid-week boost. For your entertainment, I went to The Onion’s archives in search of headlines about North Korea. Any favorites?

Enjoy – and have a good rest of the week.

“What we are doing is weird and wrong” says small voice in Kim Jung Un’s head

Kim Jong-Un announces plans to bring moon to North Korea

North Korea nukes self in desperate plea for attention

Kim Jong-Un interprets sunrise as act of war

North Korea returns to normalcy after synchronized jump-rope gala

Kim Jong-Un unfolds into giant robot

North Korea celebrates as Kim Jong-Un first man to walk on moon

Teen Newsweek reports North Korea is The Bomb

President sends Secretary of State to North Korea to do that condescending nod thing

North Korea tests short-range missiles on family and friends first

Visual Bonus: See storyboards of new Batman movie starring Kim Jong-Un

On Satire Bits: Vol. 47

It’s mid-week, so how’s your week going? Do you anticipate the rest of the week being better, worse, or the same?

Courtesy of The Onion, here’s a bit of mid-week satire to boost your week. Which is your favorite?

For those who enjoy a creative challenge, take the information in the headlines (and only in the headlines) to make a new headline.

Scientist debut smug robot that can run a half marathon and brag about it

38-year old little boy posts picture of fast car he likes on Facebook

Dad holds Best Buy salesperson’s feet to fire with questions about HDTV compatibility

Neighborhood flocks to coffee shop bulletin board to read about fun, upcoming events

US Treasury cowboy claims “something done spooked the economy”

Pet dog almost like disgusting family member

Annual teeth cleaning reveals three previously unnoticed rows of teeth

Psychiatrists warn nation’s used car salesmen going insane, practically giving cars away

Army commander depressed after reading Facebook comment on latest raid

Mother who forgot to pay 29-year-old son’s phone bill reminded to really be careful about that

Career spider unsure if she’s ready to for 3,000 children

New Balance releases “Laces Only” minimalist running shoe

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My combo: New Balance salesman holds family’s feet to fire

On Party Onion Dip

I know, I know … I said I was taking a break, and I really am – BUT, with the Super Bowl this coming weekend, I couldn’t resist dipping into The Onion’s archives for some related headlines – or as I like to think – here’s some Onion Dip for your Super Bowl party.

For my non-US readers, the Super Bowl is one of the most-watched television events as many people gather for parties – thus the prices for commercials are quite expensive. Actually, the commercials will get considerable discussion – thus the inclusion of a video.

The game itself will be the first ever Super Bowl involving each team (San Francisco and Baltimore) coached by two brothers. Will you be attending a Super Bowl party?

No need to combine any headlines, so do you have a favorite from the list below? Meanwhile, this time for sure, no more new posts from me during my break … but I’ll reply here … well, for a little …. and I really do mean it this time – I’m taking a break.

NFL coaches admit having to punt sucks

ESPN shows family film of young Harbaugh brothers coaching together in backyard

Two dogs from same litter to coach 2013 Puppy Bowl

Pre-game coin toss makes player realize randomness of life

John Madden eats RV

Referee frustrated over number of commercials shown in replay booth

Super Bowl matchup rekindles smoldering resentment of San Francisco-Baltimore war of 1877

NFL player works out often

Commissioner proposes eliminating ball from NFL

Referee disallows touchdown after dropping ball handed to him by player

Mothers of NFL players concerned about binge drinking on bottom of pile

Area man thinking up funny things to say at Super Bowl party

Voices in headset calling coach “Idiot”

Hungry defense feeds on crowd

Super Bowl Party Tip: Pre-soak Doritos in beer

On Satire Bits: Vol. 41

Happy New Year!

We rung in 2013 from a ballroom dance event, and then attended a brunch party the next day. Hopefully your holiday was a safe one! How did you spend New Years’ Eve?

To start the work week, a dose of satire from The Onion is a good idea. Besides identifying your favorite, here’s the challenge – develop a new headline by combining 2 or more from those below. Enjoy!

Defeated Man Victorious

Extensive FAQ Page Dispels Any Lingering Confusion about Popular Boston Duck Tour

Anorexic Woman at Gym Looking Good

Area Man Impresses Date by Eating Calamari Appetizer as Fast as Possible

Intern Just Happens to be Beautiful 22-year old Woman

Second-Person Narrative Enthralling You

Area Man never in the Mood to do Things He Hasn’t Done Before

Man Stays Up Most of Night Rocking Cat Back to Sleep

Pan Left to Soak Now Predates All Current Roommates

Area Woman Finally Uploads all 12 Million of her Vacations Photos to Facebook

On a Monday Bounce

Another weekend has closed. How was yours?

No ballroom time for us this weekend as my in-laws anniversary bash dominated the spotlight. Attendees had a good time and my in-laws were very pleased.

Nonetheless, between the preparation, the event, the aftermath, family in town, etc … something was always on the hot burner. Reminds me of being on a pogo stick. Well, not quite like those in the video, but they do provide humorous and head-scratching moments. Then again, my pogo stick history is very short.

Have a good week.