Dueling Hockey Moms

The 2008 presidential election season has been dominating the news for so long. Remember the pre-primary debates with numerous candidates? Given tonight’s VP debate, this material below couldn’t be timelier. Politics aside, it made me laugh.

Below is a guest columnist in the recent edition of the weekly community newspaper in my area. Since I could not find the story online, I retyped it with credits.

GOP Passed Up Similar Hockey Mom
I am utterly outraged and speechless that I was overlooked for the vice presidential nomination of the GOP. I too, am a 40-year-old woman with five children (all with funky names as well).

Just as (Governor) Palin experience as hotly contested election as mayor in her small town, I lost the VICA (Vocational Industrial Clubs of America) Queen election by just a handful of votes. Although not an athlete like “Sarah Barracuda,” I have won the high school state championship for cosmetology in the great state of Ohio. Along with our current VP nominee, I have done quite well in beauty pageant and was the top Calendar Girl in Milford in 1983.

Americans have risen en masse to support this premier hockey mom, but as a homeschool mom, I have broken up more fights and seen more blood than she ever will. And though I have never dressed a moose, I can dress a mean turkey all the while multitasking with escalating rivalries, economic challenges, and pressing domestic concerns. She may have a BA in journalism, but I feel my 3.0 average in creative writing at Palm Beach Junior College gives me the expertise needed for delivering Republican speeches and invaluable training in relaying talking points from Republican strategists and think tanks at White House press briefings.

My experience as a hairstylist would have allowed me to cut wasteful spending right at the White House. Making a clean seep of personal groomers we could save thousands of dollars on expensive beehive hairdos. (Senator) McCain could be the first in my chair to receive to receive a new look to help him feel young again. Americans would appreciate the cost saving.

I must admit, I too kept my fifth pregnancy a secret as I prepared nine months for homebirth (medical reform). But I must confess that I am not an expectant grandmother-to-be. In compliance with the GOP request, I will take off my Republican hat, but will be replacing it with the “other party hat.” By the way, some call Sarah Palin a maverick, but in 1980, I drove a (Ford) Maverick.

Tammy Phillips Hodgens
Community Press Guest Columnist
Milford-Miami Advertiser
October 1, 2008