On Satire Bits: Vol. 113

A mid-week cheer from Cincinnati. After several comfortable days, the weather is turning … then again, it’s November.

My week has been busy with enough personal errands that I’m behind on my visiting. Hopefully this won’t last long.

I forgot to ask on the Monday Morning Entertainment post, but did the news about Lauren Hill getting her wish to play in a college basketball game make the news in your area? I watched the player introductions (she was last), the opening tip, and her making the game’s first basket. To my surprise, she returned to the game and got the last basket. It was quite emotional to watch.

To close this post, it’s time for your mid-week dose of satire from The Onion. Which is your favorite? A reminder to try the Combo Challenge of forming your own headline from the words in the headlines below the pic from Getty Images. My Combo is at the end. Enjoy and have a good rest of the week.

Embed from Getty Images

Man brings son into office to see where dad emasculated

Asexually reproduced sea sponge worried she’s turning into self

Maybelline introduces new ideal-woman rubber mask to use in place of makeup

Weird new cereal sets tone for first weekend at divorced Dad’s place

Livestock happiest, healthiest attendees at state fair

George Clooney enjoys another rousing evening at home with mummified members of Rat Pack

Delta Airlines launches alumni magazine for people who few airline previously

Area Facebook user incredibly stupid

FDA recommends at least 3 servings of food with word “Fruit” on the box

Report: Standing at work can increase coworker’s disdain up to 70%

My Combo: Coworkers introduces divorced woman to man with George Clooney mask

On Satire Bits: Vol. 92

Storms rolled across the central US earlier this week, so rain came to Cincinnati -but at least we avoided the severe weather. I recently heard a report that more tornadoes occur in the US than any other country. Did you know that?

I hope your week has gone well so far. Errands, mostly move related, continue to dominate my to-do list. Interestingly, my post for yesterday wasn’t ready, and hooray … I didn’t panic! Meanwhile, the next post is Life: The Musical, with Act 3 featuring songs with first names in the title … so get your songs ready as curtain time is Wednesday, 9:30 PM (Eastern US).

Your mid-week satire is below, so hopefully something will give you a chuckle. Do you have a favorite? For that extra challenge, make your own headline from the words in the headlines below. My combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Embed from Getty Images

Elite congressman trained to kill legislation in 24 different ways

Expressing deeply held political opinion referred to a “gaffe”

Neighborhood much safer since mayor vanquished fire troll

Area man’s emotional state completely dependent on outcome of sporting event

Study: Exposing yourself in produce section still frowned upon by society

American obesity traced to one heavy-set Mayflower passenger

Unclear if grandma just friends with 81-year old widower

Humans display highest cognitive abilities when trying to retrieve object dropped between car seats

Study find Earth located in lamest part of universe

All of man’s time-wasting websites exhausted before lunch

My Combo: Lamest congressman exposes fire troll

On Satire Bits: Vol. 91

Warm weather is upon us, thus it’s time for golf league to start. Of course, we were supposed to start last week, but the league secretary graciously postpone the start due to miserable weather. How’s the weather been in your area?

How’s your week going so far? An interesting thing happened to me at this week’s handbell rehearsal. Since January, I have been playing some of the large bass bells. Keep in mind that handbells are made of brass – thus one of the bells I play on one song weighs 8.25 pounds (3.7 kg). One has to be careful, but I think it caused a mild hyperextension of my elbow.

The hyperextension and the start of golf league isn’t the best timing. As I always do before playing, I took some time on the practice range …. and to my surprise the elbow didn’t bother me, thus I played without any problems. The elbow area remains tender, so time will tell if it heals enough to be able to play this Sunday. Believe me – swinging a heavy piece of brass is much different that swinging a golf club.

Let’s move on our midweek-dose of satire courtesy of The Onion. Any favorites below? Don’t forget the extra challenge of making your own satirical headline by reusing the words in the headlines below. My combo is at the end. Enjoy and have a good rest of the week.

Coworkers currently G-chatting about you

Man spends weekend binge-watching neighbor

Study: More children growing up in single-parrot households

So-called Christian has erection

Report: Only 20 minutes until introverted man gets to leave party

Area mother doesn’t see why Thai people need to make food so spicy

McDonald’s now offering bereavement prices

Expectant parents throw some values together at the last minute

Dog held against will inside Skype window

Imperial inspector to arrive by railcar this afternoon

My Combo: Neighbor spends 20 minutes watching McDonald’s erection