On Satire Bits: Vol. 85 – The Valentine’s Edition

The cold still has a grip on the much of the northern US, thus in the battle of groundhogs, Phil’s prediction is (at the moment) looking better than Chuck’s. It has also been a week the southeastern US received another dose of ice and snow while the northwest is dealing with the aftermath from the Pineapple Express.

One last reminder – The next post marks the debut of Life: The Musical. Get your songs ready with titles that include life, living, alive, lived, or live (that rhymes with give, not five). Curtain time is 9:30 pm (Eastern US) Wednesday.

With Valentine’s Day looming large on Friday’s calendar, I rummaged around archive vaults at The Onion to find appropriate head-shakers for your mid-week dose of satire. Any favorites? Yep, I’m staying away from a combo. 😉 Have a good rest of the week!

Annual Valentine’s Day stoning of happy couple held

Man born on Valentine’s Day only gets half the sex

From 123holidays.org

From 123holidays.org

Valentine’s Day coming a little early in relationship

Going out is too much hassle

Heart-shaped tub clogged again

Morning after romantic night ruined by sight of rose petals stuck to sweaty husband’s back

Romantic hostage negotiator offers bank robbers moon, stars

Girlfriend dumped after Valentine-candy-related weight gain

More vegetables evolving chocolate-sauce-filled-centers as evolutionary imperative

Romanic evening squandered on spouse

20,000 tons of pubic hair trimmed in preparation of Valentine’s Day

Onion References