Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 259

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Got to wonder why I selected that opening image.

Love the fact Congressional Democrats are having a public family fight over trade.

Congress continues to shamefully ignore infrastructure.

Interesting that to be Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton signed of statement about separating herself from the Clinton Foundation – but would it have been prudent for her to have a similar written statement with the Clinton Foundation?

Senator Bernie Sanders (D-VT) is challenging Hillary Clinton for the Democratic Party nominee for president. Here’s The Onion’s introducing us to Senator Sanders.

The headline is interesting: South Carolina Republican Refused Obamacare, Now Going Blind, Blames Barack Obama (see for yourself)

Because there was no need, the events around the Tom Brady, the New England Patriots, and deflating footballs reminds me of the Nixon administration and Watergate.

The current season of Dancing with the Stars has been better than I thought it would be when it started. From Noah’s inspiration to the Nastia’s (now eliminated) athleticism to Riker’s full-speed approach to Rumer’s artistry, a tip of the cap to them.

Earlier this week I posted about my journey as one of the Cincinnati Burger Guys. Love the banner below that I found on a blog. Meanwhile, I hope to join them for a burger in the future.
BurgerBanner

Speaking of hamburgers, here’s one of my favorite burger places in Cincinnati. Come on now – click here to see the menu … so, what would you order?

A shout out to AbyssBrain for this brilliant problem-solving flowchart. It’s worth the visit.

I enjoyed this post by Ocean Bream about the internet, brain activity, and behaviors.

Act 4 (Meats) of Meals: The Musical seemed to throw many for a loop. As I write this, acceptable songs that haven’t appeared from artists like Alan Jackson, Roy Orbison, Uncle Kracker, Les Paul, Manhattan Transfer, Fats Waller, Doors, Andrew Sisters, Neil Young, Ike & Tina Turner, and more. As always, quite the musical selection has been gathered.

It’s spring in Cincinnati, and summer is approaching – but, this video is for my southern hemisphere friends.

There will be a Saturday post as the Explore series resumes.

To lead you into this week’s headlines from The Onion, here’s their explanation of Super PACS.

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On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Anthropologists discover Ancient Greek Super PAC that helped shape first democracy
One year old still waiting for father’s first words
God realizes he forgot to put souls in humans
Child visits Ellis Island to see where grandparents once toured
McDonald’s reintroduces Hamburgler as attractive suburban dad

Interesting Reads
Books about evolution published before Darwin
Berlin: Compared to 70 years ago
Generations and partisanship
Columnist David Brooks on the center-right
The bacteria at Yellowstone
A personal look at Ukraine

Your Weekend Celebrations
(Weekend) Art on the Square Days, Calaveras County Frog Jumping Days

(Fri) Straw Hat Day, Day of Families, Nylon Stockings Day, Peace Officer Memorial Day, Hyperemesis Gravidarum Awareness Day, Endangered Species Day, O. Henry Pun-Off Day, NASCAR Day, Bike to Work Day, Pizza Party Day, MPS Awareness Day, Defense Transportation Day, Tuberous Sclerosis Day, Chocolate Chip Day, Sauvignon Blanc Day, Dinosaur Day, Over-the-Rainbow Day, Kangaroo Care Day

(Sat) Mike the Headless Chicken Day, Do-Dah Day, Mimosa Day, Piercing Day, Sea Monkey Day, Biographer’s Day, Learn to Swim Day, Armed Forces Day, Love a Tree Day, Coquilles Saint Jacques Day, Wear Purple for Peace Day, Pickle Day, Spaghetti-O Day

(Sun) Morel Mushroom Day, Neighbor Day, Hypertension Day, Information Society Day, Telecommunications Day, Neurofibromatosis Day, Pack Rat Day, Cherry Cobbler Day, Walnut Day, Turn Beauty Inside Out Day, Merry-Go-Round Day

Here’s a two-fer to send you into the weekend – one questionable leftover from the latest Meals: The Musical Act and one for Dale who recently saw him in concert. Have a safe weekend and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

On Satire Bits: Vol. 124

It’s been cold this week in Cincinnati – but at least I’m thankful that we haven’t received the snow continues to dump on the northeastern US. In the past 17 days, Boston has received 70+ inches (177+ cm)? That’s crazy! … and more is anticipated Friday and Sunday.

Life: The Musical official concludes on the next post. The epilogue focuses on life as whole, so submit songs that are about life, and hopefully special to you in some way … and I hope you will briefly share the why behind you choice. In other words, this is a chance to post a song about life that is important to you. Curtain time is Wednesday, 9:30 PM (Eastern US).

For your mid-week satire to propel you toward the weekend, I ventures into the depths of The Onion’s archival vault. Given yesterday’s post about education, I cleared the dust on many good ones. Any favorites? There’s also the Combo Challenge of making your own original headline from the words in the headlines below. For those wanting the extra challenge, try making a headline that’s not about education. My Combo is at the end.

Have a good rest of the week.

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Teacher hopes students can tell that he was once popular

Substitute teacher totally freaks

Gym teacher secretly hates nerds

Frustrated inner-city students running out of ideas to motivate teachers

Male substitute teacher cloaked in mystery

Nation’s substitute teachers what to know who threw that

Inspirational teacher cancelled out by every other teacher at school

Teacher’s sense of humor comes through in multiple-choice test

Gym teacher ensures students that bouncing wiffle balls on a parachute is a sport

Risk champ flunks geography test

French teacher informs student to tell her about the bathroom fire in French

Creative writing teacher announces plan to sit on edge of desk

Teacher sees potential in student with glasses

My Combo: Nerds motivate creative freaks to throw at balls of frustrated male

On Satire Bits: Vol. 123

Hump Day is here! Hope your week is going well so far.

Cincinnati has been cold this week, but we avoided the latest winter storm. While we were on the light rain side of the front, a more than foot (31+ cm) of snow and a fierce wind pounded my sister-in-law cross-state in Cleveland. Then again, is see that Boston has had 47 inches (120 cm) of snow in the past 10 days.

Now that was one crazy ending to the Super Bowl, which meant cheers for Audra and Mo, but tears for LB, Danica, and Christy. Even more interesting if one examines the important of events in the playoffs.

I’m in the process of learning to use Google Docs for conducting a survey and examining the results. For those who can volunteer less than a minute for five questions, please complete the short survey here. IF you get an Error on submission, please tell me in a comment and identify your answer to the cartoon question. This information will help me determine if your response arrived. Thanks!

Reminder that the next post is last act of Life: The Musical (Act 17) featuring songs with memory, memories, remember, remembering, remembered, or remembrance in the title. Show time is Wednesday at 9:30 pm (Eastern US).

For this week’s mid-week boost of satire, I’m using The Onion’s archival vault to for a journey through each year of school. As always, for those desiring a challenge, make your own satirical headline from the words in the headlines below the image. For those desiring an extra challenge: develop a headline that has nothing to do with school/education. My Combo is at the end (for those who dare to look, which is done at the viewer’s risk).

Have a good rest of the week.

Kindergartener being groomed for line-leader position

First-grade teacher apprehends mysterious coat-room urinator

Second-grade music student goes nuts with cowbell

Third-grade teacher sighs, then helps lost cause with long-division problem

Fourth-grade teacher to polish speech that it’s not third grade anymore

Everyone still remembers time you threw up in fifth grade

Group of sixth grade boys discover pile of naked women in wood

Seventh-grade life science class grossed out by having to dissect horse

Eighth grade reading list heavily favors stuff that sucks big time

Ninth grader thinks Romeo and Juliet might just be her favorite play

10th grade class watches Ben Hur for two weeks

High school junior wishes they are a senior

High school couples prepare for post-graduation breakup

My Combo: Juliet to polish nuts of naked Romeo in woods

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 218

On Politics
Nincompoop’s (aka Sarah Palin) comments about waterboarding at the recent NRA convention is just another example of most people blowing her off as she focuses on making money. I wonder about her popularity after President Obama leaves office./

Sean Hannity and others may have embraced Cliven Bundy, and LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling may have a lot of money – but while Bundy and Sterling got considerable air time, they represent a very small segment of Americans. The good thing about Sterling is that his headlines got Bundy out of the news.

As the White House and Congress continue their stalemate, here’s an interesting article about the active Supreme Court.

Will the Republican base embrace Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WIS) for his different stance toward the poor?

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Music in bar could stand to be louder, worse
New census report reveals US has over 360 million nobodies
Top theoretical physicists, R&B singers meet to debate the meaning of forever
Man has story for every stain on pants
Obama spends another night searching behind White House paintings for safe
Carlos Santana surprises wife with coupon for 45-minute guitar solo

Interesting Reads
Changing demographics in the US leading to the Next America
Saving Rosie the Riveter’s factory
The next Crimea: A place you may not know (from the Foreign Policy Research Institute)
The science of fat
Robert E Lee’s farewell address to the Army of Virginia (Smithsonian) l

On Potpourri
I’ve always support the US Postal Service (USPS). The fact that the US Postal Service loses money is no secret, but here’s an interesting tale of their inefficiency. Our recent move involved a change of address, but within the same suburban post office. When mail with the old address arrives, I thought the mail would switch from one carrier to another within the same post office. OH NO … that would be too easy. My post office sends the old mail downtown, which puts on a change of address label, and returns it to my post office for delivery to my new address.

Earlier this week I encountered this interesting question when completing a form: Which 3 were the most important factors in your decision to purchase this product? (Select 1)

Act 3 of Life: The Musical was a success. The act provide song titles with the following names: Abraham, Amy, Archie, Billie Jean, Billy, Boris, Catherine, Cathy, Daniel, Debra, Diane, Don, Eleanor, Elise, Elmo, Elsie, Elvis, Frank, Fred, Georgia, Holly,  Jack, James, Jane, Jesse, Joanna, John, Laura, Linda, Lola, Lucille, Mack, Marina, Mathew, Michelle, Nikita, Rachel, Rosalinda, Roxanne, Ruby, Sylvia, Sue, Tina Marie, Valentine, Valerie, Veronica, Victoria, Virginia, and Zorba.

No Saturday Morning Cartoon Classic this weekend, but there will be something.

Here are your weekend celebrations

  • (Weekend) Toads Suck Daze
  • (Fri) No Pants Day, Tuba Day, Truffles Day, Play a Ukulele Day, Space Day, Roberts’ Rule of Order Day, Mollusk Day
  • (Sat) Beer Pong Day, Join Hands Day, Hug Your Cat Day, Garden Meditation Day, Bladder Cancer Awareness Day, Free Comic Book Day, Armed Forces Day, Scrapbooking Day, Two Different Colored Shoes Day, Public Radio Day, Paranormal Day, Homebrew Day, Lumpy Rag Day, Press Freedom Day, Kentucky Derby Day
  • (Sun) Intergalactic Star Wars Day, Firefighters Day, Respect for Chickens Day, Lemonade Day, Baby Lost Mothers Day, Infertility Survival Day, Motorcycles Mass & Blessing of the Bikes Day, Orange Juice Day, Petite and Proud Day, Give Day, Laughter Day, Candied Orange Peel Day, Mayday for Mutts Day

To send you into the weekend, here’s something from The Piano Guys that will make you smile.Enjoy, have a safe weekend and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

On Satire Bits: Vol. 71

Returning from blogging break is always a bit frantic. At least I know that I can’t read all the posts I missed, but I do want to reconnect!

Tonight was the last night of my golf league, but our team let an opportunity get away for first place. Oh well, because we didn’t play well, we didn’t deserve it.

It’s time for a midweek boost of satire from The Onion. For that extra challenge, feel free to make your own combo headline from the headlines below. Mine is at the end.

Have a good rest of the week!

Area panties in a bunch

Sorority raises money at local stable with bikini horse wash

Stuffed rabbit decided to make a life in restaurant booth where it was left

Local yak makes plea for greater understanding between sexes

Pierced tongue fails to make local woman less boring

Cat prepares for anal display in owner’s face

Masochist dog enjoys being walked around on leash while naked

New poll finds majority of Americans thought we’d live inside computers by now

Purchase of jeans ushers man into exclusive, ultra-cool subculture of jean-wearing Americans

Winning lottery numbers obvious in hindsight

My combo: Local yak wearing sorority panties and leash prepares for ultra-cool display to boring naked owner