Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 260

Generally avoiding questions by Hillary Clinton (D-NY) is an interesting strategy. I wonder if it will cost her votes in the long run. Then again, there is plenty of time.

At least three more Republicans could very soon be joining the fray of seeking the nomination: Sen.Lindsey Graham (R-SC), Gov. John Kasich (R-OH), and former Gov. George Pataki (R-NY) … and more are on the way. It also appears former Gov. Martin O’Malley (D-Md) will be announcing on the Democratic side.

Fox News and CNN recently announced their selection criteria for the early Republican presidential debates. Although CNN has a Segment B for additional candidates, I would like to see a debate with the top 5 candidates being excluded.

Politico is a popular and reputable online news source about US politics. They recently expanded into Europe at politico.eu.

Speaking of Politico, here’s a gallery for political junkies about political guests with David Letterman.

This is interesting: A conservative economist and member of the Reagan White House explains how he believes Fox News hurts Republicans. For those wanting to know more, click here.

Here’s an excellent report by CNN about surveillance over the South China Sea.

Speaking of China, I want to know if one can read this blog in mainland China. Do you have any connections that can answer my burning question?

Attention bacon lovers. US bacon prices are 25% lower than a year ago.

It’s Memorial Day weekend – a 3-day weekend – the official start of summer vacation season- the Indianapolis 500 – parades, ceremonies, 21-gun salutes, pools open, picnics, outdoor activities, and more.

I thought the Dancing With the Stars Finals show was very entertaining … and Sharna Burgess was on every week. Cheers to Season 20!

Meals: The Musical returns next week, so I’ll announce the theme on the next Monday Morning Entertainment.

There will be a Saturday post as the Explore series resumes.

To lead you into this week’s headlines from The Onion, here’s their pros and cons about raising the minimum wage.

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Anthropologists discover Ancient Greek Super PAC that helped shape first democracy
One year old still waiting for father’s first words
God realizes he forgot to put souls in humans
Child visits Ellis Island to see where grandparents once toured
McDonald’s reintroduces Hamburgler as attractive suburban dad

Interesting Reads
Cyber-archaeology saving relics
Islam and feminism
Photo gallery honoring BB King
Trains: driven by drivers or engineers
Columnist Roger Cohen’s thoughts about living in Italy
Smartphones and personal medicine

Your Weekend Celebrations
(Weekend) Mudbug Madness Days, Polka Weekend, Old-Time Player-Piano Days

(Fri) Toothpaste Tube Day, Buy a Musical Instrument Day, Don’t Fry Day, Vanilla Pudding Day, Canadian Immigrants Day, Harvey Milk Day, Heat Awareness Day, Biological Diversity Day, Maritime Day, Goth Day, Title Track Day, Wig Out Day, Maritime Day

(Sat) Lucky Penny Day, Jazz Day, Polka Day, Pickle Day, Crohn’s & Colitis Day, Turtle Day, Heritage Breeds Day, Taffy Day, Day to End Obstetric Fistula

(Sun) Scavenger Hunt Day, Escargot Day, Judgment in Paris Day, Brothers Day, Tiara Day, Mary Had A Little Lamb Day

The start of a 3-day weekend in a USA is a good reason for a 2-fer to send you into the weekend .. one from 1981 and one from today (which happens to be a Cincinnati band) … and both are timely. Which did you watch? Have a safe weekend and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

On Satire Bits: Vol. 133

Greetings from San Diego … oops … I mean Cincinnati … but our current weather is fabulous! I spent the day on the golf course, but the weather and company was better than the golf. Oh well, that’s the way the game is.

Thanks for the positive reaction about the previous post about Martha. I enjoyed putting that one together, and the variety of emotions surprised me. As I mentioned to some in the comments, my intent was around a tribute – not sadness. Nonetheless, I’m glad to know that some were touched by the post.

Below the image are the headlines from The Onion for your mid-week bump in satire. Any favorites? Don’t forget the Combo Challenge by making your own headline from the words in the headlines below. My Combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Mother still searching for pre-school that focuses exclusively on her son

Email from Mom sent at 5:32 am

Man now too exhausted to repress both anger and sadness

Majority of Americans never use Physical Education after high school

Night of uninterrupted deep sleep really throws man’s day off

Breakthrough procedure allows parents to select sexiness of child

Trip to bar gives friends opportunity to sit around, do nothing in different place

Avoiding popular songs somehow accomplishment for local man

Study: Majority of frontal lobe occupied by thoughts of sausage links

Man on gurney has brief word with protagonist before entering ambulance

Apartment manager already knows to look out for tenant sending Minnie Mouse checks

Hollywood quietly shuts down after realizing entertainment a delicate matter of subjective opinion

My Combo: Man on gurney exhausted after searching for uninterrupted sausage links

On Satire Bits: Vol. 132

Hooray … the front has passed through, thus the backside will deliver several days of optimal weather. Simply fabulous … and this is great golf weather. Too bad I struggled in my last round.

Meals: The Musical is the next post. Act 4 features Meat, so song titles must include meat(s) or any meat commonly served. Caution against using animal(s) or any specific animal unless the specific animal appears on a typical menu. For instance, thumbs down to pig(s), but sausage, bacon, pork, and ham are acceptable. Seafood items are unacceptable. Curtain time is Wednesday, 9:30 pm (Eastern US).

Now for your mid-week boost in satire to lead you toward the weekend. Not only cheers to The Onion for their wonderful headlines, but don’t forget the Combo Challenge where you construct an original headline with the words from The Onion headlines below the image. My Combo is at the end. Any favorites below?

Have a good rest of the week. Hope to see you at the theater for Act 4.

Houseguest asks if host has blanket that’s never been washed he can use

Area woman can’t wait to get home and take-off uncomfortable persona

Study: Best method of finding job still excitedly circling newspaper listing with red marker

Barber’s paunch keeping touching customer

College encourages lively exchange of ideas

New poll finds 74% of Americans would be comfortable blaming female president for problems

Man always carries gun in case he need to escalate situation

Report: Majority of Earth’s potable water trapped in Coca Cola products

Man thinks going to Vegas for things other than gambling somehow less sad

Troubling report finds dreamingly sliding down back of door after kissing date on porch plummets 78%

My Combo: Area female finds gun in barber’s paunch

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 258

Biggest yawn of the week – Providing 3 new presidential candidates on the Republican side: Carly Fiorina, Ben Carson, and Mike Huckabee. Then again, additional candidates increases the odds of someone saying something stupid.

Several weeks ago I posted the graphic below showing our energy usage for the past year. Some of the reasons include LED lights in high-use areas, natural gas water heater and stove, programmable thermostat, and reasonable temperature settings.

EnergyUse1year

I asked my wife what song the handbell choir is playing for the final Sunday before the summer break, and a hit from years ago. Here’s Morning is Broken. Enjoy. Do you recall the artist who made it a hit?

Meals: The Musical returns next week, thus I will announce the theme in the next Monday Morning Entertainment.

No Saturday morning post this weekend, thus neither Cartoons or Explore features. Not that I don’t have a post ready, but I’m falling more and more behind, so I don’t want to make matters worse.

To lead you into the week’s headlines from The Onion, enjoy either a review of the latest Avengers film or links to the latest Republican presidential candidates” Carly Fiorina (R-CA), Ben Carson (R-MD), and Mike Huckabee (R-AR).

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Head of National Potato Council declares US in midst of potato renaissance
Sports drink company putting first advertisement on the moon
Hotels now charging customers for looking at items in minibar
Tiger Woods & Lindsey Vonn blame breakup on hectic sex lives
Man frantically returns to website that just crashed his browser
Fetus going to pretend he didn’t hear loud argument coming from other side of uterine wall

Interesting Reads
Unnecessary health care
Pew Research Projecting Religions to 2050
(Video) Left brain and right brain
The fossil record: What it shows
Interpreting chickens communicating 
(Slideshow) 166 years of riots & protests in the US

Your Weekend Celebrations
(Fri) No Socks Day, Free Trade Day, Animal Disaster Preparedness Day, Victory in Europe Day, Child Care Provider Day, Military Spouse Appreciation Day, Red Cross/Red Crescent Day, Ovarian Cancer Day, Giving Sharks a Voice Day, Coconut Cream Pie Day, Have a Coke Day, Iris Day, Empanada Day, Time of Remembrance & Reconciliation for Those Who Lost Their Lives During the Second World War

(Sat) Birth-Mother’s Day, Moscato Day, Hurray for Buttons Day, Train Day, Butterscotch Brownie Day, Cornelia De Lange Syndrome Awareness Day, Windmill Day, Peter Pan Day, Root Canal Appreciation Day, Stay Up All Night Day, World Belly Dance Day, Archery Day, Lost Sock Memorial Day, Fair Trade Day, American Indian Day, Migratory Bird Day, Letter Carriers Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive Day, Babysitters Day, Miniature Golf Day, World Belly Dance Day (For those, like Bulldog, needing an erotic belly dance)

(Sun) Mother’s Day, Shrimp Day, Lipid Day, Lupus Day, Mothers at the Wall Day, Clean Up Your Room Day

To send you into the weekend, here are the Stray Cats (including a young Brian Setzer) with Rock this Town. Do you remember this video? (If you can’t see it, try this.)Have a safe weekend and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

On Satire Bits: Vol. 131

Mid-week is here – which means Hump Day! Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike! What day is it?

Cincinnati weather is more like early summer than mid-spring, which is fine. After all, it’s all a matter of perspective and alternatives. I had my first night of subbing in a golf league close to my home. I played well, hopefully I will get many opportunities in the weeks ahead.

Thanks for the kind words and suggestions for my first venture into fiction (the prior post). I’m considering a challenge, thus wanting to know your thoughts about the following idea. All participants use the same story up to a point, then write their own ending within a certain word limit. What do you think?

On to the mid-week dose of satire from The Onion. For the extra challenge, create your own headline from the words in the headlines below the image. My Combo is at the end. Any favorites headlines? Have a good rest of the week.

Junior-high-school Badminton unit inspires 948 shuttlecock jokes

Man under mistaken impression he is own harshest critic

Labor Secretary horrified to learn some Americans working jobs they do not truly enjoy

Company to experiment with valuing employees

Man’s ironclad grasp of issue can withstand two follow-up questions

Teen crafting marketing image in garage hoping to one day win Grammy

Mathematical skill downplayed to get out of splitting check

Café Adds Heartbreaking Little Lunch Menu

English teacher on first date in ages lets dangling metaphor slide

Content writer awkwardly shows parents around website where he works

My Combo: Dangling teen crafting two mathematical questions

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 257

This past Tuesday, the Supreme Court heard a case regarding gay marriage. The case not only involves a Cincinnatian, but I also got to know him while working on a project about 8 years ago. Here’s a short series from the SCOTUS Blog about the case. (Part 1 and Part 2) … plus an article from the Cincinnati Enquirer about Jim in Washington for the Court.

Welcome to another edition of It’s Time for Truth with Presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX). Here’s the explanation from PolitiFact.

CruzSenPresidents

A very large, diverse local high school was going to have a Covergirl Challenge, a day when female students would voluntarily wear a hijab for a day as a diversity event. Some parents complained, and the principal reconsidered, thus cancelling the event. A student wrote this in her editorial published in the Cincinnati Enquirer. (The full text)

Some complaints from parents were that the event would make them or their kids uncomfortable. Getting rid of prejudice isn’t going to be comfortable. It’s going to be very uncomfortable and awkward and unfamiliar for people who are innately biased.

Cheers to Jeb Bush (R-FL) for going against the Republican flow regarding citizenship. Jeers to Rep. Steve King (R-IA) for wanting to change the Fourteenth Amendment of the US Constitution to accommodate his view.

Strength to the rescue workers in Nepal and comfort to those who lost friends and family.

The Blogging Blues post was well received. Like a fool, I thought it may be Freshly Pressed. Oh well. To me, the comments made by the regulars here were even better, which could turn into another post. Many thanks … and in blues post, I mentioned not worrying about stats … and during that post this blog surpassed a quarter of a million views. :D Thanks to all!

Attention Costco customers: Check the ice cream section to see if they have Cincinnati’s finest – Graeter’s (past post explains). I know it selling in my state for half the price as in grocery stores, so if you find it, tell me where (because I’m curious).

Act 3 of Meals: The Musical delivered a bountiful collection of sides including broccoli, butterbeans, cornbread, collard greens, eggplant, potatoes, vegetables,  quiche,  tomatoes, onion,  spaghetti, bread, butter, nuts, pork & beans, yams, and all topped with frim fram sauce … plus, (and to my surprise, a song with side dish in the title. The producer was pleased with only buzzer.

Because we’re beginning a new month, no Saturday Morning Cartoons or Explore this weekend, – so the next post features May. Meanwhile, Happy May Day.

To lead you into it’s headlines, The Onion offers important tips for going green.

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Baby has sinking feeling he left home without oversized multicolor plastic keys
Delusional man turning off laptop as if he’s done with it for the night
Ex-con hanging out with hallucinating voices that got him in trouble in the first place
Pharmaceutical rep assures doctor he personally tries every drug he promotes
Man proud of food he ordered

Interesting Reads
The Sultana: The anniversary of a shipping tragedy greater than the Titanic
Congressional effectiveness from the Bipartisan Policy Center
Responding to the Doolittle Raiders
A slideshow of the best British political insults
World Happiest Report (an article) (the report)
Shakespeare, women, and love
(Photo gallery) Animals for the Washington Post

Your Weekend Celebrations
(Weekend) Dandelion Days, Toad Suck Daze
(Fri) Tuba Day, No Pants Day, Mother Goose Day, Bubba Day, Batman Day, Loyalty Day, Chocolate Parfait Day, Law Day, Space Day, Lei Day, Save the Rhino Day, May Day, Amtrak Day, Global Love Day, Purebred Dog Day, New Homeowners Day, School Principals Day, Silver Star Day, Stepmothers Day, Mariachi Day

(Sat) Homebrew Day, Beer Pong Day, Play Your Ukulele Day, Naked Gardening Day, Baby Day, Brothers & Sisters Day, Bombshells Day, Truffles Day, Life Insurance Day, Scrapbook Day, Rule of Order Day, Free Comic Book Day, Join Hands Day, Bladder Cancer Awareness Day, Mayday for Mutts Day

(Sun) World Laughter Day, Two Different Colored Shoes Day, Lumpy Rug Day, Garden Meditation Day Hug Your Cat Day, Baby-Lost Mothers Day, Lemonade Day, Blessing of the Bikes Day (Motorcycles), Special-abled Pets Day, Raspberry Popover & Tart Day, Infertility Survival Day, Paranormal Day, Public Radio Day, Press Freedom Day, Chocolate Custard Day, Kite Day

The Association opened Act 3 with Broccoli, so two of their hits should also send you into the weekend. There are two hits, so take your pick, including both. Have a safe weekend and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 256

While I appreciate the No-Labels organization and their agenda as the National Strategic Agenda (for problem solving), in the end, politicians remain loyal to their party. Nonetheless, this is a good read.

The Senate’s delay of dealing with confirming a new Attorney General is the type of political theater I deplore. All presidential nominees should be acted upon, thus not treated as political footballs … and that’s regardless of the president’s party and the majority party in the Senate. If the senators are hiding behind Senate Rules, then I suggest changing the rules.

Welcome to another edition of It’s Time for Truth with Presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX). Here’s the explanation from PolitiFact.

CruzSmallBiz

Wayne LaPierre is the Executive Vice President of the National Rifle Association (NRA). Given a high position in many other organizations (if not most), remarks like he makes would have gotten him fired.

The Rock n Roll Hall of Fame recently inducted new members. Joan Jett before the Moody Blues? Joan Jett before Yes? That organization has no credibility – None, nada, zilch, zero. Their credibility level is near that of Baseball Commissioner Emeritus Bud Selig and Congress … and that’s not good company.

I had a lousy week of visiting your blogs. :(

Our energy provider recently sent us this graph regarding energy use.

EnergyUse1year

Meals: The Musical is scheduled to return next week, which means I will announce Act 3’s theme on the next Monday Morning Entertainment.

No Saturday Morning Cartoons this weekend, but Saturday will bring a new Explore post.

Milestone alert – Approaching a quarter of a million hits, thus should surpass next week.

Body cameras on police is getting a lot of attention. To lead you into it’s headlines, The Onion offers a list of pros and cons regarding this issue.

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Medical experts disappointed in man who failed to live up to life expectancy
Lethal injection least effective drug man took while in prison
Hand gestures transform friend’s story into immersive virtual reality experience
Relationship reaches point where breaking up, getting married would be equally huge hassle
Lovestruck Arabian princess begs father to spare John Kerry’s life

Interesting Reads
Columnist Dana Milbank on partisanship, the elected, and the electorate
Redefining India’s textile heritage
World War I Anzaks (and Anzak Day is Saturday)
How an octopus is coordinated
A short web & digital technology quiz from Pew Research Center

Your Weekend Celebrations
(Fri) Hairball Awareness Day, Satchmo Days, Meningitis Day, Arbor Day, Pigs in a Blanket Day, New Kids on the Block Day, Teach Your Children to Save Day, Puppetry Day, Sylvester the Cat’s Birthday, Natasha’s (Sesame Street) Birthday
(Sat) Anzac Day, DNA Day, Dance Day, Hug a Plumber Day, Bob Wills Day, Eeyore’s Birthday, Hairstylists Appreciation Day, Marconi Day, License Plates Day, Malaria Awareness Day, Go Birding Day, Herb Day, Penguin Day, Red Hat Society Day, Rebuilding Day, Save the Frogs Day, Sense of Smell Day, Spring Astronomy Day, World Day for Animals in Laboratories, World Healing Day, Veterinary Day, Tai Chi & Qigong Day, Telephone Day, Kiss of Hope Day, East Meets West Day
(Sun) Hug an Australian Day, Photography Day, Static Cling Day, Hug a Friend Day, Help a Horse Day, Audubon Day, Mother-Father-Deaf Day, Kids & Pets Day, Pretzel Day, Pet Parent’s Day, Richter Scale Day, Intellectual Property Day

There should be any doubt why these songs will send you into the weekend, Have a safe weekend and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.