Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 154

On Politics
Being out of the country during both political conventions and being away from the political ads (which Ohio leads the country) was a great vacation in itself.

The politics around the recent attack at the US Embassy in Libya demonstrates the lowness of the current state of politics.

Congressional Republicans are correct. The slow economic recovery shows that their obstinate policies haven’t worked.

Ohio is a battleground state for the state, and this poll shows how well informed Ohio voters are. A recent poll asked Ohio voters who they thought deserved more credit for the killing of Osama bin Laden: Obama or Romney: 63 percent Obama, 31 percent weren’t sure, and 6 percent said Romney. Republicans answered 38 percent Obama, 47 percent weren’t sure, and 15 percent Romney. Although it is probably a good example of bad polling, I wonder about the correlation of these results with most people in Ohio being Ohio State Buckeye fans.

Why did Gov. Romney’s pledge to keep “In God We Trust” on coins?

Because I missed the GOP convention, fortunately Jay Leno captured this.

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On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Prevent Identity Theft by Changing Identity Every Three Years
Hand-gliding Putin Leads Flock of Birds
Man Halfway Down Waterslide Remembers It’s 9-11
Homeless Man has No Idea What to Do with Visiting Parents
Woman Dumped on 15-Week Anniversary
Supreme Court’s New Agent Already Getting Them Better Cases

Interesting Reads
About ZZ Top’s Beards
Charts about “Are we better off than four years ago?”
A story about the pen
Political divisions between and within
Finnish educational reform

On Potpourri
I will post Saturday, but it won’t be a classic cartoon post – it will be my 1000th post so it’s time to celebrate! The post is getting its finishing touches, so invite your friends to visit and comment. Party starts between 8-9 AM (Eastern US).

Interestingly, throwing a party for myself and all the self-promotion I’ve been doing is so not me.

Many of you are aware of John Erickson, the one who comments on many blogs but didn’t have a blog … until now! Visit John to say hello.

Cheers to the life of Neil Armstrong who passed away while I was vacationing. He spent many years living a private life in the Cincinnati area. Given his private nature, his choice of burial at sea didn’t surprise me.

I know this is old news, but baseball player Melky Cabrera’s 50-day suspension is one thing, but his attempted cover-up method earns his a Dolt of the Year nomination.

Baseball announced my Cincinnati Reds will open the 2013 against an American League team. To me, just another reason to dislike MLB Commission Bud Selig.

Headline: Bristol Reacts to Levi’s Baby News … I say “Who Cares!”

In the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch … and here’s some music in advance of tomorrow’s celebration!

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On Satire Bits: Vol. 28

Getting back into my normal routine hasn’t been easy since returning from vacation. At least I’ve finally completed my rounds of visiting. Hopefully I haven’t forgotten anyone.

After 3 weeks away from golf league and seeing our lead drastically shrink, I had a strong return yesterday and the team did well too.  Meanwhile, I have been teasing with announcements regarding a celebration here on Saturday – which can spill into Sunday. Well – here is the scoop – Saturday will be post #1000! So, I invite you and all your friends for a visit. The more the merrier, so tell your friends to visit and comment.

A toast to GingerFightBack for saying he missed my headlines from The Onion. Without any further delay, here’s some midweek satire. Any favorites?

Last Male Heir Watches Movie Alone on Laptop

Chicago Cubs Combine Seven Players to form One Giant Player called “Chicagozor”

Reporters Struggle to Maintain Energy until Election

CSI Set to Perform at Next Super Bowl Halftime Show

“Player to be Named Later” in 1992 Trade Finally Named

Putin Learn Putin Behind Plot to Assassinate Putin

Local Women would have Baked Blueberry Muffins I Jury was Sequestered

Severe Allergic Reaction Causes Florida to Swell Up Twice Normal Size

Former Spy Telescopes Turn to Space

Mismatched Tupperware Lids not a Problem after Devastating House Fire

Physicists Discover Our Universe is Fictional Setting of Cop Show called “Hard Case”

Executive Quits Fast Track to Spend More Time with Possessions

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 153

On Politics
Mitt Romney’s selection of Rep Paul Ryan (R-Wis) did not surprise me. What has surprised me is the comparison by some partisan pundits of Rep. Ryan to Sarah Palin. He may be an ideologue, but he is not a nincompoop.

Selecting Gov. Chris Christie to deliver the keynote address at the Republican convention is a good choice.

As the Medicare rhetoric wars heat up, here are two interesting articles: one and two.

In his campaign for Congress, Joe the Plumber’s “Put a damn fence on the border going to Mexico and start shooting” is more than a goofy comment by someone who has no business being in Congress. It is a sign of the tone, tenor, and lack of sincerity in today’s political arena. Let’s hope that the majority of citizens in Ohio’s First District have enough sense. Sadly, even if he loses, he will receive too many votes.

Because VP Biden’s “chains” gaffe and the political aftermath received much media play, I sought and listened to the entire speech. (I wonder how many people did that.) Although it was a not the best metaphor, it still goes back to context – thus didn’t deserve the attention it got. Interestingly, Sen. McCain said the President Obama should replace Biden on the ticket. Senator, are you speaking as a partisan or from your experience?

Does anyone have friends who still believe President Obama was not born in the U.S.?

The Mute button on my TV remote is still working on the campaign ads and interviews with surrogates!

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Michael Phelps Returns to His Tank at Sea World
New Dating Site Matches Users with Partners They Deserve
Subway Introduces Pool-Water-Soaked Sandwich to Honor Michael Phelps
Long Jumper Imagines Transatlantic Flight as One Big, Long Jump
Herman Cain Lifts Suspension of Presidential Campaign

Interesting Reads
Disavowing Super PACS
Brush up on Your Fake Science
Washington Post graph of global temperatures since the late 1800s
Soul of the Olympics
The craft of ancient Belgian beer
An initial Christian response to Darwin

On Potpourri
As I wrote yesterday, the college football season is around the corner, which also means the bowl season is not far away. Given the number of teams required to fill the bowls, the NCAA standards for selections by the bowls, and the number of high-profile schools ineligible for bowls, the NCAA pathetically put their best foot forward by changing the standards.

These are for any enjoying Italy. Debra, an Australian who spends time in Italy, had this wonderful post from the area of both sides of my family. Earlier in this week, I posted about cruising into Portofino. On the same day, Margie also posted about this picturesque village.

William Shatner returns to Priceline ads, which means he survived the crash.

Sadly, I will not have a Saturday Morning Cartoon post this week. After all, it’s time for me to take a break. Although you may see me stopping by, I will return here in about 3 weeks. Meanwhile, I encourage everyone to visit the delightful bloggers I provide in the sidebar. Until my return, be safe, enjoy life, and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch … and enjoy this fun video.

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 152

On Politics
My hat is off to our Kabuki Congress for doing nothing overly stupid this week. Yep, one of the benefits of their summer recess.

A special thank you to the U.S. Supreme Court. As evident on more than one occasion from each side, your Citizens United decision has elevated the use of distortion and incorrectness to a new level.

Both presidential campaigns continue belittling the other while avoiding facing important issues of the day. Meanwhile, don’t forget PolitiFact and Annenberg Fact Check to examine the claims.

Abtwixt did this great post a few days ago about the separation of church and state. Combine it with my last post on this issue, you will have a lot to ponder.

On Headlines from The Onion

  • Scientists Say Venom Taken from Politicians Could Provide Medical Benefits
  • Blind Archer Sets New World Record before Accidently Murdering Eight
  • Obama Slips “Hope” into Speech for Fans
  • Romney Stuck in Endless Loop of Uncomfortable Chuckling
  • Area Family Awakens to Find Michelle Obama Tending Backyard Garden
  • World Leader Wondering Way He Met with Former Governor
  • Biden’s eBay Feedback Rating Dips Below 35 Percent

Interesting Reads
Columnist David Ignatius about Saudi Arabia
Columnist Kathleen Parker on First Ladies
Columnist George Will on the Dangers of Football
Darwin’s Finches
Christianity and History of Science Infographic
Three-Ingredient Recipes from Food and Wine magazine
Why Sand doesn’t Stick to Volleyball Players

On Potpourri
Woo hoo!!!! A break in the weather is possible for the weekend.

I continue to be discouraged by this summer’s decline in stats, but extremely appreciative to those who take the time to stop by … especially those who comment.

For fans of my weekend classic cartoon posts, no post this weekend because of a busy schedule.

This weekend we are celebrating my in-laws Diamond Anniversary (60th) with a grand party involving friends and family. That’s them on their wedding day. Below the pic is a video of one of their favorite songs. Have a safe weekend everyone. In the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

On Satire Bits: Vol. 27

Whew! Another warm night on the golf course. Fortunately, the humidity was reasonable and I’m good with water intake. Meanwhile, the new driver’s debut was an improvement, as was my putting. But on this night, my short chipping game prevented me from a pretty good score.

I just watched an entertaining semi-final beach volleyball match, and amazingly, the two US women’s teams will battle for the gold on Wednesday. Meanwhile, it’s time for some mid-week satire. Any favorites? Enjoy.

Peer Group Forces Man to have Opinion of Weird Al

Catholic Nutritionist Warns Against Transubstantiating Fats

Dead Daughter would have Wanted $220 Million Liability Settlement

Ghost of Red Knight Signs on as New Voice of God

Teen Zebra in Road Doesn’t Give a Shirt about Honking Driver

Kentucky Legislature Bans Gay Pet Weddings

Pretty Lame Playing Hard to Follow

“My Sharrona” Playing in Supermarket as Parent Slaps Child

Friend Chuckling at Computer Screen about to Read You Something Not Worth Hearing

Bats Shood Out of Waterslide Tunnels before Waterpark Opens

Dog Named Murph Lives Up to His Name

4-Year Old Shows New Doll the Ropes

On Satire Bits: Vol. 26

It was one of those head-shaking nights on the golf course. Oh well … it happens. Meanwhile, let’s move on to a mid-week dose of satire.

The debt European debt crisis is not new news by any means, however, leave it to The Onion to discover some of the measures individual countries are taking. Any favorites?

Austria: $5 surcharge every time anyone in the world watches The Sound of Music

Italy: Suspending all sewage and trash pickup services, effective 1993

Greece: Government to lay off thousands of government-employed anti-government protesters

The Netherlands: Releasing part two of Anne Frank’s diary

Finland: Increasing one of those European-sounding taxes, like the GATT, or the VAT, or the SCRAT, or whatever

Andorra: Tourism board charged with really getting the word out there about Andorra.

Poland: World War II–related tours now cost the usual price plus whatever is in one’s pockets and also that watch

Portugal: Quietly breaking away from Spain in the middle of the night and floating across the Atlantic in search of a better life

Germany: Subtly reminding the rest of Europe what happened last time they faced hyperinflation

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 150

On Politics
Gov. Romney is off campaigning overseas. Because then-candidate Obama did this in 2008, I guess this is the new normal.

I find it interesting that Gov. Romney uses “European-style government” in his campaign, but dodged the question in Great Britain about his opinion.

Although I frequently use my remote’s MUTE button during commercials, I encourage everyone to do yourself a favor: check what you hear. Two good sources on in my sidebar: PolitiFact and Fact Check. Meanwhile, President Obama’s commercial of Gov. Romney singing is quite MUTE worthy.

Senate Minority Leader McConnell (R-KY) states he is open to raising fees to enhance the revenue stream. Interestingly, that means penalties are taxes, but fees aren’t. Sorry senator, this is not a one-way street. Meanwhile, count me in on opposing the Democratic tax plan.

Wow! A big-named banker now wants to separate institutional and investment banking – thus reinstate the Glass-Steagal Act.

The Giffords shooting incident brought forth cries for gun control that faded. Now the Aurora theater incident has reignited the thought, but it will also fade. For well over 200 years, the US Supreme Court has left gun policy to the people, well, until DC vs. Heller (2008). Meanwhile, here is a powerful post from reader here. Thanks Val.

The odds of me shaking my head are good whenever Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) starts to talk. However, as little respect I have for her, I have less respect for the majority of the voters in her district.

On Headlines from The Onion
Pet Smart VP Rolls on Back, Exposes Belly when CEO Enters Room
Civil War Reenactor Accidently Uses Renaissance Fair Voice
Multivitamin Snubs Magnesium
Exhausted Cyclists Ask for Some Drugs so they can Finish Tour de France
Area Man has Dietary Habits of Hanna-Barbera Character
Hiccupping Man also has Song Stuck in his Head

Interesting Reads
The 18-Day Vice-Presidential Candidate
Essential Facts about the Federal Budget
Rome’s Pantheon
When Arts Meets Science (Thanks Roxie)
Discover of the 600-Year-Old Bra
Ten Oddest Ex-Olympic Sports

On Potpourri
Interesting batch of facts from the US Census Bureau that you can examine at the national, state, counties, and cities level.

With the summer Olympics in mind, here are two related stories. Fasab, a commenter here, recently posted his view of synchronized swimming. Also, enjoy this story about the ten oddest former Olympic sports.

Dolt of the Year nomination to Dan Cathy, President and CEO of Chick-fil-A restaurants. He is entitled to opinion, but as a CEO, he should watch what he says. Nonetheless, the City of Chicago shouldn’t block openings and permits.

Interesting batch of facts from the US Census Bureau that you can examine at the national, state, counties, and cities level.

This is the 150th post of Opinions in the Shorts. I guess this the Sesquicentennial OITS. I could go onto one of my marches to include as many meaningless factoids about 150 – such as there are 150 psalms in the Old Testament; or 150 is the sum of when adding the eight consecutive prime numbers (starting with 7), but I will spare you the trivia. Meanwhile, here’s the first OITS posted November 25, 2008 – oddly, a Tuesday. Too bad that video is no longer available because the secret presidential handshake between Presidents Bush and Obama (from Jimmy Kimmel) had me laughing!

Cheers, a classic cartoon post will go up this weekend.

To send you into the weekend, here’s something grand and dramatic for you to enjoy. Have a safe weekend everyone. In the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.