The story below is the revised version of my first attempt at fiction. I issued a challenge to develop a new ending: a) after “The music ends” and b) in 75 words or less.
New endings will either be posted as comments on this post or as the whole story with the new ending the reader’s blog with links to this post. See the Challenge page for more information as long as it remains published.
I encourage others to read all the endings. Do you have a favorite ending? Thanks for participating.
The music starts – its tempo and rhythms define the dance. He approaches her table, and extends an inviting hand. She accepts. They take to the floor. He offers a hand and a frame. Again, she accepts, but looks away while in hold as if to say, “I’ll dance – but I’m not interested.”
They move to the music’s sharp, fiery rhythms that are intertwined with sensuality. Their eyes continue gazing in opposite directions to avoid a visual connection – yet, their bodies touch.
They dance – they move – sometimes slow – sometimes fast – but always sharp and to rhythm.
He rolls her out – they flick in unison. He tugs to roll her back into his arms. She shrugs him off by returning to hold with her head turned away. Their steps continue.
He steps back – a lunge – a corté. She steps forward and raises her leg against his, and slowly moves it downward as a caress. He notices – she’s got his attention. As he returns her to upright, their eyes connect through a glimpse – yet each looks away.
The pace seeming hastens. The musical beat remains steady. Their moves remain sharp. Their eyes are starting to communicate to the other through glances.
She leans her body into him and her head is no longer facing away. They lock their eyes for the first time, and her eyes and face speak to him when. She places her head on his chest.
The normally sharp fans are now slow and smooth – yet still to the music’s rhythm. As she turns, his right hand slides naturally along her sleek frame. He notices the curvature of her hips. His head is not as high as he looks toward her with hopes of connecting again.
To him, her face displays desire. Her eyes are closed, but only she knows why. They are now in another place. To him, they are in the midst of passion. To her, she is the seductress who has succumbed to his fantasy.
He responds to the music’s fire with 8 fast steps down the floor. He rolls out as before, but on her return, she is close – and her right hand slowly caresses his face. The music ends.
They pause – each smiles to the other. She says, “Great dance”. He responds, “Absolutely” as they high-five.
Sounds of the different tempo and rhythms of the next song now filling the hall as they walk off the floor without knowing the thoughts of the other. One looks at the other saying, “Now that’s a tango.”
(The music ends.) “The music’s stopped,” he says.
“Has it?” she asks. She’s still close, moving with him.
“We are making a scene.”
“I think we were already doing that,” she says. There’s a murmur from the crowd. “Told you I wasn’t interested. I just like to dance.”
And so he moves with her. The music is well and truly gone. She is breathing into his neck. “Now this,” she whispers, coming closer to him, “is a tango.”
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Very nice.
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Craig,
Loved your twist away from dance. My wife, who reads a lot of fiction, appreciated your ending. Well done!!!
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Hey it’s easy when the whole story’s written for you!
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Trent,
Wow … you took my heat, reduced it, then moved to the superburner! Love it!
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Thanks Frank. This was a lot of fun, I must say.
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Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for sharing your passion for writing.
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Such a romantic… write romance novels on the side, Trent?
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Trent also goes by Fabio.
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😂
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Ha! I wish… but I am a super duper romantic, to be honest.
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You cannot hide that fact with this text…😉
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Hey who’s hiding??? I’m a shameless romantic. Just ask my wife! Okay, wait, maybe don’t…
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Ha ha!!! Please don’t hide it! Rare are the women who don’t appreciate this!
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No hiding, I promise!
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👍
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Trend, you are good!
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Hey thanks Elyse. You going to toss your hat into this ring?
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Probably not. I have friends coming in and I live in a stye. Or I did.
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But it’s only 75 words… that’s about ten sneezes. Two apples. Twelve jumping jacks.
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Fourteen Word Press Comments…
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You know, I have noted that you are fairly prolific in that regard…
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Oops … I’ve lost it 🙂 … prolific?
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Apologies… was replying to our bud Elyse.
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Comments are easy! I often think I should just become a serial commenter!
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Like Tony the Tiger or Toucan Sam? That would be way cool. Ugh, my humour has seriously gone down the toilet… but you are really one of the best commenters out there you know.
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I’ll agree with that.
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While I do love me some cereal, I like the continuation of a serial. It’s a killer!
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Arghhhh!!!! I dressed up as a cereal killer for Halloween once. Slapped cereal boxes all over me and then stuck knives into them. It slew the street. One other Halloween, me and a buddy bought a ratty old mattress from the salvation army and cut out its innards so that we could climb into it. Picture a vertical bed walking with four legs, two heads and two arms and you’ll get the picture. But I never lacked for a place to sleep and the girls all wanted to lie on us… sweet.
Now that I’m totally off topic… sheesh Elyse. I like the sound of that.
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Now that would be a great pic to post!
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Never! Okay well maybe. Perhaps when you share a pic of your curly red locks?
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I’m pic is several places in my blog. …. and my hair is brown and straight.
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Ooops sorry, I thought Elyse had posted that. By no means do I think you have curly red locks, Frank. Nothing wrong with it if you do… okay, I’m going to go do something else now…
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Now that’s funny!
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I’m going to have to tell my son about the cereal killer costume. BRILLIANTLY,
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Ha ha, Trent! You are a hoot!
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… and a partridge in a pear tree.
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How festive, Frank. So, you’ve accumulated a number of wonderful endings… a satisfying experiment, no? Well done by the way, this was totally fun and most importantly for me, totally a different experience.
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This went beyond my expectations. Simply awesome!!! … I got the idea after several panned my original ending with the high fives. (Although I wanted the sudden change in direction.) … so I thought – hey – make it a challenge … and woo hoo!!!! It worked.
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I saw some of your comments on the high five and why you did it. I hear you, but I don’t think it necessarily worked for me and I think I know why. I guess it just wasn’t earned through the story – there wasn’t even a hint of build up that that would be the conclusion. It appeared to come out of no where and sometimes that takes you out of a story. Still, there are no rules in writing in my opinion and I will say one thing: it’s an ending that was absolutely memorable, and that’s what’s really important. So good on you for that, and good on you for this truly interesting experiment. Pleasure to meet some of your chums too, they have a real sense of humour.
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There is a ballroom dance community … people dance with others … and I would imagine one doesn’t know what the other is thinking – so that’s probably where that came from … and yes, high fives happen! But I was careful at making sure I (the author) was the only one inside both minds, but trying to make sure they didn’t know what was going in with the other. Best way to say it is that I wanted the tension with the readers – not the dancers. Hope this makes sense.
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Very much so. They say the reader should know what is going on even if the characters don’t… but I never buy that. I don’t buy any of the rules, other than that it’s fun to snap them up and feed them to the fire. Like I said – your original ending was super memorable.
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Thanks .. and remember, it was my first venture into fiction – and who knows when the next one will be. … But I can say that I learned a lot – and hopefully the rewrite shows improvement.
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Because I’ve been a tad prolific on this post… I just want to say, it was a pleasure to meet you, Trent!! 😉
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Hey very nice to meet you too Dale! This was a fun time.
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😀
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I’m posting this for Craig @ Entertaining Stories http://coldhandboyack.wordpress.com
(The music ends.) She pulls him close, and slips a tracker onto the back of his jacket. No larger than a single thread, it will never be noticed.
She allows her hand to slide down his arm, until they part at the fingertips. A single tear runs down her cheek as she makes her way to the restroom.
Screwing the silencer on her pistol, she speaks into her wristwatch. “He’s marked. Make sure you have my money ready.”
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Crap, I wish I’d thought of this one… reminded me suddenly of the dance scene from True Lies.
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Yes! It does make me think of True Lies! Fun stuff!
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Love that movie. They need to make a sequel.
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They do!
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That wasn’t even on my mind when I wrote this, but I can see it now. Glad you liked it.
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(And, because I’m weird:)
(The music ends.) “That was great,” she tells him. “I’m so happy, you wouldn’t believe how happy I am… Here, let me show you.”
She picks him up with a hand and throws him into the air. He hollers as he comes perilously close to the rafters. But before he can land, she’s jumped into the air with him, caught him, and bashed a hole through the roof. Just like that, they’re flying.
“Well,” she says, “ever danced up here before?”
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Trent,
The guy just danced with Superwoman!!! …. thanks for both of your endings … and the endings here so far are awesome!
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I think I have had a dream about that before… wouldn’t that be sweet?
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Which reminds me of the ending Archon wrote … but have to visit his blog to see it … I put the link in my reply to him … it’s awesome.
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Will do.
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Ha ha! Alrighty then…
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To the moon!
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My alternative ending
(The music ends.) She keeps her hand on his face and says, “Now that’s a tango.” Knowing his thoughts, he smiles and nods. He walks her to her table to the different rhythms of the next song.
She invites him to sit. They cheerfully talk. Several songs later, the slow, Spanish rhythms captures their ear. The Bolero – the dance of love. They dance, and their night is now young.
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Yep… I like this one too, Frank!
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I took out the high-5 for you & the other high-5 naysayers.
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We are awful for naysaying your high-5!
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I took it in stride because I wanted a sudden change in mood. … and the naysayers actually demonstrated that I achieved what I wanted to.
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Exactly!
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Reblogged this on Entertaining Stories and commented:
Hey everyone, here is Frank’s alternate ending game. Get in on the fun. My alternate ending is posted here along with some other fun ones.
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(The music ends.) Yet, they dance on slowly, then quickly and always rhythmically.
Everyone else, silently watching, hears deft feet sweep the floor, feels adoring hands caress wanting bodies and holds their collective breath.
The dancer’s eyes almost lock. Words from wanting mouths’ avoid meeting.
Tears are heard falling down cheeks of those following wanton desires.
Suddenly, abandoning needs of the dance, their perfect movements unite in defiance. Lips to lips, their dance ends. A new music begins.
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Resa,
Whew … more heat – my forehead is sweating! “A new music begins.” … Hot hot hot. … Thanks for joining in.
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OK… Gonna go take a cold shower now! 😉 Love this, Resa!
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Yay!!! Thanks! 🙂
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Thanks for coming up with such great participatory ideas! If I hadn’t been so engulfed in work, it would have been nice to do a post on my GLaM blog & use a few shots of appropriate murals.
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Well … that’s an idea that you can still do.
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Ok, Frank. Here we go! Hope you like it. I had to cut, of course. I’m used to 100 words at least. 🙂
(The music ends.)
He glanced at her across the room. As if their dance had never happened, she laughed and sipped wine. He would ask her to dance again. But when he looked for her curves, she was nowhere.
The next morning, he remembered the caress of fingertips. His wife had risen early for a tennis match and was back already.
“Honey, I’d like you to meet my new doubles partner.”
It was her. His partner.
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Amy,
Good one …. but YIKES … that would be scary!
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I turned your lovely dance into a horror story, didn’t I? It’s fatal attraction a la tango/tennis!
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Seeing all the different endings has been a lot of fun for me! … so loud cheers for your twist.
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Great! It was a lot of fun. I’ll swing by to check out the others!
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Trust you to give it that kind of twist, Amy. Well done.
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Thanks!
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Oy! Trouble’s a-brewin’!
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(The music ends.) As they slowly parted to their own tables their hearts were beating fast.
Beating so hard that the music almost seemed In rhythm.
She took a sip of her ice water and slowly looked up to see his dark eyes eyes were still watching her every move. She wiped her lips from the ice water and never broke the state.
They both got up simultaneously and walked towards each other for a new tango.
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Maryam,
The heat continued into an instant connection … and as I wrote in my alternative, and their night was young. … thanks for participating.
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Hot, hot, hot! Maryam! Love this.
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I was going to link my post here but will do as everyone else!
(The music ends)
He walks her back to her table, flushed and bright-eyed, and raises her hand to his lips. “Until next time”, he whispers, and walks away.
She shakes her head and sits down to catch her breath and is startled by her boyfriend’s voice. “So, really, there is nothing going on between you two, right? Sure as hell didn’t look like it to me. Do you have something to tell me?”
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Dale,
You surprised me with this ending as the boyfriend came out of nowhere. Interestingly, I can see this happening!
FYI: your pingback showed up on the original post.
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Had to bring in an unexpected element! 😉
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I liked your unexpected.
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I’m so far behind…..took me 15-20 minutes to read down this far!!!!! WOW! I think you’ve started something good, aFa…and it just gets better and better. What fun. So….is this the one of Dales you eluded to in response of/to….something I’ve now forgotten? This is good but I do like Trents, too. So many choices………!!!!
Well done!
And, while I’m here, absolutely like your blogging “community” post. So true what all commenters have mentioned. Adding to…..there seems to be an innate understanding of silence when silence occurs. A space that is there and being held open. Saved, if you will, when, until, if ever…the silence becomes what it was…colourful. RRR
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I agree with you Raye! Trent’s was Fabio-lous!
So true what you say about the silence. After Mick was hospitalised and then passed away, I was silent from the blogging community. Well, of course I was. When I returned and explained my absence, the love that came my way was almost overwhelming. My heart filled so big that it was like a confirmation that what goes on within these “walls”, for lack of a better term, is a most wonderful thing.
And just think! Through you, I met Frank and well, let us just say another huge plus in my life!
Love to you both! xoxo
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Dale & Raye … Trent did two …. which one rocks the most in your worlds?
Great examples of the impact a blogging community can have on a person. And yes …. I consider myself to be lucky that have positive relationships from so far away.
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For me it was the fill-out romantic one…Superwoman…not so much!
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Raye,
I’m happy that you found your way to this post because I knew you would enjoy it. Oh yes … much reading here at this point, but hey – great variations!
Great point about the understanding of silence. The counterpoint being that silence also causes worries.
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Well done Frank. This was a great short story when you originally published, and it’s a marvelous crowd-gathering challenge. I’ll be back tomorrow to see all the great variations. 🙂
My torrid tribute and skewed salute to Frank’s fancy fandango….uh, tangled tango, is published as a complete post over at the Archon’ Den, and linked back here. Feel free to sashay over and express your awe. 😉
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Archon,
Your ending made me laugh as you did a brilliant job of taking the tension to another direction.
NOTE TO ALL. At this time, Archon’s story is linked back to the original, so here’s the link to his version. https://archonsden.wordpress.com/2015/07/13/the-dance/ … gotta love it!
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That was great, Archon! Dang! Wish I’d thought of it! 😉
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Absolutely awesome ending! You’re a clever man, Sir.
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So much fun, Frank! I loved them all, but Craig’s was really “wow!”
BTW, I loved the rhythm and pace of your words.
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Merril,
I loved Craig’s twist, too! Definitely a change in the story’s direction. My wife, who loves that type of fiction, enjoyed that one. …. and thanks for the kind words.
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You’re welcome! I nominated you for the 3 day quotation challenge–if you have the time or inclination. https://merrildsmith.wordpress.com/2015/07/13/3-quotes-3-days-day-3/
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Thanks for that.
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Here’s one from Tom Meriman … so please visit.
https://wellheregoes.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/the-music-ends/
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Thanks, Frank… I think I’ve got the link to you sorted now…
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Got it … and thanks again. You can tell that I’ve interacted with your readers. Interesting variations over here, so worth checking them out. You one of about four who posted on their own site.
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I hope nobody else wrote what I wrote. I wasn’t smart enough to read everyone else’s before finishing mine. Oh well…
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Pingback: The Music Ends | Beyond the Sphere
Oh, I don’t know, Frank. I can’t decide on my favourite ending… I like the Superwoman one (I should have gone down that route!), but then again, I liked the boyfriend one… and the ex-wife one… and the tennis partner one… and the Bolero one… too many! Too many to choose from!
It was a fun challenge though, and as I have two left feet, very challenging as well!
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Well stated because many good ones. Most of those submitting at least dabble in fiction, but are a few like me who are neophytes.
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[The music ends.]
‘If only’, she sighed.
‘What?’
‘If only you did anything with the passion you dance’, she finally opened her eyes and stared into his, it was clear they were not strangers but instead knew each other well.
‘Truly, if only you had learned to dance with passion before this’.
‘I always did, you failed too partner me you fool’, she sighed again, ‘the papers are with the attorney sign them’.
She turned and walked away.
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These things only come out too late, don’t they?
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All too often they come out after the music ends.
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Val,
We haven’t had a divorce twist, so why not! I had no clue that was coming … so well done! … and thanks for participating.
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Everyone wants to be a romantic Frank. I on the other hand, well I am simply twisted. Glad you ‘liked’ it.
😉
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… and twisted is OK.
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)The music ends.) He responds to the music’s fire with 8 fast steps down the floor. He rolls out as before, but on her return, she is close – and her right hand slowly caresses his face. Their eyes are locked for moments that transcend the time and place. She does not break away and whispers in his ear.
“I’m married,” he says.
“I know that silly. It doesn’t matter to me.”
“It does to me.”
She pulls away and looks down.
“I’m sorry,” she says.
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Oh dear…
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Hey Dale … thanks for reading and commenting on all the endings. 🙂
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You know me… Gotta stick my nose in, whether or not it’s my “bidness”! ☺️
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John,
Interesting how our alternatives parallel at the start before they diverge. Also interesting how many endings have focused on an aspect of relationships. Cheers to your efforts … and thanks for joining in the fun.
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With two dancers there is a relationship even if it’s not personal.
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Good point.
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Nice one, John.
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Your story is really good, Frank. Your ending is very nice and keeps the story quite “real,” I think. But I do like the “tracker” and the suggestion that our gentleman is a marked man. Great screenplay material!
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Thanks, Debra. It’s a tough job, but a girl has to make a living.
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Debra,
Glad you enjoyed these … and I hope you read the ones on the links. … I loved the tracker too because Craig’s ending was so unexpected.
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This was a lot of fun, Frank. You have some very creative followers. I’m glad I got to participate.
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Craig,
There is a lot of good stuff here … and thanks for not only your participation, but your promotion.
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I am thoroughly enjoying all the endings, Frank. This is fun.
I’m not coming up with anything tonight Frank, and I forgot to plan ahead. So I will just go with the others. I’ll take one of each.
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Elyse,
This was more of a blast than I expected. I hope you also read the ones who posted on their sites (links are in the comments).
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I did not. I have guests in. That’s part of why I didn’t write one.
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Reblogged this on QBG_Tilted Tiara and commented:
Frank’s fabulous challenge. Read the original, read all the alternative endings, comment or write your own. Such fun.
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This has been a fun read for me this morning. It was entertaining, hot, steamy and full of angst. 🌹
I thoroughly enjoyed everyone’s endings. Some were better than others but all of them could easily be your ending. Of course, your story was perfection for them to take over from.
I hope to participate soon when my energy improves. For now, I’m off to read the ones who posted on their blogs. Thanks for having so many interesting things for us to respond to on your blog.
Isadora
p.s. I think Dale should get the award for “Most Responses”. She’s fantastic !!! 😄
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Well thank you, Isadora!!!
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Your very welcome, Dale. You are so dedicated. I want to be just like you when I gorw up. Mmmmm … I really don’t want to grow up. I’ll just admire you.😄
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Ha ha! Grown up? Not me!!!
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Gotta agree with that.
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😛
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Isadora,
I knew you would like this post. The variations are awesome, and I can’t thank the participants enough.
Oh yes … I applaud Dale on her efforts … I think she’s had as much fun as me!
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You got that right, Frank! I did have as much fun as you did! 😀
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A toast for that! …. and good morning.
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🍷🍷
And a good morning to you!
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LOL … there may be room out there for a comedy act. But, then, we’d all miss out.
Keep the fun going. Laughter helps heal in us so many ways. Thanks Guys !!!!
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I know what you mean. Actually related, I hope you read the link that Archon wrote. The link is actually in my reply to him.
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Oh, yes … I read the ending from Archon. It was hilarious !!!! 😄
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Gotta love it!
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This was so much fun to read. I love the one that starts with “She leans her body into him…”. It’s just so darn romantic. And I think you know I love a romantic, mushy moment Frank :). Now I need to go buy a new chick book LOL.
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Kay,
The leaning moment was in the original story that was for everyone .. .but a turning moment in the story!
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You sure? Wait of course you’re sure. I have to go back and read it again.
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Oh yes … I wrote that … the alternative endings didn’t start until after “The music end.”
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Pingback: Alternate Story Ending Challenge – To Breathe is to Write
Ok, Frank, finally got mine posted! Everyone’s were so good!
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Hot, hot, hot Jackie! Loved this (funny, I included the same video in mine!)
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Jackie,
Love it … and thanks for posting it on your site. Hooray to all!
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You won my heart with this !! I absolutely loved the way you brought the twist and the ending. I am out of words for appreciation. You are so talented my friend 🙂
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Pingback: Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 268 | A Frank Angle
I finally made it to this post, I enjoyed reading those various endings, here is mine…
(The music ends)
“Mr. Howard, why are you out of bed?”
“My Nancy…we were dancing…like the old days…she was here…” His words trail off as reality overwhelms him.
“Yes, I’m sure she was Mr. Howard, now come on, you know you mustn’t get out of bed alone.” The nurse takes a firm but reassuring grip of his frail arm and gently leads him back to bed.
He lays down and tears roll into the pillow. “My beautiful Nancy.”
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Vanessa,
Glad you chimed in … and with a different twist, too! Outstanding … though sad … but real. Many thanks!
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Oh Vanessa! This was a most beautiful story. A little “Notebook” moment! I got goosebumps.
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Aww, thank you! 🙂
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This is quite a twist. Certainly real. Exquisite ending
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OH, darn it’s been the nuttiest week and I forgot. But what a great collection of variations. Well worth the time reading all of them!
Fun, Frank – you do know how to throw a party!
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Mouse,
This was a great success, and I had a lot of fun. A lot of twists, especially Craig and Archon who went in very different directions.Speaking of parties … I need to have another one! Hmmmm ….
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This was awesome, Frank! Look at what you started! I don’t think I would have the courage to take something like this on, so cheers to you! It was so much fun reading all of the endings. Of course the whole premise of your story just melts me and all of your other female readers I’m sure, because the dance off the floor is always what’s most exciting. You’ll have to do this again!
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Kelly,
I knew you would enjoy this. Don’t know if you followed the links, but good ones there as well. Archon’s was very different.
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His was hilarious! I am following him now as well as others from your post. Really enjoyed it!
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Archon is a hoot!
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Sounds like it! Should be fun following him!
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A crazy Canadian.
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You are Lucky, Mr. Frank, to have a bunch of us Canadians following you! 😀
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I like my northern neighbors!
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And you LOVE some of them…. xoxo 😉
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😀
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Another one? lol
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I enjoyed reading your first attempt at fiction Frank. Will there be more?
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Colline,
Thanks … but I don’t foresee other attempts on the near horizon. Bottom line, time will tell.
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Beautiful and artistic Frank. Wish you all the very best.
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