On a Break Time

A partial list of a blogger’s struggles:

  • Lack of writing time
  • Inability to keep up with reading others
  • Slow responding to comments
  • Throwing together a post

Yep … that’s me at the moment. I don’t need recharging time, I simply need to get take care of matters at hand. Therefore, I’m taking a break from regular posting … but hopefully not from visiting and keeping in touch. I don’t know how long, but I do know this is the right thing to do. Then again, I just may sneak something in.

I can’t leave you without some of the week’s best from The Onion.

  • Study finds “Blame” now fastest human reflex
  • Seventh grader only has two weeks left to acquire cool identity by first day of school
  • Sex toy discreetly shipped in plain dildo-shaped box
  • Date’s flaws coming at woman faster than she can rationalize them
  • Report:Average American spends 27% of lifetime in the way
  • Exxon-Mobil and Chevron locked in bidding war to acquire senator

I also know you want some reasons to celebrate this weekend.

  • (Weekend) Kool Aid Days, Hobo Days
  • (Fri) The Date to Create Day, Happiness Happens Day, Cat Day, Oldie Day, Sneak some Zucchini onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night, Art Day, Frozen Custard Day
  • (Sat) Bowling Day, Garage Sale Day, Veep Day, Indigenous People Day, Send an Email Day, Rice Pudding Day, Hold Hands Day
  • (Sun) Duran Duran Day, Skyscraper Appreciation Day, Smithsonian Day, S’Mores Day, Paul Bunyan Day, Lazy Day, Family Day, Spoil Your Dog Day, Lion Day

But let’s break with a sing-a-long song … and one that wasn’t part of the last Life: The Musical, but it is a classic. So, until next time, belly up to the bar and clean your pipes to sing along … plus, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

On Satire Bits: Vol. 106

Happy Hump Day to all. How’s your week going so far?

Since returning from the weekend trip, I’ve returned to my water superintendent duties for our building … which means I move hoses and sprinklers for several hours as our we and another couple in our building are assisting the builder so we can get a green grass environment … Plus, I’m trying to catch up on my blogging from the missed weekend.

Just returned from the golf course, and I was happy with my overall play tonight. Rest of the week has a variety of events scheduled, along with more watering. Then again, maybe mother nature will help out with some natural rain.

Because I haven’t given an eye update in some time, the issue still exists … but all is stable. I don’t see the retina specialist for another 5 weeks, so unless something drastic happens between now and then, it’s wait and see.

Moving on to your midweek dose of satire, as usual, the satirical headlines below are courtesy of The Onion. I’m always curious to discover when you have a favorite. For those ready to accept the extra challenge, create your own “combo” headline by using only the words in the headlines below. My Combo is at the end. Have a good rest of the week!

Criminal prosecuted to fullest extent of budget

Meat prices skyrocket after cow smashing machine gets all beefed up

Legal Dream Team of co-workers counsel woman on strategy for speeding ticket

Friend takes liberty of ordering $40 of appetizers for entire table

Elderly man can’t wait for senility to erase lifetime of regretful memories

Each line of MasterCard billing statement evokes infuriating vacation memory

Two dozen restaurant patrons made violently ill from marriage proposal

Area idea so crazy it just might work

Snowden: NSA agents pass around nude photos

Report confirms no need to make new chairs for the time being

My Combo: Legal Dream Team prosecuted crazy cow for speeding and smashing nude elderly man in new chair

On a Monday Laugh In

Although not in my normal posting time slot, Happy Monday to all. I’m late this week because we returned home later than initially anticipated. Besides, I still haven’t replied to comments from Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.

We drove cross state to Cleveland on Friday for a variety of events – primarily for my wife’s high school reunion and attending one-day of the Bridgestone Invitational Golf Tournament at the famed Firestone Country Club, which has annually hosted professional golf since 1954 … and in 1974, three tournaments!

We initially planned to attend on Saturday, but the times were changed in anticipation of horrible afternoon weather … so we attended Sunday – which included an hour rain delay. My mother-in-law’s favorite golfer was Phil Michelson, so since she passed away last December, my wife wanted to follow him … and she claims her mother’s karma was with Phil has he whipped off 10 birdies in route the tournament’s second best round. He was fun to watch … and cheers to Rory McIlroy for winning … but because of the 3+ hour drive home, we didn’t stay until the end.

Outside of National Historic Places, Ohioans don’t think of their state was having a national park … but it does – Cuyahoga Valley National Park. Given we had about two hours before we had to be at my sister-in-laws, we went to the park’s Visitor’s Center before going to Brandywine Falls (Google pics) and one of the intact locks in the Erie Canal. Then I joined our brother-in-law for a round of golf while my wife went to her reunion. Because of the change in the Saturday’s golf tournament schedule, we returned for a Saturday morning walk on the canal’s towpath, then spent the rest of the day relaxing at my sister-in-laws.

Enough of my weekend, how was yours? Come on now … tell us something!

Celebrations for your week

  • (Week) Tree Climbing Days, Clown Week, Simplify Your Life Week, Breastfeeding Week, Assistance Day Week, Exercise With Your Child Week, Farmers’ Market Week, Fraud Awareness Week, Old Fiddler’s Week, Stop on Red Week, Exhibitor Appreciation week, Rock for Life week, Bargain Hunting Week, Psychic Week
  • (Mon) Chocolate Chip Day, Champagne Day, Assistance Dog Day, Nut Monday, Picnic Day, Youth Day, Coast Guard Day
  • (Tues) National Night Out, Oyster Day, Underwear Day, International Beer Day
  • (Wed) Play Day, Wiggle Your Toes Day, Root Beer Float Day, Fresh Breath Day, Hiroshima Day
  • (Thurs) Lighthouse Day, Particularly Preposterous Packing Day, Purple Heart Day, Raspberries & Cream Day, Sea Serpent Day

To help you start your week, here’s a clip of the zaniness from a comedy variety show from way back when (well, yesterday for some of us) – the Rowan & Martin Laugh In. Have a good week ahead!

On August 2014

August is the eighth month of the year in the Julian and Gregorian Calendars and one of seven months with a length of 31 days.

In non-leap years, no other month starts on the same day of the week as August, but in leap years February starts on the same day of the week.

August and November end on the same day of the week every year

August (then called Sextilis) was the sixth month in the ten-month Roman calendar

August (still Sextilis) became the eighth month around 700 BC by King Numa Pompilius, but it had only 29 days

Julius Caesar added two days to August (still Sextilis) in 45 BC

Sextillis renamed August in 8 BC to honor Augustus

August’s birthstone is Peridot, a greenish said to have magical powers and healing properties to protect against nightmares … plus bring power, influence, and a wonderful year to the wearer.

August’s birth flower are Gladiolus and Poppy … meaning beauty, strength of character, love, marriage, and family

August’s Zodiac signs are Leo (ending August 22) and Virgo (starting August 23)

Moon for August as multiple names: Grain Moon, Green Corn Moon, Barley Moon, Fruit Moon

Only two Shakespeare plays mention August: Henry VI Part I and The Tempest

Anglo-Saxons called August by the name Weod-monath (weed month)

August is also called Augustus (Afrikaans, Dutch), Gusht (Albanian), Avqust (Azerbaijani), Kolovoz (Croatian), elokuu (Finnish), Αύgoustos (Greek), Ogos (Malay), Awissu (Maltese), Thang-Tam (Vietnamese), Awst (Welsh)

August is a month-long holiday for many Europeans

August and February are seasonable equivalents in opposite hemispheres

August is the month to increase awareness of Children Eye Health & Safety, Bystanders, Traffic, Immunization, Psoriasis, Child Support, Motor Sports, Minority Donors, Spinal Muscular Atrophy, Children Vision & Learning, Pet Immunization, Cataracts, Romance, and Studious Behavior

August is the month to celebrate Black Business, Panini, Goat Cheese, Catfish, Indian Heritage, Breastfeeding, Dirty Harry, and Peaches

August is the month to appreciate American Artists, Water Quality, Tomboy Tools, Neurosurgery Outreach, Audio, and Inventors

August is the month to participate in American Adventures, American History Essay Contest, Truancy Prevention, Don’t be a Bully, Get Ready for Kindergarten, What Will Be Your Legacy, Mutt-i-grees Rescue, Win with Civility, Happiness Happens, Midnight Moon Parties, and Plan Ahead for Halloween

Take time to celebration these anytime in August. Did you listen to any of the August songs? If so, which?

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 231

On Politics
On November 19, 2010, I first asked for it on this weekly post (evidence 1)…. and earlier this week I learned it’s finally going to happen. (evidence 2) … the Palin Channel. Nothing like paying for any-time nincompoopery.

Cheers to Congress for going on their well-earned August recess for accomplishing very little. Throw them all out!

Cheers to the US Senate for quickly and unanimously (97-0) confirming a new secretary to lead the Veterans Affairs (VA) Department – Bob McDonald – yes, a Cincinnatian.

Not long ago I posted this link to a view about the policies of Kansas Governor Sam Brownback (R). Here’s a new link to a counterpoint.

Thursday (at 12:30 pm) I received a robo-call from my representative inviting me to a telephone town hall meeting that started at noon.

Some Ohio Republicans in the state legislature are trying to Ohio to repeal the state’s commitment to the new Common Core educational standards. That a way … follow the lead of education leader Louisiana!

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Assisted care facility hits jackpot with little styrofoam cups of sherbet
Scientists: Rich people, poor people may have common ancestor
Store job applications just asks prospective employees how much they plan to shoplift
Psychology comes to halt as weary researchers say the mind cannot possibly study itself
Executioner enters lethal injection room with bag from Home Depot

Interesting Reads
Columnist Peggy Nonnan about World War I
Top 10 battles of World War I
The Nixon Tapes: A book review
Uncorrupting New Orleans
Water resources and profits
Wine tasting thoughts

On Potpourri
Dollar Tree buys Family Dollar. These discount stores (and their competitors) have become big business over the past 10 years. Nonetheless, I thought this Wall Street Journal headline was a bit tacky: Battle for Poor Shoppers Fuels Dollar-Store Deal.

I see sizeable gaps in this scale. Locally-brewed beers in the USA has experienced tremendous growth in recent years. I recently discovered these designation standards based on annual production: Large Brewery (at least 6 million barrels) and Craft Brewery (less than 6 million barrels). However, Craft Breweries can subdivided into Regional Brewery (15,000-16,000 barrels), Micro Brewery (less than 15,000 barrels), and Nano Brewery (up to 100 barrels). FYI for beer lovers: Here’s an article for the Wall Street Journal.

Because people want to know, here’s an informative video about why dogs smell butts.

Cheers to another successful installment of Life: The Musical. At the time of writing this, 25 songs are in Act 8!

Your weekend celebrations

  • (Weekend) Twins Days, Tree Climbing Days
    (Fri) Beer Day, Tomboy Tools Day, Spider Man Day, Girlfriend’s Day, Lughnasa, Braham Pie Day, Minority Donor Awareness Day, Rounds Resounding Day, Lung Cancer Day, Scout Scarf Day, Raspberry Cream Pie Day, India Pale Ale (IPA) Day
  • (Sat) Mustard Day, Take a Penny/Leave a Penny Day, Hangover Day, Ice Cream Sandwich Day, Dinosaur Day
  • (Sun) Doll Day, Kids Day, Sister’s Day, Watermelon Day, Friendship Day, Family Day, Day of Peace Day

Due to a full plate, no Saturday Morning Cartoon post this weekend. However, I can say this is a new month … so welcome to August.

To send you into the weekend, here’s something with flavor of the new month. Hot August Night was not a song, but an album by Neil Diamond. (Debra, where you there?) However, the opening tune from that night at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles become popular – so enjoy Crunchy Granola Suite. Have a safe weekend and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Life: The Musical – Act 8: Adulthood

The Story
Life: The Musical is an original aFa production is a journey featuring songs of about life. Each act features an aspect of life as a theme with music supplied around that theme.

LifeTheMusicalProgram (Past Posts)
Act 1: Life
Act 2: Born
Act 3: Names
Act 4: Young
Act 5: Dream
Act 6: Teens
Act 7: School

Act 8
Life … the time for the living to live. One’s life starts when one is born. Shortly thereafter, we are given something that stays with us no matter where we go – a name. Immediately, we are nourished, so we grow physically, mentally, and emotionally from babies into young children … and that’s when we start to dream about our future life. Growth never stops, so from children we move on as teens .. but school is still much of life at this point.

Eventually, we work ourselves into adulthood, so Act 8 features song with Man/Men or Woman/Women in the title … and bonus points for anyone with a song with two of these words in the title!

Production Note
To prevent browsers crashing from loading too many videos, please 1) include the song title and artist in your text, and 2) paste the URL as part of your last line (not a new line). The latter will provide a link, thus not embed the actual video … but I don’t mind unembedding, so apologies are not necessary.

Announcement
Ladies and gentlemen, those who know me best realize I only have one choice for the opening act, which also means I took one of the bonus possibilities away. A big aFa welcome to the reason I have a prosthetic left hand (yes, she touched the original, which is now preserved) … Shania Twain (who looks great in yellow) with Man! I Feel Like a Woman.

On Satire Bits: Vol. 105

Cincinnati is currently getting a second dose of abnormally wonderful weather for July. Warm and sunny days with low humidity followed by cool evening temperatures. The other day we had a record low (52 F, 11 C)! As one who doesn’t enjoy high temperatures with high humidity, I could take this all the time!!!

Reminder – Life: The Musical (Act 8) takes to the stage on Wednesday, 9:30 pm (Eastern, US) featuring songs with Man/Men or Woman/Women in the title. Good news … the choices are many!

It appears the golf course my wife and I have been playing regularly for the past 25 years (or so) will be closing at the end of this golf season due to financial difficulties. It’s understandable and the right thing to do, yet sad and unfortunate.

The marketing folks at GEICO have another version of the Hump Day Camel for you to enjoy, but this one is specific for movie theater attendees.

In order to get you through the rest of the week, it’s time for your mid-week dose of satire from The Onion. Any favorites? As is normal custom here, those desiring an extra challenge can develop their own headline by using any combination from the headlines below. “My combo” is at the end

Increasingly anxious man worried order confirmation email never going to come

Karate studio hoping to get local phone number that spells Kick or Chop

Man unaware all his friends think of him when they want to put things in perspective

Last-ditch dating website asks users to check “Yes” if they have open sores

Study: More couples delaying divorce until kids old enough to remember every painful moment

New Department of Agriculture study finds 85% of US farmers woefully kicking the dirt

God’s will only thing keeping AC unit in window

Report finds more Americans putting off children until companies are ready

Conversations pretty limited when friend not in midst of crisis

Man regrets straying from sour cream and onion potato chips

My Combo: Last-ditch website hoping anxious man delays putting off children until Department of Agriculture check open sores from sour cream and onion potato chips