On Satire Bits: Vol. 117

It’s midweek and I feel behind for some reason. Oh well, tis the season.

How’s your week so far? Low key for me, but I return to the surgeon tomorrow, so hopefully he removes the stitches (Ouch!) and clears me for normal activity, including dance.

The next post is Act 14 of Life: The Musical with the wide-ranging theme of negative emotions in the song title. Many choices for participants, and I’m very happy with the opening act. The opening act appears at 9:30 pm (Eastern US).

Saturday is the 2014 aFa Holiday Party. Attendees of my past parties know it will go the entire weekend! My friends in Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, New Zealand, and the night owls in the New World will be the first to arrive because the festivities start at 3:00 am (Eastern US). Feel free to bring your friends as the gift bags are ready!

Does anyone remember the keyword established when we started the week?

On to your energy boost from the satirists at The Onion. Any favorites? Don’t forget the extra challenge of making your own original headline by using the words in the headlines below. My “combo” is at the end.

Have a good rest of the week!

Embed from Getty Images

Geneticists debate ethics of cloning humans and forcing them to fight to death in pit for amusement

Marvel reimagines Green Goblin as left-handed

Can anyone challenge Koala for baby-changing station dominance?

Community loses interest 3 days after rallying to save local theater

Person standing far away from burial must have deep, dark secret about deceased

Study: Majority of Americans unprepared for sucker punch to gut

Report: 43% of party invitations unprovoked

Juror way to far into trial to ask about how contusions are now

Workaholic dad misses only one of two accomplishments in unimpressive child’s life

Parents with more vacation time, financial resources want to know when son will come home to visit

My Combo: Unprovoked parents sucker punch unprepared geneticists for deep dark secret about left-handed son forcing workaholic Koala into death pitΒ 

44 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 117

  1. Frank I have to apologise, I am so far behind with my own life that I admit to blog skimming, rather than reading and commenting is somewhat – curtailed at the moment. I am pleased the stitches are coming out soon though and hopefully you will be back on the dance floor.

    I’ll be at the party and hopefully the negative emotion thing too if I am struck by inspiration.


    • Pauline,
      Although I was wondering about your whereabouts and if all was OK, no apologies necessary. After all, sometimes life simply gets in the way.

      With many negative emotions, the possibility of songs is long … hard part is narrowing it down. πŸ™‚ … Meanwhile, and most importantly, glad to see you!


  2. Oh dear, I’m too tired to create a combination tonight. Just survived an 11-hour solo drive home from New Hampshire, which is amazing considering I white-knuckled the first four hours due to the Nor’easter. Very slow going through the mountains of NH and VT. But my 3 stops were very quick so I made up for lost time (I’m a very efficient driver πŸ˜‰ ). Luckily, I think I got out just in time. It’s going to be even uglier tonight and tomorrow!

    Good luck at the surgeon’s tomorrow. Hope it goes well for you.


  3. “After forcing parents away from Green Goblin death pit vacation, a left-handed child’s secret challenge loses amusement.”

    Hope your surgeon’s appointment goes well tomorrow, and we’ll see you tomorrow night. πŸ™‚


  4. The key word at the start of the week is “bird” and thanks for making me recall “Surfin’ Bird” just as I finally got that song out of my head! Since you’re seeing your surgeon tomorrow, I won’t beat you up about that. I hope it gos well.


  5. “Community loses interest 3 days after rallying to save local theater” and “Parents with more vacation time, financial resources want to know when son will come home to visit” hit me in the face for related reasons.


  6. Parents unprepared for death, ask son about cloning, forcing son to come home.

    I note that you mention your friends in Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, and New Zealand but seem to forget about your northern friends in Canada? Have you assimilated us?


  7. Never had stitches…but have had staples…didn’t really hurt coming out..best wishes!

    My contribution: Americans want to know ethics and financial resources of son after burial of deceased parents in community pit.


  8. The …bird?
    “Unimpressive child reimagines dark secret about deceased juror and workaholic Goblin forcing geneticists to fight to death in pit for financial resources.”
    Happy Wednesday, Frank. πŸ™‚
    Here’s to your freedom tomorrow [stitches gone!]!!!


  9. Yes where is the time flying to Frank.. And I am always way behind so never worry.. I think I may the parent with the more vacation time… Luckily my Son visits regular πŸ™‚
    Enjoy your day Frank..
    Blessings Sue


  10. Person standing far away from burial report 43% of party invitations unprovoked

    Talk about behind, I remain this way it seems. I hope all went well at the doctors and you are floating across the dance floor sooner rather than later.


    • Val,
      All went well with the doc, so I’ve returned to the dance floor. πŸ™‚ … thanks for asking. A couple of stitches remain for healing, but they come out next week. Meanwhile, those mysterious persons from afar know more than we think!


  11. Late again, sorry. But was uncovering a new conspiracy,
    “Geneticists secret Report: Majority of left-handed Workaholic Americans want financial dominance in Community.”
    Can they be stopped?


    • Fasab,
      No apologies for late … after all, you know my history. … and there is no hope for the rest of us because resistance is futile against the financial desires of left-handed workaholic Americans.


  12. “After a sucker punch to the gut can anyone challenge koala? 43% of community loses interest into trial.” (Just warming up for the big event 2015 style!) Thanks for the chance to hone my “craft” Mr Frank…


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