On Satire Bits: Vol. 88

Woo hoo! After a hiatus, the mid-week dose of satire (along with the combo challenge) is back for you to enjoy.

How was your going so far? On Monday I took a day for myself to go downtown for all the Opening Day hoopla. (I’ll report on that later). In return that means the rest of the week will be full of run around and more reorganizing.

Yesterday’s post about April celebrations included a BBC video about the spaghetti harvest. Coincidentally, the BBC also did this report about their 1957 … (or the post gave them the idea for the report.) A special thanks to Debra (at Bagni di Lucca & Beyond) for featuring my post in hers, which gave me a nice spike in stats.

On to the satirical headlines. For those willing to step up to the challenge, scramble the words in the headlines to make your unique headline. Mine is found at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Spaced-out flowerchild groovin’ on a doobie wave

New leather-bound notebook to unleash area woman’s creativity

All-knowing invisible hand of free market guides millions in profits to nation’s bead stores

Hypochondriac maple tree convinced it has Asian Longhorn Beetles

Nation’s moms dance nude around moonlit bonfire to conjure spirit of Emma Thompson

Woman takes short, half-hour break from being feminist to enjoy TV show

Interns treated to informative 30-minute Q&A session with totally miserable employees

Laid-off man finally achieves perfect work-life balance

Nation’s lunatics lament rising cost of car meat

More Hollywood celebrities reproducing by asexual budding

My Combo: Spaced-out, all-knowing, laid-off, nude, hypochondriac lunatic profits from Q&A session with Emma Thompson

On Toasting April

Embed from Getty Images
April is here. For us in the northern hemisphere, it’s a time for showers and spring flowers. Leaves return to the barren trees and green grass emerges from its slumber. Migrating birds return to the summer home they share with year-round residence, and day and night air fills with familiar sounds that have been absent.

April is also a time for celebrations – a month to increase awareness about cancer control, Cesareans, irritable bowels, alcohol, autism, math, habitats, multiple births, heartworm, Parkinson’s, stress, pet first aid, testicular cancer, sexually transmitted diseases, DNA, genomics, & stem cells.

April is a time for month-long promotions about greyhound adoption, amateur radio, car care, welding, community spirit, home improvement, card & letter writing, facial protection, landscape architecture, safe digging, and rebuilding.

April is a month to appreciate couples, frogs, military children, decorating, holy humor, guitars, jazz, humor, kites, poetry, straw hats, and smiles.

April is a time to celebrate Food Month while cherishing culinary delights as soft pretzels, cranberries & gooseberries, grilled cheese sandwiches, BLTs, tomatillos, Asian Pears, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, pecans, and soy foods.

April celebrates Knuckles Down and provides 30 opportunities to issue a Twit Award.

April always starts with All Fools Day. I love this classic video that aired in the UK on April 1, 1957. (Start at 30 seconds) Enjoy – and good luck with finding a fool today.

On Spaghetti for Monday

Although more people remember spaghetti westerns and than know spaghetti programming, I’m not sure how many have heard of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Unquestionably, most people think of spaghetti as food while forgetting the spaghetti squash.

Spaghetti is served with different sauces as countless variations of Bolognese or alfredo – or with butter or olive oil – or as carbonara, with egg, countless herbs, and cheeses. The spaghetti that most of us buy is made from semolina and water – but the cheap stuff goes in a can as uh-oh, SpaghettiOs with a sauce that I do not like.

Not only is there regular spaghetti, stores offer spaghetti varieties as thin, vermicelli, and angel hair – but I’m not counting linguini as spaghetti because of its different shape and spelling. However, did you know that only one strand is a spaghetto?

Since odds are good that you will enjoy this joyous pasta sometime this week, let us not forget the best spaghetti is only available outside of selected the Italian peninsula through specialty gourmet stores. Not the mass-produce spaghetti in a box that is in our cupboard – the type that is harvested from trees – whose taste is beyond comparison.