On Satire Bits: Vol. 23

How’s your week going? I just returned from my golf league, and I actually played well tonight. (That’s two in a row.) My driver continues to give me fits, so it may be time to  use updated technology for better tee shots.

Given last Wednesday was a U.S. holiday, it’s been two weeks since the last midweek dose of satire. So here’s a dozen from The Onion to propel you toward the weekend. Any favorites?

NASCAR to Race on Side-Stage of Country Music Festival

94% South Dakotans Unprepared for Mt. Rushmore Faces Coming Alive and Eating Everyone

14 Feelings Hurt in Local Teasing Incident

German Luftwaffle Chain Offers Waffles and Air Superiority

Quiet Temporary Worker Actually Very Talented Singer-Songwriter

Everyone at Bar Wondering How Everyone Else at Bar has the Energy

Losing Team Pretends the Homeless at Bus Station are Fans Welcoming Team Home

First McDonald’s Opens with a Young Grimace Just Starting Out as a Cashier

New Desperate Poverty Video Game Blamed for Urban Violence

Scientists Find Thousands of Previously Undiscovered Species Cowering in Amazon Rainforest

Running Man Passes Screaming Man

High Unemployment Linked to Man with 42,000 Jobs

42 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 23

    • Zannyro,
      Congrats on being the first to find joy with the latest edition of satire bits … and liking more than one is a sign of a good list! Thanks for commenting … and for being first.


    • Spiced,
      Good job … so that person should give up at least half of them! It’s been a touch-and-go golf season for me, so hopefully I’m turning a corner. Thanks for commenting.


  1. The Luftwaffle one really struck me. I’m a sucker for puns that give a sense of ridiculousness to something that is normally conjures serious and dangerous images.


  2. Haha, well played in our comments section. I think fifth-level comments are the maximum allowed on our current template, so I couldn’t reply to yours, or perhaps it’s the blogging gods deciding that such an esteemed honor must be earned on earnest comments, rather than gamesmanship, even though I was enjoying our little banter 🙂


  3. I have to say I thought all of the headlines were clever. But my favorites are the Luftwaffle one, the one with McDonald’s and a young Grimace, the one where everyone at the bar wonders where everyone gets the energy, and the undiscovered species cowering in the corner.


  4. It is very hot summer day in here today… nearly 40C degrees…
    what am I doing…. hmmmm! not going out, not playing golf and not dancing 🙂 but I was busy writing letters to my classmate in Alaska, For Yukon… At the end I finished the big floor pillows of dear Julie and time to send them all now but tomorrow I think… it is late now… Thank you dear Frank, have a nice day, love, nia


  5. Actually, the Luftwaffles thing is from the Simpsons. It was one of the restaurants along their fast-food row.
    I worry less about the 94% of SD residents surprised, and more about the 6% who actually EXPECTED the faces to come to life!
    And just as I write this, a great mystery has been solved. Small flags marking veterans graves were disappearing from a graveyard in Hudson, NY. The thief? A groundhog. So beware, it isn’t just radical Muslims out to destroy the US. We’re being undermined even as we speak! 😀
    Oh, and the NASCAR one? I think the reverse is actually true – they run country music concerts on the sidelines of NASCAR races. They just have to stand the musicians to the right, ’cause NASCAR drivers only know how to turn left! 😉
    So much distance between us, and yet so well connected. You’re out hacking at grass with a golf club, I’m out hacking at grass with a weed whacker. Maybe I need to get a good 7 iron! 😀


    • John,
      Rodents … those darn rodents do a number of us in so many ways. But wait – maybe they were being used for a special den celebration! In terms of the Luftwaffles on the Simpsons. Do they offer air superiority? Good news John – rain may be on the way, thus water for the weeds to grow faster! Thanks for commenting.


    • Valentine,
      Well thank you for understanding the importance of a golf game. (I must say, the game doesn’t attack me mentally as it does others.) Thanks for sharing your favorite.


  6. “Running man passes screaming man” I wonder if he had a recorder to record the doppler shift in sound. Maybe the follow up article could be “Doppler effect damaged by running man passing screaming man”


  7. This one resonates with me, “Everyone at Bar Wondering How Everyone Else at Bar has the Energy,” because my friend, Coco, and I were at “that” bar Tuesday night thinking exactly that. She’s promised me that she’s going to make your Limoncello recipe. If she makes good on her promise, I’ll you know how it came out!


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