On Satire Bits: Vol. 47

It’s mid-week, so how’s your week going? Do you anticipate the rest of the week being better, worse, or the same?

Courtesy of The Onion, here’s a bit of mid-week satire to boost your week. Which is your favorite?

For those who enjoy a creative challenge, take the information in the headlines (and only in the headlines) to make a new headline.

Scientist debut smug robot that can run a half marathon and brag about it

38-year old little boy posts picture of fast car he likes on Facebook

Dad holds Best Buy salesperson’s feet to fire with questions about HDTV compatibility

Neighborhood flocks to coffee shop bulletin board to read about fun, upcoming events

US Treasury cowboy claims “something done spooked the economy”

Pet dog almost like disgusting family member

Annual teeth cleaning reveals three previously unnoticed rows of teeth

Psychiatrists warn nation’s used car salesmen going insane, practically giving cars away

Army commander depressed after reading Facebook comment on latest raid

Mother who forgot to pay 29-year-old son’s phone bill reminded to really be careful about that

Career spider unsure if she’s ready to for 3,000 children

New Balance releases “Laces Only” minimalist running shoe

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My combo: New Balance salesman holds family’s feet to fire

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