We’ve reached the middle of the week, how was the start of your week?
With the recent house news, mine has been a whirlwind, thus causing me to be late with this post. Because the rest of the week will be full of must-do-now items as interviewing movers, dealing with inspections, securing a bank loan, and normal aspects of life, I will skip a post – thus return with Friday’s Opinions in the Shorts.
Let’s move on to your mid-week dose of satire from The Onion. Which of these gave you the best chuckle? For that extra challenge, use the words in the headlines below to make a new headline that is uniquely yours. Mine is at the end.
Have a good rest of the week.
Fanatically devoted nerd could potentially turn on Simon Pegg at any moment
High school freshman thinks Romeo and Juliet might be her favorite play
Intern strikes relationship with least-respected employee
Family watches in silence as dad checks out waitress
Man points out town where he threw up
Fish at pretty good place in life right now
Extremely vibrant town capable of supporting two Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman puts Cool Whip containers to every conceivable use
Area man admits being chocoholic but for booze
Neighborhood children gear up for highly anticipated opening of gerbil’s tomb
Internet collapses under sheer weight of baby pictures
Entire office clamoring to be introduced to co-worker’s parents
My Combo: Romeo puts Cool Whip on Juliet
Now I know why my computer crashed all those years ago! Too many baby pictures!!
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Colline,
Mystery solved! …. just another example on how providing answers is one on my goals with this blog.
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I LOVE the headline about the internet crashing under the sheer weight of baby photos. For me it’s DOG photos.
Good luck this week, Frank. And congrats again on the house sale.
Hugs from Ecuador,
Kathy
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Hey Kathy,
i imagine the same could be said for pet pictures. here’s one for you …. While Romeo watches fish pictures, Juliet clamoring for booze…. what do you think?
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I’ve drawn a blank, Romeo puts Cool Whip on Juiiet is the best one.
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Catherine,
Well now … how about this: Vibrant Juliet strikes relationship with chocoholic
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Perfect, no sane woman would refuse a relationship with chocolate. 😉
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🙂
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Great post.
Man fish clamoring for vibrant wings
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Mary,
This is a typical Wednesday post. Meanwhile, as a biology major (years ago). I chuckle at the relationship between fins, arms, and wings!
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Hi Frank,
Did you see this Onion piece on Chris Christy and the bridge? http://www.theonion.com/articles/my-fellow-americans-look-at-me-do-i-look-like-a-co,34908/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Quote:2:Default
Hope your week is less insane than mine!
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Elyse,
Lots of chuckles to reality in that one. Meanwhile, both of us have insane weeks … just in a different way.
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i will admit – i use cool whip containers – not for everything but many things:)
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Kimberly,
And that’s OK because of so many uses! After all, Juliet admits using Cool Whip containers for booze.
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Many chuckles to be found in here! I’ll add one of my own:
“High school nerd strikes relationship with the internet”
Good luck with the house juggling!
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Twixt,
Who would have ever guessed a HS nerd using the internet … especially in that way!
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Extremely vibrant town gears up for highly anticipated opening of gerbil’s tomb…the excitement is palpable!
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Cathy,
… and no doubt the foundation for a festival!
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My ex was one of those multi use Cool Whip container users. When I finally got around to cleaning out my desk at The Grind I even found one there. (It rocketed into the circular file.)
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Lame,
Oh what the extent to an ex goes to leave their mark.
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Family collapses under weight of cool whip. Dad boozes.
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Jim,
Now that is a lot of Cool Whip!
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Office nerd introduced to fish Cool Whip, collapses.
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Jim,
This justifies a reason for a new warning label.
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Hope all goes well with the house preparations.
Y’all do your “normal aspects of life” a little differently in your part of the world…
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Frank, I can sympathize with your busy schedule. By your mention of a bank loan I assume you are buying another house in the same area? During my Naval career we moved 10 times and I don’t feel that we had a real good grasp on how to do it properly until the 10th. Good luck.
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Jim,
Yes … moving to another location in our area. Haven’t moved in 27 years … so the whole experience is new!
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Gee, it thought it would crash due from all the cute cat videos! Wait aren’t they afraid to disturb the ceremonial sacred gerbil burial grounds? (Oh, what are they teaching in schools these days! …giggles…you heard those, right?)
Keep calm and carry on, Frank!
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Mouse,
As far as teaching in schools … that’s easy … the test. Meanwhile, ceremonial gerbil burial grounds are protected, thus intrusion is a felony.
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whew! Nightmares of those little teeth…those scratching claws
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Sounds like a movie in the making …. The Gerbil Nightmare
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Intern strikes Simon Pegg where he threw up…
Here’s hoping you survive the week, Frank!
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Carrie,
Way to come though because I’ve been waiting for the use of threw up. Meanwhile, survival is ok … but oh the things we discover with a phone call.
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Selling one’s home is a very hectic time. When we moved from Iowa to Ohio due to my husband’s job, we had two mortgages for 13 months. Talk about stressful. I was never so relieved when we found a buyer. But doing things long distance was tricky, and oh boy, so many papers to sign!
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Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! …. Definitely no fun with that situation … and I can’t imagine the stress that come over time. At least it worked out … and hopefully something like that won’t happen again.
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“Family watches in silence as area man threw up under sheer weight of chocoholic waitress.” 😯
Good luck with getting everything done this week. 🙂
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Sylvia,
Oh my … I’m not even going to ask what the man was doing with the waitress!
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Best not think about it. 🙂
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Recommendation taken.
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Man collapses under sheer weight of Cool Whip containers…
Frank, Fish at pretty good place in life right now made me chuckle, but it’s so true… they’re a very chilled bunch!
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Tom,
Maybe the man was a Cool Whip hoarder! It terms of your fish line, I say this … http://tinyurl.com/2qr8dv
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Not even gonna try to comptete with your version of the Onions this week. It;s just good on multiple levels 🙂
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Fasab,
Juliet is providing easy fodder … such as Devoted Juliet watches as Romeo checks out man with gerbil.
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🙂
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Like the family watched in silence as Dad checked out the waitress. Dad goes missing.
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Tom,
Good one .. but one problem … missing isn’t in the headlines.
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Swap the baby pictures for cat pictures, and you might be onto something there! The crisis at the neighbor’s house abates just in time, as I have a rather important post (to me and a very important stranger) to format and write tomorrow, so I won’t be around until late tomorrow evening. Good luck on all the move stuff – guess I gotta go dig through the posts that have slipped by for the details, eh? 😉
Have fun, catch ya Friday!
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John,
Cheers to the waterfall fighter! Meanwhile, here ya go … https://afrankangle.wordpress.com/2014/01/12/on-monday-style-2/
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Remember to catch a few breaks between all the hustle & bustle of moving.
LOL on your combo. Kind of a hot one!
My combo: Waitress collapses under extremely vibrant nerd.
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RoSy,
In all situations, balance is the key. Even if all goes as planned, we do have the advantage of time, thus at least it’s not a rush move. Both movers I talked to yesterday mentioned that we are ahead of the game.
Meanwhile, I won’t even try to imagine what the waitress and nerd doing!
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Fun list! My favorite: Internet collapses under sheer weight of baby pictures. (Sorry I don’t have a mix up to offer–brain is fried.) Trying to come up with a funny blog that starts out with Chris Christie and ends with Martin Luther King, Jr. My head is on the verge of exploding.
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E-Tom,
Gotta wonder how much space baby and pet pictures take! Meanwhile, you will come up with a good post. After all, if it wasn’t good, WW wouldn’t let you post it!
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Yeah, that is the problem. WW has no compassion for me if I try to “slide” by. Sigh!
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Go get’em WW!
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My combo: Woman clamoring for Buffalo Wild Wings admits at any moment might throw up.
Hang in there with the busyness and business of the move, Frank. It will feel good when it is all over! 🙂
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Debra,
I don’t this that scene would be very good for a commercial!
I thought of you yesterday when I read this inside the Dove chocolate wrapper … Stand back and breath deep and exhale.
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Dad and the waitress……ahem ahem…..blushes
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GFB,
Definitely hard to imagine.
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She gave me an extra large slice of pie though!
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But Oily would have received the entire pie.
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He would, wouldn’t he….
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High school freshman thinks of supporting two Buffalo Wild Wings
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Bulldog,
Now that’s eating a lot of wings!
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That must have been one sickening place to live…. ;-)… I hope you are enjoying your week Frank.. sorry about the absence… Life got in the way! 🙂
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Sue,
I’m the one sorry for the absence as my energy has been going elsewhere this week. 😦 … but I shall return.
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“Internet collapses under sheer weight of baby pictures” supports my belief that eventually the U.S. Supreme Court will rule that Affordable High Speed Broadband Internet, along with Affordable Health Care, are both RIGHTS under the U.S. Constitution.
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Tim,
… and the high court will support overloading baby pictures!
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“Internet collapses under sheer weight of baby pictures” – this is something that I collapses under too – baby pictures …. does parents and grand parents take new photos of the kids every day ????? Of course they are cute and adorable, but still …. but we have free press – so bring the babies on …. easy to avoid them if I want too.
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Waitress checks out 2 buffalo.
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Resa,
Greedy waitress!
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Greedy buffalo!
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Oh no … greedy waitress because one waitress … 2 buffaloes.
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“Lol”
Oh yes!
Two buffalo… one waitress.
Poor waitress, greedy buffalo.
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devoted nerd watches dad be introduced as a high school freshman.
throwing you some energy, wisdom and whatever else you need to deal with your house affairs. 🙂
cheers!
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Sun,
All received …. many thanks! Seems I’ve been going through frazzle moments, but surviving! Cheers to the devoted nerd.
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These are all funny, think though the best is admission of being chocoholic. I am in the final stages of the cold from hades, finally not tipping over every single time I stand up. So plan on catching up on reading and writing and housework and shopping today. Hopefully this isn’t to aggressive.
Congrats on house sale.
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Val,
Interestingly, being a chocoholic seems to be something people feel easy to confess! 😉 Hope you list went well because mine isn’t getting shorter.
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