How’s your week going? We have some chaos trying to determine when family gathering. Meanwhile, plans for my holiday party here on the 24th are going well.
Given the hectic nature that a holiday week can bring, I’ve gone to The Onion’s archives to search for some holiday satire treasures. Any favorites?
Sitcom Characters Still in Shock after Christmas Episode proves Existence of Santa Claus
Businessman Goes Home for Holidays to Network with Family
Santa Signs Legislation to Help Special-Want Children
Weed Delivery Guy Saves Christmas
Department-store Santa Told to Push Chinaware
Christmas Newsletter Makes No Mention of the Twins
John Travolta-Oliva Newton John Christmas Album Plunges Nation into Double-dip Recession
Elf Finger Found in Box of Keebler Cookies
Family Forced to Discontinue Print Edition of Christmas Newsletter
Wealthy Deprived of True Meaning of Christmas
A Frank Angle 
Frank! You’ve changed! What’s happened to ya, buddy? Ya look kinda pale and thin around the edges! (Or is WordPress hosing you over, too? 😉 )
Gotta go with the John Travolta/Olivia Neutron Bomb … er .. Newton-John one, since I’m watching Revolting … er … Travolta hijacking Pelham 1-2-3. (Sorry about the “nicknames”, bad jokes from youth die REALLY hard! 😀 )
Not too wild around here. Got one more post to line up – a special one for Saturday. 68th Anniversary of General McAuliffe telling the Germans “Nuts!” to surrendering Bastogne. And I understand there’s something else important on that day – something about the number 50? Ah well, I’m sure I’ll remember – provided the Mayans don’t get me first! 😀
Have a good rest-of-the-week, Frank!
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John,
Me? Changed? Not sure about that as consistency is my trademark.
Travolta/Newton John is quite the popular pick in this edition. Meanwhile, I enjoyed Pelham 1-2-3.
Not too sure about your Saturday post, after all, there is the Mayan thing, who knew much more than Harold Camping. Have a good couple of days … and thanks for commenting.
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I finally watched that John Travolta/Olivia Newton John Christmas video. Oh, my. We’ll just leave it at that…
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Carrie,
This one seems to be the unquestionable leader at this point! Thanks for stopping by.
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I’m gonna go with Networking Businessman and Elf Finger.
Hope the fun outweighs the stress, Frank!
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Guapo,
I like both of those too! … and the elf finger is popular today. Meanwhile, not really stressed here, thus must have been the moment. Thanks for visiting.
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There’s nothing like a bit of satire!
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Julie,
Satire is a fairly regular Wednesday feature … and sprinkled in Fridays. Thanks for visiting.
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Love it!
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Just stopped by your place and left you a message.
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oh!
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In my neighborhood, I must go with this one, Frank: Wealthy Deprived of True Meaning of Christmas
Have a great week!
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Elyse,
But I’m sure you’ll help them out because you tell them like it is. 🙂 Thanks for commenting.
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I sure do — anonymously!
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🙂
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You’re so thoughtful!
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I AM an amazing woman. That’s what I’m always saying. Folks generally smile politely and move away.
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As the smile and move away, make sure to give them the queen’s wave.
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I do, Frank. I do. Now are you bowing?
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Always in your presence.
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If only I could train my husband and son so well. The dog is pretty good at keeping his head lower than mine.
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What??? Your husband and son don’t honor your regalness as many of us do???? The gall of it all!!!!
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Real life provides so much less of an ego boost for me, Frank. I’m thinking of just merging myself into the ‘sphere completely.
Of course, the real world is where my stories come from. So I guess I’m stuck here.
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So, because my knees are starting to hurt, can I stand?
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You may. Just as soon as I grant your knighthood.
[Sword tap on right shoulder; sword tap on left shoulder]
You may now rise, Sir Frank.
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Wow … now there’s a start of my day that I didn’t expect!
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You’re welcome. Now I’d better get to work before my kingdom is at risk.
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Enjoy your day!
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YOu too, Frank!
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Hey, don’t I count? After all, I AM a member of the Queen’s Guard! And I always wanted to be Sir Loin of Beef. Or Sir Prise of Party, either one’s good. 😀
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Well John you are close. But I have known Frank almost since I first started blogging, and I think there is a minimum number of months one must know a fellow blogger before he can be knighted. It would be easier if you were female — then I could just say “Hey, Lady!” and be done with it.
Choose your gender better next time!
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Yeah, it’s my fault. They asked me how i wanted to go through life, and I misunderstood and said “I just want to get a grip on things”.
(Actually, it was a conscious choice. I always wanted to sleep in a tent, but hate going out in the rain to pee, so ….) 😯
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I asked for that one, didn’t I.
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Now, wouldn’t it have been easier to knight me, and have a good day? 😉 (Remember, there’s no equipping costs. I have both my own armour AND swords. 😀 )
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Thank you Elyse.
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Alright John …. here ya go … just for you
http://tinyurl.com/2qr8dv
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Mine is this one: Santa Signs Legislation to Help Special-Want Children
My letter to Santa has not changed much over the years. I may have to dig it from the mothballs for this year as well.
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Red,
I must say that there something special about that legislation. Because you’ll be digging for your letter to Santa, I imagine you will post it! Thanks for commenting.
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Hi,
Oh I have missed The Onion headings.
I listened to the Xmas song by John and Olivia, I think I will stick with their songs from the 80’s. 🙂
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Mags,
Your pick seems to be a popular pick today. If you are bored someday, see Category > The Onion Satire Bits in the sidebar. 😉 Glad you made it by today1
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I checked out the American possum in Wikipedia, they are totally different, than ours, they had a picture of one sitting in a piano and it does look evil. 🙂
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opossum
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Quite ugly and common roadkill. I can’t imagine one as a pet. Show me a pick of the version in your land.
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I have done a post on possums, but it was a while ago now, you did comment on it.
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Ah ha … much cuter than the version here! thanks. 🙂
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Each and every one of a these is a gem as far as I’m concerned. I got a good laugh. I will choose Elf Finger Found in Keebler Box of Cookies. That’s just bizarre. I look forward to your Christmas Eve party. I’ll be checking in at some point. I will have a house full of people by then and it is also my daughter’s birthday. I can already anticipate I may be looking for a closet to hide in for a while with the comfort of quiet and my computer! 🙂
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Debra,
Good choice on the elf finger, which is a bizarre thought!
You are in good shape for the party. Because I’m actually starting on the 23rd for the Aussie’s 24th, it will be underway your evening! Hope to see you then … but you can return later as a getaway. 🙂 Thanks for visiting.
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Travolta for me Frank – a truly scary piece of footage!
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GFB,
Good choice, and yes, scary footage. Thanks for commenting. BTW – the holiday bash requires a UK ginger.
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And here I am!
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🙂 … but on the 24th. 😉
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That may prove trickier
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It will be posted during your early hours … but it is perpetual!
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Travolta dyed his hair.
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Doggy,
Really? Are you sure? Thanks for stopping by.
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Eeek! @ that poor 9-fingered elf. 😦 Yes, this week is running away with me too. I’m sure you’re Christmas Eve party will be a blast. 🙂
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Paradise,
Elves can be creepy, but one with 9 fingers may be too much! Meanwhile, I can say the party plans includes gifts for all! Thanks for stopping by.
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elf finger rules!
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Rich,
I just thought you may be an elf finger kind of guy. BTW – there is an intriguing look in our midst
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the open, denim-look shirt?
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😀
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Businessman Goes Home For The Holidays To Network With Family – absolute brilliant …. what has the world come to??? On the other hand is there quite a lot of truth behind it. We only network with our family on public holidays *smile
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Viveka,
The brilliance of satire when it mocks reality. In this case, funny – but unfortunately sad. … Nonetheless, a good pick! Thanks for stopping by.
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First it was the encyclopedia Britannica discontinuing its print version, then Newsweek, now it’s the annual Christmas Card family newsletter (“Family Forced to Discontinue Print Edition of Christmas Newsletter”). No matter, it won’t be long until the only way we’ll receive Christmas Cards will be on Facebook. Ooops – scratch that. ON TWITTER!!?
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Tim,
Ding Ding Ding … you have delivered a winner! Many thanks for sharing.
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Great post. My week is winding down nicely thank you. A nice steady pace and no sense of frantic maniacal holiday insanity. 🙂
Busted out laughing at the John Travolta/Olivia Newton-John Christmas album. Naturally it would plunge the nation …. with all that “GREASE is the word.”
Elf finger was also pretty funny but probably just a left over from “take your children to work day”. 🙂
Weed delivery guy saves christmas – that must be the “special” deliveries in the states that now have legalized marijuana. 🙂
Totally inspiring post my friend.
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Mobius,
Glad you found something interesting today …. and many thanks for sharing your outstanding commentary!
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Well, I’m not often a follow the crowd kinda girl… but today I am and I do… that poor little guy… imagine how his wife felt giving him his full 10 fingered gloves (it was really to late to return them)!
O wonder if elves do prosthetics?
cool post, Frank…
happy holidays to you and yours – if we make it to the 22nd, that is…
🙂
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Buddahkat,
Popular is what it is, and the elf with one less digit seems to be the winner. Happy holidays to you as well, and a reminder … a holiday party starts here, Sunday evening (8-ish, US Eastern) … starting early for the Aussies. Thanks for commenting and hope you can attend.
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My week (and a half) of Holiday hell starts tonight (sorry for the language). My wife’s college friend is coming with her family of four to spend the night (who does that on a Wednesday?!?). Tomorrow is my son’s school show which would be fine but all the parents start gabbing about who was the best. Then I have my office party where there will be exactly ZERO alcohol. Fun. Monday we leave for a week with the in-laws and the entire extended family is coming. That means I am likely sleeping on the floor (my back is hurting already in anticipation). So how has my week been? Great. Ask my again next week and I might belt you.
Happy Holidays to you–please, please enjoy the holidays for me!
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Cyclist,
Oh my … Because you are on the road Monday, make sure you stop by for a present on Sunday night, after 8. Meanwhile, I can see you are in need of a song tribute … here’s one for you.
Hang in there … good luck and thanks for stopping by.
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Onion winner for me has to be John Travolta-Olivia NewtonJohn. But my goodness they haven’t aged well. Beter not let John see this, he be devastated
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Oh my my ….. not good.
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Definitely an Elf Finger in a Box of Keebler Cookies! finding one would be one of those OMG moments especially as I have no idea what keebler cookies are! Is there really something called a Keebler cookie? I also wonder whether an elf finger would look like my finger with skin and flesh over bone plus a nail ….
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Rosie,
Good news for you … here’s an old commercial … but next time you are at the grocery, check the cookie aisle. Thanks for visiting.
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Heh heh I enjoyed that. Thanks Frank.
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You are very welcome. 🙂
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I have never found an Elf finger in my cereal. Some people have all the luck xx
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Spiced,
Maybe … just maybe someday your wish upon a star will fall in your bowl. Thanks for stopping by … hope to see you on the 24th!
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Please tell me elf finger doesn’t taste like candy cane….
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Cayman,
Two varieties to enjoy: peppermint and wintergreen. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
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Well, if we’re still here in a couple of days, I hope you enjoy your party. I still can’t understand how my invitation got lost!
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SeaShells,
Oh no … I forgot about the Mayans … but then again, I invite them too so they would forget about their proclamation. BTW – your invitation has been personally redelivered. Thanks for commenting.
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Oh, I agree with Tim – “Family Forced to Discontinue Print Edition of Christmas Newsletter.” The funny thing is we actually did discontinue our own print edition last year; we collected e-mail addresses last year and started a digital letter and musical card online. Oh, well, the Onion got us nailed 🙂
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Lynn,
Oh that’s too funny! Besides, and probably only known to me, both Tim and you are music people! (He graduated from U of Cincy Conservatory, taught music ed for many years). Thanks for confirming The Onion!
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Hello Frank. Early(ish) morning here on Christmas Eve. It seems I am too early for your party. I think it is night for you. Will try to get back later today. I am travelling to a big family ‘do’. Happy Christmas anyway.
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Hey Cuttlefish,
Yep … if you see this, still a bit less than two hours away … figuring mid-morning for you folks. Nonetheless, it’s a 3-day event, so hey … stop by when you can. Merry Christmas!
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Good-o. Catch you soon then.
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🙂 … in progress!
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