How’s your week so far?
Warm weather has sudden burst onto Cincinnati the past few days … and we could break 80 F (26 C) for the second consecutive day. Well, all that before the bottom falls out very soon.
Any favorites?
For those desiring a creative challenge, it’s combination time – so use any of the information in this headlines to develop a new headline. Mine is at the end
Eccentric man introduces new sweater to closet pals Colonel Coat and Captain Blazer
Frustrated inner city students running out of ideas to motivate teachers
Millions of human beings experiencing emotions about JJ Abrams directing Star Wars
Half of 26-year old’s memories are Nintendo related
Area man compares circle of friends to cast of Lost
Study finds working at work improves productivity
Marxist student has capitalist parents
Congressional panel to investigate old mansion
Nation would not be surprised if Chris Brown allegedly travelled back in time to punch Anne Frank
Study exposes risk of conducting research while driving
Torrent of soap issues exits wildly from unexpected part of dispenser
Creep one-word message from mom could mean anything
My Combo: Eccentric Congressional panel exposes creepy Colonel Coat, Captain Blazer, and Chris Brown
A Frank Angle 
Oh well you know what they say about April being a player. Mon had us sweating Tue we had rain. Wednesday morning is soothing but anytime now Summer Will glare at us with full force..
My take on satire bits
millions of humans working at work driven by nintendo memories
LikeLike
Soma,
Your full force of summer must be something … and something I wouldn’t enjoy. Meanwhile, you may be on to something with that headline …. but I wonder if it improves or hampers productivity.
LikeLike
Frank!
I love 80! We’ll see that here in Seattle in 3 months. Can’t quite hit 60 this week.
My favorite (because I’m a government worker) “Study finds working at work improves productivity”. They’ll never get it.
Red
LikeLike
Seattle Red,
80 at this time of year usually means some difficult weather is on the horizon … and it looks like that could be tomorrow. Just remember, Seattle summers are wonderful.
Glad you were able to relate to a headline. 😉
LikeLike
my favourite too is study finds working at work improves productivity — not feeling creative enough tonight to do a combo but enjoyed the post nonetheless
LikeLike
LouAnn,
No problem … there are times when mood/circumstances/etc hampers creativity. Thanks for your fav!
LikeLike
80’s in April? What a gift. I hope you stopped everything and went out and enjoyed yourself !
“Study exposes risk of conducting research while driving”
I’ve seen people doing the weirdest things while driving
LikeLike
Rosie,
Hitting 80 in April is unusual for us … and even in the first half of April! … but it will be brief as storms are in the forecast for tomorrow … Meanwhile we could use some rain.
Good choice on the headline as that is a brilliant study.
LikeLike
I’m so happy for you that you got some nice weather. I can’t complain too much myself! We have about a month of nice weather before it starts to get too hot! I hope not. My favorite is, “Half of 26-year old’s memories are Nintendo related.” I’m sure this one is true for many!
LikeLike
Bumble,
And your area can get a tad warm in the months ahead. You must know someone hooked on Nintendo!
LikeLike
Half of 26-year-old’s memories are Nintendo related while experiencing emotions about JJ Abrams directing Star Wars…
And wow! 80 degrees in Cincinnati! It’s supposed to get down to 10 here in Fort Collins tonight. Maybe I won’t be planting my peas this weekend…
LikeLike
Cathy,
Did you really make that up or did you steal it? It seems too real! 😉
I saw were Colorado had some crazy weather yesterday. Hang in there … spring is on the way.
LikeLike
80 degrees, my goodness! We saw a bit of sun last weekend, and then gray again, sigh…
Congressional panel to investigate why torrent of soap exits wildly from frustrated eccentric man while driving.
LikeLike
Vanessa,
Isn’t gray your national color for this of year? … but it will clear! … (I think)
Cheers to your headline as it is one of my favorites!
LikeLike
We will have 8o degrees by end the week as well here in CA–but that is not that unusual for us at this time of year. Loved the headlines, as usual. My combination: Congressional panel to investigate JJ Abrams directing Star Wars.
LikeLike
Patti,
For sure …. California weather is different from Ohio. … but I got to wonder, what are the odds of that Congressional committee finding anything worthwhile? 😉
LikeLike
Eccentric man introduces frustrated inner city students to investigate old mansion.
Enjoy the weather while you can.
LikeLike
TBM,
Just another example of eccentrics can do for the community with their money and resources.
LikeLike
One-word message from mom could mean 26 year-old Nintendo son is a creep.
LikeLike
Archon,
LOL … .and very real!
LikeLike
Five days ago we had sleet and snow. Two days later, it turned warm and sunny. Yesterday was in the eighties here. It’ been a weird April for sure, but we’re hoping to keep the nice temps.
LikeLike
Renee,
As you know, just part of the crazy springtime weather we endure. Meanwhile, which state are you in?
LikeLike
My favs from the real Onions are ‘working at work’ and the ’26 year old’s memories’.
Mine is political today:
capitalist Nation surprised at unexpected Torrent of Marxist emotions from Congressional panel.
LikeLike
Fasab,
Oh no …. Initially, I was working on something like that one, too!
LikeLike
Glad to hear about your warm weather!!!
My rather surrealistic version:
Nintendo related Marxist student conducting research while driving.
Have a happy day, Frank!
🙂
LikeLike
Marina,
Oh no … Nintendo is linked to Marxism! … but even they are interested in research!
LikeLike
It’s in the 80’s here and the azaleas are already gone. Hardly seems fair that these bushes we take care of all year long only produce for a few weeks. It seems I should be able to relate that statement to “Study finds working at work improves productivity” but I’m coming up short. Using yours, how about….
Frustrated Marxist inner city students running out of ideas to motivate capitalist teachers and parents
LikeLike
Georgette,
Hardly seems fair that your azaleas are gone …. especially during the week of golf’s Masters tournament where azaleas are featured. … Then again, mine aren’t even close to blooming.
Your headline made me laugh … interesting how many are focusing in on similar portions.
LikeLike
I’ve got to love the eccentric guy…. what does this say about me? Oh well, my combination might say even more:
“Creepy eccentric mom running wildly to closet to conduct research back in time”
LikeLike
Twixt,
Ah ha … you are an eccentric mom! 😉
LikeLike
Frustrated inner city students introduce Nintendo related sweaters to their circle of friends whose capitalist parents work on Congressional panels to investigate Chris Brown, Anne Frank, torrents of soap box issues, and driving research issues concerning improving work productivity while condemning human beings still experiencing emotions about “Star Wars” and “Lost”.
(and that’s all, folks)
LikeLike
Mouse,
I declare you Queen of the Most Complex Combos!
LikeLike
You have the same temperatures we have here, Frank. I had a giggle at all of these headlines, especially “Study finds working at work improves productivity.” Who knew?? 🙂
What about “Nation would not be surprised if Marxist student has old mansion, torrent of soap issues, and travelled back in time to punch Anne Frank.”
LikeLike
Paradise,
Oh no … a torrent soap dispenser causes Anne Frank to be punched! … well, let’s make it Chris Brown.
LikeLike
Yes, I think that’s a wiser option. 🙂
LikeLike
Torrent of soap issues exits wildly from unexpected part of dispenser – copious jet of soap from an entirely unexpected location – why couldn’t they tells us what the unexpected location was. I have tired using my imagination. *smile
LikeLike
Viveka,
LOL … thanks for the excellent combo.
LikeLike
Study finds working at work could mean anything …
I did it! I came up with a combo!
LikeLike
I don’t think you can top Chris Brown giving Anne Frank a thump!
LikeLike
GFB,
Because we know he would if he had a chance!
LikeLike
Not ‘arf
LikeLike
I don’t think we’ll ever see 80 degrees ( I’m converting that in my head…23C?) wow…that’s downright balmy!
LikeLike
Rogue,
I can’t imagine your area getting up to 26C. And that temp this time of year generally brings along higher humidity. YUK! But, we take it in the spring.
LikeLike
I like your combo, Frank. I’m too tired tonight to come up with a combo of my own, but I look forward to the Onion titles. Here’s my favorite: Area man compares circle of friends to cast of Lost I was a big Lost fan! 🙂
LikeLike
Debra,
It’s OK to be too tired for the combo. BTW – Because you are a Lost fan, my wife noticed that the actor who played Desmond just appeared on two different shows (in a short span) as a different killer.
LikeLike