On Satire Bits: Vol. 59


I couldn’t resist using that video again this week.

How has your week so far? Have you had pleasant weather?

Tonight’s golf game was a feast-or-famine 9-hole event. I finished +7, but had four double bogeys (each +2). Simply bizarre.

By the way, a reminder that the next post is Time – The Musical: Act 3 featuring year(s).

For this week’s mid-week dose of satire, I dived into The Onion’s vault of treasures searching restaurants. Given the results, I decided to focus on restaurant chains, plus limit each chain with one headline. I even listed them in alphabetical order. Any favorites?

Have a good rest of the week.

Applebee’s manager stops by to see how takeout is going

Arby’s charging $2.99 to let customers go behind counters, grab handfuls of roast beef

Burger King introduces new healthy deep-steamed french fries

Chick-Fil-A debuts homophobic sandwich

Chuck E Cheese announces new lower prices, but restaurants will be dirtier

Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins/Pizza Hut/Taco Bell/Long John Silver’s opens

KFC introduces new family-size nugget

McDonald’s unveils new senior citizens play place

New Starbucks open in restroom of existing Starbucks

Olive Garden server covered in sauce sprayed from customer’s mouth

Orange Julius officials ordered to appear before US Food Court

Ponderosa Steakhouse fire claims lives of millions of bacteria

Red Lobster taking up Vanguard in fight against women in the workplace

Taco Bell launches Morning-After Burrito

Wendy’s to phase out unpopular hamburger sandwich