On Satire Bits: Vol. 60

How’s your week going so far? I’ve been keeping busy, and had a blah-blah round of golf. At least our team is still near the top, but there is only a week or two left in the first half.

Here is some headlines from The Onion to energize your push toward the weekend. Any favorites? For those wanting the extra challenge, use the information in the headlines (and only these headlines) to create an original. My combo is at the end.

Have a good rest of the week.

There are people in the world concerned about the current state of hip-hop

Nation wonders how ad guys from Vitaminwater do it

Superstitious baseball players always steps into batter’s box before swinging at pitches

Woman places poison in orange juice at Starbucks

Area man likes to think of himself

Dad busy throwing seed or something on lawn

Woody Allen extremely busy updating WoodyAllen.com

17-year cicadas horrified to learn about 9-11

Picking thing up from apartment floor rescheduled for tomorrow

Man derives depressing amount of pride from hometown burger chain

Every glass in cupboard visibly filthy

Possum gazes Longley at family walking dog

My combo: Superstitious possum gazes at hip-hop, so reschedules swinging at Woody Allen for tomorrow

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48 thoughts on “On Satire Bits: Vol. 60

  1. None of the Onions caught my fancy today, but I did enjoy perusing Woody Allen’s website where I found out that his latest movie is an update of “A Streetcar Named Desire.”

    Concerning your golf game, I’ve got a new shot to show you that is GUARANTEED to help put your team over the top in spite of the short amount of time remaining!

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  2. intellectually, i go with dad throwing seeds. however, the cicadas got the most noticeable reaction. what’s your golfing strength? driving? mid irons? short game? putting? i used to be excellent off the tee, but i seem to have lost that. now, chipping, pitching, and putting save me.

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    • Rich,
      My golf game is good enough to be off enough whenever. Overall, putting is my weakest …. trouble more often starts from the tee. …. yesterday’s round was loaded with blah … thus lousy footage for ESPN highlights.

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  3. A routine week.
    my contribution: Superstitious baseball players throwing seed or something on 17 year Cicadas.

    Have a great week. Time for me to do my morning exercise (i.e. the Curley Shuffle “nuk, nuk, nuk, nuk”)

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  4. I thought all of the headlines were creative, Frank. I smiled all the way through. Things are blah here. I’ve been editing a book and hoping hubby can fix (rewire) the central air before things really get hot this weekend.

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  5. Thanks for the chuckle. My last week or so has been busier than usual, felt like a long time since i was even reading other blogs. I think the headline “Picking thing up from apartment floor rescheduled for tomorrow” is actually about me! Pretty sad. I really needed the laugh!

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