On Satire Bits: Vol. 93

How has your week gone so far? I have various preparations to do in advance of upcoming projects around the new residence. With that in mind, we hope to reach an important milestone by week’s end that will lead us toward final completion of an area next week.

The streak of wonderful weather is great for golf. Too bad my game this week was not even close to the weather. Oh well … that’s golf … but hopefully I’ll be better next week.

Time for the mid-week collection of humor. As always, for those desiring an extra challenge, reshuffle any of the words below to develop a new headline. My “combo” is at the end. Have a good rest of the week.

Embed from Getty Images

US currency finally archives universal suffrage

Increasing number of men pressured to accept realistic standards of female beauty

Woman tragically succumbs to natural hair color

Smooth operator also operates forklift

Married couple staying together for the sake of US divorce rate

Physician shoots off a few Adderall prescriptions to improve Yelp rating

New employee finally around long enough to be deemed incompetent

Couple keeps it interesting by bickering in different positions, rooms

Doctor recall average-looking sibling who inspired him to go into cosmetic surgery

Man trying to get out of executioner duty

My Combo: Executioner pressured to operate forklift

On a Corporate Downtown

Downtown Cincinnati from Devou Park (Covington, Kentucky)

That’s downtown Cincinnati from a park on top of a hill from the Kentucky side of the river.  My city is like other cities because each city has a distinctive skyline of corporate identities.

Cincinnati has the old and the new …

I’m not sure the identity of these two

… but there are some unexpected corporate headquarters that many may not identify with this small city along the Ohio River.

Macy’s is a very well-known department store. Although its flagship store is in New York City, corporate headquarters resides in Cincinnati.

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Procter & Gamble is an unquestionable global leader regarding consumer products. With brand names as Tide, Charmin, Gillette, Downey, Swiffer, DuraCell, Dawn, Ivory, Crest, Clairol, Bounty, Pampers, and many more, P&G’s Cincinnati roots go back to their origins making candles and soap. (Brands here). P&G also has research facilities throughout the city.

P&G image from University of Cincinnati

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Barney Kroger started a grocery store in 1883 from his savings of $372. Today, with 2,400 stores in 31 states, Kroger is the largest grocery retailer in the United States. Besides Kroger, other store brands include Ralphs, Fred Meyer, Dillon’s, Smiths, Fry’s, Smith’s, King Soopers, Harris Teeter, Scott’s, Gerbes, Baker’s, Owen’s, City Market, Jay C Pay Less, and QFC.

Kroger HQ

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Powell Crosley was an inventor, industrialist, and entrepreneur. From Crosley automobiles to Crosley radios, which was the largest producer of radios in the world … from starting a powerful radio station to transitioning into television … from building household appliances to owning the local professional  baseball team … Crosley is a well-known name in Cincinnati. Below is the building known as Crosley Square, which at one time housed the Crosley radio and television stations.

Crosley Square

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The Great American Insurance Company may not have the name recognition as the previous companies, but its name is not only associated with our baseball stadium (home of the Reds), it’s also responsible for the newest (and now tallest) building in the city, which is also topped with a tiara.

The Great American Tower

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Cincinnati has others, such below. With all the bank mergers in recent years, I’m not sure whose name is upon it now, but it’s still a prominent building in the skyline … but no longer a major HQ. Hope you enjoyed my brief tour of a few of Cincinnati’s corporate identities.

 

On a 2-fer Monday

For us in the northern hemisphere, spring has sprung. On the other hand, blogging has helped me realize there is another hemisphere that operates in the opposite direction. That is as a warm season is approaching one, it is leaving the other.

How was your weekend. Come on now — fess up! Ours included a dinner evening at good friends, an evening of ballroom, some shopping, and working around the new place.

This Week’s Celebrations

• (Week) Cartoon Appreciation Week, Tourism Week, Drinking Water Week, Flexible Work Arrangement Week, Hug Holiday Week, Raisin Week, Post Card Week, Public Service Recognition Week, Astronomy Week, Red Me Week, Clear Air Week, Herb Week, Family Reading Week, Safe Kids Week, Jewish Heritage Week, Wildflower Week, Detect a Water Leak Week, Food Allergy Awareness Week, Nurses Week, Alcohol & Drug Related Birth Defects Awareness Week, Anxiety & Depression Week, Family Week, Dystonia Awareness Week, Be Kind to Animals Week, Children’s Mental Health Week
• (Mon) Cinco de Mayo, Cartoonists Day, Totally Chipotle Day, Ferret Day, Chocolate Custard Day, Hoagie Day, Midwives Day, Melanoma Monday, Childhood Stroke Awareness Day, Library Legislation Day
• (Tues) No Diet Day, Nurses Day, O. Henry Pun Day, Asthma Day, Crepes Suzette Day, Childhood Depression Awareness Day
• (Wed) Great American Grump Out Day, Bike to School Day, Paste Up Day, Roast of Lamb Day, Occupational Safety & Health Day
• (Thurs) No Socks Day, VE Day, Red Cross/Red Crescent Day, Have a Coke Day, Ovarian Cancer Day, Free Trade Day, Animal Disaster Preparedness Day, Coconut Cream Pie Day, Time of Remembrance & Reconciliation for Those Losing Lives during WW II, Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day

The decision for your Monday Morning Entertainment has me torn between Cinco de Mayo and Cartoon Appreciation Week. Given the dilemma, maybe it is best to provide two offerings for you.  First, here’s one of my favorite Bugs Bunny scenes.

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Secondly, a merengue is a great dance for Cinco de Mayo. Enjoy … and have a good week!

On a Merry, Merry Month

William Shakespeare (in Sonnet 18) wrote, Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May

May is named after the Greek goddess Maia – mother of Hermes, daughter of Atlas and Pleione the Oceania

May is the time for two astrological signs: Taurus the Bull (through May 20th) and Gemini the Twins (beginning May 21st)

May is the time for Lily of the Valley as the official birth flower … but other say the official flowers are daisies and sweet peas.

May is the month for the emerald birthstone – the one of love or success

May begins Beltane in the northern hemisphere, and Samhain in the southern hemisphere

May delivers many colors, but (according to somebody) dark forest green and pale sky blue are its official colors

May is a month of awareness for ALS, APS, arthritis, brain tumors, borderline personality disorder, celiac, cystic fibrosis, EDS (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome), fibromyalgia, global civility, home schooling, Huntington’s Disease, lupus, allergies & asthma, hepatitis, Lyme disease, neurofibromatosis, strokes, toxic encephalopathy & chemical injury, pet cancer, preeclampsia. skin cancer, mental health, Tach-Sachs & Canavan diseases, medical orphans, Prader-Willi Syndrome, Tuberous Sclerosis, Tourettes Syndrome, skin cancer, Social Security

May is a month of culinary delights as hamburgers, barbecue, salad, salsa, strawberries, eggs, asparagus, beef, sweet Vidalia onions, chocolate custard, and vinegar

May is a month to chip your pet, garden for wildlife, revise your work schedule, get caught reading, heal children, prepare tomorrow’s parents, react, and strike out strokes

May embraces drums, EcoDiving, Latino books, tennis, bicycling, wetlands, clean air, Mediterranean diet, meditation, physical fitness & sports, photos

May promotes better hearing & speech, building safety, foster care, good car keeping, guide dogs, inventors, motorcycle safety, pets, youth safety, drinking water, spiritual literacy, healthy vision, family wellness, creative beginnings, and gifts from the garden

May commemorates Pacific Islander heritage, Haitian heritage, Jewish-American heritage, South Asian heritage, and the Freedom Shine

May wants us to smile more often

May birthdays include these famous people

Let’s conclude with Blue Rodeo singing 5 Days in May

Opinions in the Shorts: Vol. 218

On Politics
Nincompoop’s (aka Sarah Palin) comments about waterboarding at the recent NRA convention is just another example of most people blowing her off as she focuses on making money. I wonder about her popularity after President Obama leaves office./

Sean Hannity and others may have embraced Cliven Bundy, and LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling may have a lot of money – but while Bundy and Sterling got considerable air time, they represent a very small segment of Americans. The good thing about Sterling is that his headlines got Bundy out of the news.

As the White House and Congress continue their stalemate, here’s an interesting article about the active Supreme Court.

Will the Republican base embrace Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WIS) for his different stance toward the poor?

On This Week’s Headlines from The Onion
Music in bar could stand to be louder, worse
New census report reveals US has over 360 million nobodies
Top theoretical physicists, R&B singers meet to debate the meaning of forever
Man has story for every stain on pants
Obama spends another night searching behind White House paintings for safe
Carlos Santana surprises wife with coupon for 45-minute guitar solo

Interesting Reads
Changing demographics in the US leading to the Next America
Saving Rosie the Riveter’s factory
The next Crimea: A place you may not know (from the Foreign Policy Research Institute)
The science of fat
Robert E Lee’s farewell address to the Army of Virginia (Smithsonian) l

On Potpourri
I’ve always support the US Postal Service (USPS). The fact that the US Postal Service loses money is no secret, but here’s an interesting tale of their inefficiency. Our recent move involved a change of address, but within the same suburban post office. When mail with the old address arrives, I thought the mail would switch from one carrier to another within the same post office. OH NO … that would be too easy. My post office sends the old mail downtown, which puts on a change of address label, and returns it to my post office for delivery to my new address.

Earlier this week I encountered this interesting question when completing a form: Which 3 were the most important factors in your decision to purchase this product? (Select 1)

Act 3 of Life: The Musical was a success. The act provide song titles with the following names: Abraham, Amy, Archie, Billie Jean, Billy, Boris, Catherine, Cathy, Daniel, Debra, Diane, Don, Eleanor, Elise, Elmo, Elsie, Elvis, Frank, Fred, Georgia, Holly,  Jack, James, Jane, Jesse, Joanna, John, Laura, Linda, Lola, Lucille, Mack, Marina, Mathew, Michelle, Nikita, Rachel, Rosalinda, Roxanne, Ruby, Sylvia, Sue, Tina Marie, Valentine, Valerie, Veronica, Victoria, Virginia, and Zorba.

No Saturday Morning Cartoon Classic this weekend, but there will be something.

Here are your weekend celebrations

• (Weekend) Toads Suck Daze
• (Fri) No Pants Day, Tuba Day, Truffles Day, Play a Ukulele Day, Space Day, Roberts’ Rule of Order Day, Mollusk Day
• (Sat) Beer Pong Day, Join Hands Day, Hug Your Cat Day, Garden Meditation Day, Bladder Cancer Awareness Day, Free Comic Book Day, Armed Forces Day, Scrapbooking Day, Two Different Colored Shoes Day, Public Radio Day, Paranormal Day, Homebrew Day, Lumpy Rag Day, Press Freedom Day, Kentucky Derby Day
• (Sun) Intergalactic Star Wars Day, Firefighters Day, Respect for Chickens Day, Lemonade Day, Baby Lost Mothers Day, Infertility Survival Day, Motorcycles Mass & Blessing of the Bikes Day, Orange Juice Day, Petite and Proud Day, Give Day, Laughter Day, Candied Orange Peel Day, Mayday for Mutts Day

To send you into the weekend, here’s something from The Piano Guys that will make you smile.Enjoy, have a safe weekend and in the words of Garrison Keillor, Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.